to think that if there are stepchildren in your family you should treat them the same as non-stepchildren?

[RodneyTheChristmasElf]

Because my ILs seemed to have lost all interest in their step-grandaughter of 14 years since the arrival of 'their first proper grandchild'. I just don't understand it. Surely they must realise that treating their new grandson so much better than his sister is not only harmful to her but also harmful to her.

I used to love my ILs but since DS arrived I find myself disliking them more and more.

Yes Pixi but the in laws she no respect to op dd, and mil was downright awful getting everybody a cake accept op dd, not acceptable, you don't treat another human being like that. She had rather nerve to get all huffy when op dh went out and bout op dd some muffins as a result of her being excluded from the cakes, as dd did not share them. Well she bloody well should nt have to. Op mil sound very toxic!

I dont think you can compare a baby's first christmas to a 6 year old entering your life.

The cakes etc disgusting - if it was deliberate - depends if they thought she would be out and it was akin to my mum bringig 4 cakes and DH unexpectedly being home.

She is 20 and a uni student.

My brother has a DSS and a DD. I treat them both exactly the same, spend the same on them for birthdays and Christmas and they both call me auntie. My DM is Nana to both of them and treats them both as blood relatives. It is just the done thing in my family. I have 12 nieces and nephews and couldn't imagine treating 11 one way and 1 differently.

Then mil should have bought one fr dsd anyway, if she not there than save it for later. I get the impression that because if op dd sn, she cannot go out I depend tey, so more likely to be with her parents anyway!

Rodney 12 years and they treat her like that? that is awful! You should say something, poor kid must notice? horrible woman!

That is sad needaholiday, very sad. Would that change if you were married!

In all honesty they should be treated the same regardless of age. I understand that if this is the baby's first Christmas the lump sum should be seen as a one off.... But the savings and shares should be equal as they are continuous.

DP has been in DSs life since he was 6 months old (no contact with bio dad). His family have recently asked if they can be grandma, uncle, aunt etc. If after I agreed to this, they treat DS differently to future children I'll be horrified.

Honestly, I think £50 for a 20 year old, unrelated or not, autistic or not, is generous.

My family stop buying presents for kids once they turn 18, then they join the Secret Santa pot with the rest of us.