To not be ok with MIL only wanting one DC to visit?

[pingulingo]

I have huge issues with my MIL and I'm not sure if it's clouding my opinion on this matter.

I have two DC, 12 month age gap at 1 yr old and 2 yr old. MIL is early 50s and fit and well. She lives 250 miles away with FIL and they last had the DC come stay with them in the summer (when we were moving house). MIL has asked to have the DC in the new year for a few days (I've set a max of 3 nights) and has said she only wants one as she can't cope with two. She says she doesn't mind which she has first and will have the second at some point in the future.

AIBU to be uncomfortable with this? I know my 1 yr old will not be aware but I think it's setting a precedent I don't like if nothing else.

She says she doesn't mind which DC she has - although my suspicion is this isn't exactly true and she will have some last minute excuse why it's better to have the older 2yr old this time

3 nights with a grandparent they haven't seen in six months because you don't trust them? No way.

I am not a grandmother but I would certainly want to have one at a time sometimes.

Too young to be staying so far away with anyone! Leave it until they are older, have spent more time with each other at yours or meet ups.

Not too young if they see it as a home from home. Mine stayed with both sets of grandparents at that age, but it really was home from home. Lovely for both sides.

JoinYourPlayFellows - not sure my question warranted such a stern and aggressive reply. You don't sound very nice.

In retrospect maybe it was because my daughter was full time in nursery from 6 months and so was used to spending time away from me and my husband.

You are not ok with saying yes.
Bollocks to being fair because you're ok with your mum having them. I assume your mum sees them on a regular basis, medicates them when asked and respects your wishes regarding activities that could endanger them?
Your prioirty is your children, not your mil.
Keep seeing them with the kids and tell her the truth-too young for overnight visits with someone they don't see much of.

Yeah my mum does see them more even though they live quite far away too. Plus my mum uses FaceTime so my older DS especially knows "nanny" and regularly will mention her unprompted and ask to see her.

My MIl does send postcards to my eldest (not sure why she can't address to both DC as neither can actually read) which is a nice gesture but DC have no concept it's from grandma. I do show family photos to the DC which my eldest likes. I don't want ethe set of grandparents to be like strangers. But I do wish my PIL would embrace technology a bit more as a weeky FaceTime would do a lot - even with my youngest - my mum is a loon and quite happy to spend time blowing raspberries and funny faces just to make my 1 yr old laugh.