to think people that say, let me know if you need anything. are not actually offering any real help at all

[Anyfuckerisnotguilty]

That saying really gets on my nerves

people say it to make themselves feel good and helpful

wben really its just an empty offer

if your going to offer help. Make it a real offer

No, sometimes it's an empty offer but mosty it means 'I don't know what the hell will help you but I'm open to suggestions'

I say it, I mean it and I have been taken up on it.

YABU.

Yes sometimes its genuine
but in the main its a vauge evasive empty offer

I'm with Northern.
It means "tell me what you want and I'll do my best to help. But I won't (probably) spontaneously do things that I think will help in case they don't" when I say it.

Yabvu. Sometimes the person offering feels helpless or doesn't want to offend. As a pp, I've said it and been taken up on it

My friends don't seem to hesitate to call me when they need something - so I guess they don't see it as an empty offer

I do try to offer specific things when I can and lots of advice whether they want it or not but will also say ^^

Oh and last night, my neighbours son came in for a couple of hours when he 'ran away from home' and he actually said 'you always say to let you know if you can help' - bless, he's 10 and having problems with his step-dad.

I actually think most people do mean it - it's just that people are terribly 'british' about not asking for help or imposing.

Except my friends who are not at all relucant to ask for help - frequently Good job I love them all to bits really.

YABU. Of course it might actually be more helpful to do something practical but often it's really hard to know what to do unless you know the person v well. You sound very cynical.

What counts as a "real" offer then in your book?

True.
I said it today to a friend with marriage problems. Said it while thinking, "please don't ask me to do anything as I can't get involved"

Dunno, felt I should offer something.

I've said it in the past week and meant it.

Should I be more specific?

Yabu, it's an open offer of help. Offering something specific only works if you know what that specific is.

YABU I agree that actually British people are crap at asking for help. I say this often, and mean it. Eg, v pregnant friend, I'll offer to do their ironing or take their toddler for a day etc but rarely get taken up on it. These are good friends, they trust me with their kids, I just think they think they can't actually say yes.

YABU.
I say it when I mean "I love you, I want to help but I don't know the best way. I don't want to trample over what you want or force you to do things my way. I would love it if you let me help you."

It's absolutely not something I would say if I didn't mean it.

I say it and mean it.

I often say it, my friends know I mean it

Some people need space and prefer to reach out rather than someone being there telling them what they will do for them it's crowding

YABU. I said it to my neighbour the other day as she told me that her father had died once I had offered my commiserations.

I don't know if she needs any help or not, or if so what form that would take, but I did want her to know that I was there and she could ask me if she wanted something done or someone to talk to.

I say it when I don't know what help, if any, I can offer. Am I meant to be psychic and know what you want without being told?

I say it all the time and mean it. Be it a friend stuck home with a sick child or a friend going through a tougher time where I want to help but don't know how.

I do sometimes say it but try to rephrase it as "is there anything I can do to help you?" Or offer something specific like picking up from school the child of a friend when she is poorly, or fetch a pint of milk from the shops.

My friends don't like to ask for help, but if I give a specific example, they will often say "actually, that would be great, thanks".

I don't agree with that necessarily. I have some friends going through very difficult things at the moment and I dont want to force myself on them as in "I will take you out/get your shopping/treat you to lunch" because they may not feel up to agreeing to those things but I want them to know I care. I think if is important to follow those statements up with regular texts and chats to show you really are thinking of them.

I only say it if i wish i could do something, however small, to make someone's situation a bit easier, but feel unable to make any assumptions at all about what that something might be.

If I say it, it certainly isn't an empty offer.
It roughly means: I don't know what is best to offer, or if you want me to do anything, so ask me anything and I'll do it if I can. I usually can.

YABU

I say it and mean it - but things I might consider helpful, someone else might see as intrusive and unnecessary. I require direction. I'm very good at getting things organised and done, but you have to tell me what you want to occur first.

When I say it, I mean it.

I know what you mean but I have definitely done it.

I said it once to someone whose husband had died. It was lame so I followed it up immediately with "like, don't forget I have a car when when you are sorting out the funeral, like I can drive around with anything that needs to be carried or give old people lifts or plates of food or anything" (we were young, in London, lots of people didn't have cars)

In the end she asked me to .... sing. I said "anything", so I did. It was hard. but she asked me and I did

so - sometimes the person knows they can ask for anything and it does mean something