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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have pointed out a spelling mistake in a menu?

384 replies

freckledleopard · 18/12/2013 10:16

First off, I really don't think I was being unreasonable, but would like others' opinions please.

I went for drinks last night in a cafe I'd not been to before. The various food options were written on a blackboard above the tills. One of the options described sausages and "gravey". I didn't say anything initially - ordered my drink, thanked the server and went to my seat. Later in the evening, when ordering again, whilst waiting for my wine, I spoke to the same assistant and said, with a bit of a smile, "Sorry, I just wanted to point out that "gravy" is not spelled with an "e" in it". I smiled again to reiterate I was being friendly and added, "I just notice these things!" (which is true. I'm a lawyer and a pedant.)

The woman's demeanour immediately changed at this point. She said "well, I didn't write it, but I'll be sure to tell my dyslexic colleague that she spelled it wrong" (she really did emphasise the word dyslexic). Again, I smiled (awkwardly now) and repeated that I had a job that made me notice spelling errors. Again, she repeated that she would be sure to tell her "dyslexic colleague that she couldn't spell 'gravy'".

I paid for my drink and walked away blushing, feeling really pissed off. Frankly, if you're going to have a dyslexic colleague write the menus, surely it would be common sense to double check the spelling? Further, I always point out spelling and grammar mistakes on public signs and leaflets (and have been known to tweet companies whose packaging contains errors) so that the relevant people can correct them.

I'm still pissed off today (and yes, I appreciate it's a first world problem). But AIBU to think the assistant was rude, abrupt and should perhaps have graciously accepted what I said, maybe made a joke of it, rather than having a go at me?

OP posts:

hmc · 18/12/2013 13:31

YY thebody

and the latter group cannot be reasoned with!

msmoss · 18/12/2013 13:32

The waitress however did put forward a response designed to make the OP feel bad about herself.

SunshinemMum · 18/12/2013 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sunflower49 · 18/12/2013 13:33

YWNBU.
She was BU by response. A favoured response would be to apologise and say she would fix it.

If she really felt the need to say her colleague was dyslexic, (if she actually was!) she could have said, 'My colleague is dyslexic but we should have noticed that misprint' , or something similar.

The reason for what I've bracketed, is it seems to be this person could have just not liked being criticised and decided to retaliate by making you feel uncomfortable.

I point out errors all the time.I emailed a (very posh!) hotel/restaurant not so long ago with some pretty sarcastic remarks about several errors on their menu. I don't think it looks professional and it puts me off.

I know and have worked with many dyslexic people, as well as many people who find spelling and grammar to not be their strong point-I don't judge them whatsoever-I help them, I proof read and I expect if somebody knows they may need help, to ask for it.
This is one reason why I'm suspicious as to whether there is actually a dyslexic colleague.

ShoeWhore · 18/12/2013 13:37

I'd have noticed this too but I wouldn't have pointed it out. Because it really doesn't matter!

sapfu · 18/12/2013 13:40

hmc I disagree - I think it's helpful to have mistakes pointed out.

Had I been the waitress/cafe person to whom freckled leopard was speaking, I would have made a joke out of it,

aciddrops · 18/12/2013 13:42

Also, to those who say that dyslexics should check their work, I agree. But, if you are dyslexic, you cannot see all your errors. Obviously, a blackboard does not have a spell-check function and you would only check a word that you thought might be wrong. If it doesn't feel wrong, then you assume it is right. Perhaps the dyslexic board writer didn't have enough time to do all this checking and given that no member of staff corrected it, then I would assume that they would not have been very useful to check it either.

cafecito · 18/12/2013 13:43

I also believe the waitress was rude, and it is actually helpful to companies/people to have their mistakes discreetly corrected.

nauticant · 18/12/2013 13:44

A favoured response would be to apologise

The waitress was to apologise for a spelling mistake? Really? Would that be because the misspelling would have hurt the OP's feelings?

bisjo · 18/12/2013 13:46

I'm a lawyer and I think pointing out incorrect spelling is insulting. Most people don't deliberately misspell words and therefore pointing out their error is telling them they have done something wrong. I don't know anyone who likes to be told they are wrong.

Imvho the only time spelling errors matter are those in CVs I receive and in any work document I am asked to review.

TheFarSide · 18/12/2013 13:47

I don't like guilt trippers, and it seems the waitress fell into this trap - trying to make the OP feel guilty for inadvertently criticising a poor helpless dyslexic person.

By the same token, how would all the people having a go at the OP feel if it turned out her supposed lack of emotional intelligence/social skills were a result of something like Asperger's?

I think the waitress over-reacted in this case.

hmc · 18/12/2013 13:49

Well not everyone is the same sapfu, but my dd would be very perturbed (but too polite to show it), and I know other people with dyslexia who would feel similarly .....may I be bold enough to suggest it would be small minority, with thicker skins, who wouldn't mind. I see plenty of 'shaming' on public boards (and come across examples in RL) to know there is a prevalent attitude of lets all belittle the person who can't spell. It seems to attract contempt (obviously not from everybody but from enough people to make it matter) whereas strangely an inability in maths for example is accepted as entirely reasonable

thebody · 18/12/2013 13:50

msmoss I was also going by the ops subsequent posts not just her original one.

She thinks she's right. Why post on aibu if you think you are right.

youretoastmildred · 18/12/2013 13:53

OP, I do not believe you are nearly as good at spelling as you think, if you point out mistakes whenever you see them, and this is the first time you have not had a good response. Frankly if you point out all the spelling mistakes in daily life and are not used to being told to fuck off at least once a day, you are missing a lot of them.

I can't believe how many people think this behaviour is ok. I never ever want to go out with any of you. The waitress should have kicked you out and told you to make your own dinner, on the basis that if she expects waitresses to spell as well as lawyers then lawyers should be prepared to roll their sleeves up and cook and serve as well as the pros.

hmc · 18/12/2013 13:57

@ youretoastmildred

thebody · 18/12/2013 13:58

As I posted before my ds1 is dyslexic and has been bullied for it. He can't proof read his work because he doesn't subways know its bloody wrong. Surely that's obvious.

If the op was at work correcting documents then of course she should point it out.

She was in a cafe and decided to let the waitress know how clever she is by pointing out a minor spelling mistake

If I had been with her I would have told her to get a fucking grip and apologised to the waitress for her twattishness..

Original poster

freckledleopard · 18/12/2013 13:59

Why post on aibu if you think you are right.

Well, obviously to get flamed, be told I'm a pedantic asshole with no empathy or social skills who is possibly on the ASD spectrum. Clearly .

OP posts:

thebody · 18/12/2013 14:00

yourtoastmildred absolutely.

msmoss · 18/12/2013 14:00

thebody the OP is much less an arse than the waitress.

The OP's intention in mentioning the mistake was so that it could be corrected, she wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad about. The waitresses response on the otherhand was designed to bring the OP down a peg or two and make her feel about herself.

So whilst it can be annoying to have your mistakes pointed out there is no need to be rude.

hmc · 18/12/2013 14:02

I must confess I am feeling sorry for you freckledleopard - but tis a sensitive issue.

I've tried not to be too rude (and have been okay, I think...?) but the subject gives me the rage

Original poster

freckledleopard · 18/12/2013 14:04

Don't worry hmc - I've been on this site long enough to know that if one raises one's head above the parapet on AIBU, there's a strong likelihood of being roundly abused!

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 18/12/2013 14:04

Well there was no need to mention it in the first place was there. If someone tells you repeatedly that they are a lawyer and notice these things or "that they have a job that makes them notice", then why wouldn't you be pissed off.

What did her profession have to do with it? Why mention the job thing at all of not to make out you are superior in some way to a "server"

msmoss · 18/12/2013 14:04

freckledleopard mission accomplished then

RibbonsInMyHair · 18/12/2013 14:07

A favoured response would be to apologise and say she would fix it.

Apologise?

What the hell for?

People make mistakes. I understand that half of MN seems to read the dictionary every night before bed, and tweet companies to inform them of their spelling errors. But why the need for an apology?

TheFarSide · 18/12/2013 14:07

Exactly, msmoss.

OP, I don't think you're on the ASD spectrum (in case it was my post that made you feel that way) - I was just making the point that some people, in this case the waitress, like to make others feel guilty.

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