to have pointed out a spelling mistake in a menu?

[freckledleopard]

First off, I really don't think I was being unreasonable, but would like others' opinions please.

I went for drinks last night in a cafe I'd not been to before. The various food options were written on a blackboard above the tills. One of the options described sausages and "gravey". I didn't say anything initially - ordered my drink, thanked the server and went to my seat. Later in the evening, when ordering again, whilst waiting for my wine, I spoke to the same assistant and said, with a bit of a smile, "Sorry, I just wanted to point out that "gravy" is not spelled with an "e" in it". I smiled again to reiterate I was being friendly and added, "I just notice these things!" (which is true. I'm a lawyer and a pedant.)

The woman's demeanour immediately changed at this point. She said "well, I didn't write it, but I'll be sure to tell my dyslexic colleague that she spelled it wrong" (she really did emphasise the word dyslexic). Again, I smiled (awkwardly now) and repeated that I had a job that made me notice spelling errors. Again, she repeated that she would be sure to tell her "dyslexic colleague that she couldn't spell 'gravy'".

I paid for my drink and walked away blushing, feeling really pissed off. Frankly, if you're going to have a dyslexic colleague write the menus, surely it would be common sense to double check the spelling? Further, I always point out spelling and grammar mistakes on public signs and leaflets (and have been known to tweet companies whose packaging contains errors) so that the relevant people can correct them.

I'm still pissed off today (and yes, I appreciate it's a first world problem). But AIBU to think the assistant was rude, abrupt and should perhaps have graciously accepted what I said, maybe made a joke of it, rather than having a go at me?

I think you were being unreasonable and rude to point out the error.

She has one that says 'always right' and thinks it's funny.

This is about people how prefer things to be right versus people who prefer people to feel right.

Some of us are focussed on practicalities. We would like our own errors pointed out and tend to assume others would too. We think 'bloody hell I would be sooo embarrassed if no one told me I had gotten this wrong and the sign was up ALL AFTERNOON. Why the FECK didn't anyone tell me?'

Others are focussed on people. They would rather let a mistake of theirs carry on than deal with any unpleasantness that might arise from pointing out the mistake or correcting it. They think 'argh why did you mention it? Now I am embarrassed and you are embarrassed and there will be thread on MN in two days time. How could it possibly be worth it for an extra 'e'?'

Turns out people are different.

who probably rather than how...but who knows...

Oh - I forgot to say, OP people who would rather things were right than that everybody was happy are sadly (for us) in the minority in society as a whole. So although you are happy having your errors pointed out it is a massive mistake to think that the average person you bump into feels the same way.

I don't consider my dyslexia to be a disability.

Were I given the task of writing a menu, I would ask it be proof read, or someone better suited to the took it on.

And I don't mind being corrected, I honestly laughed when LRD pointed out my misspelling. But then, if someone I knew to be dyslexic sent me a text, for example, misspelling something, I wouldn't point it out (if I noticed). However, if I were looking over their CV, I would.

I'm with the OP.

Oh, and in case it's relevant, 'gravey' would have had me confused for a moment. I would be thinking, is that 'gravy' or another thing?

Yabu. I'd have done the same. Actually, I think the "dyslexic" was a figment of the imagination. The person you spoke to wrote the menu herself, hence her embarrassment. That's why she was so arsey.

If she can't be bothered to check her own menu, it doesn't bode well for business, imo.

Meant yanbu! I blame the tablet......

Now the tablet is dyslexic!

While I understand the annoyance that errors cause, I think complaining about misspellings is rude because it can seem as if you are saying that someone has been poorly educated, and that you have a right to 'correct' them. Language can be very political like that.

Frankly, if no one died, or was likely to get sued because of the error, I'd have left it alone.

"Surely even if you are dyslexic it is useful to have a spelling mistake pointed out to you so you can correct it? "

Heavens no Billybanter! - why would you think that? Certainly not by a customer - better if coming from a colleague whom you know, like and trust. Funnily enough people with dyslexia are aware that they are prone to making spelling mistakes . If the board was in fact written by a dyslexic person he or she no doubt did check it but that one spelling eluded them. I think they did pretty well with just the one error. Many people with dyslexia suffer from lower self esteem (like my dd) due to their spLD and society's stupid crass assumption that an inability to spell equates to being a bit thick... Random people telling a dyslexic person that they have made a spelling mistake - especially when they may have laboured long and hard to get it right - is not especially helpful, - again, different if you are their teacher / a trusted friend/ colleague / family member (when they know that your motive is to help not condescend)

I am aware that the waitress in this case was purportedly not the person who wrote it, just thought I'd comment on your specific point

And OP - you may not have intended it but you always and invariably will come across as patronising in doing this. I am with the "does it really matter" brigade since it was just a wipe on, wipe off chalkboard. Will concede it matters on published, permanent material however

Icebeing sounds like a fair assessment. I'm probably more inclined to be focused on practicalities and would have been grateful for you spotting the error and letting me know.

Just a shame I wasn't your waitress

Although I do think the waitress was unreasonable in her response, surely in any customer facing role you just have to suck up the comments and put a smile on your face (and then give the customer a good slagging off to your colleagues out of earshot) and I'd be quite annoyed if I was the colleague with dyslexia.

yanbu - I was a lawyer, and I notice these things all the time (not sure the two are connected, I am no longer a lawyer, and am still a pedant) - when it comes to writing on a board, I ignore it - but things that may make someone look bad or stupid, then yes I find it very hard to say nothing. I am a bit better now.. but find it very hard to put the red pen away, particularly when it involves big companies or merchandise for educational purposes

I always assume that people who make mistakes do so because they either write/ type too quickly, don't proof read or maybe just don't realise how it's spelt. I'd never take spelling as a sign of intelligence.

Which is probably why I see pointing out mistakes as a favour rather than an insult.

Although I do think the waitress was unreasonable in her response, surely in any customer facing role you just have to suck up the comments and put a smile on your face (and then give the customer a good slagging off to your colleagues out of earshot)

I think even the rude waitresses are saints :o
Imagine having to put up with rude u grateful, whingey, pedantic customers aaaallllll day. Same jones over and over and over. If you make it past the four hour mark you deserve a medel :o where's mine

A business needs to project itself in the best way possible. It makes sense to ensure that details are correct.

We can't all be good at everything and there's nothing wrong with that so it's up to a business to ensure that staff are responsible for tasks they are best suited to.

There's a big difference between making a formal complaint and pointing out an error so it can be corrected for the good of the image the business is promoting.

The OP did the right thing to gently raise it because it does no harm and can only benefit the business.

msmoss - thank you. You have succinctly put into words the point I was trying to get across. I don't think of correcting spelling as insulting - if someone genuinely isn't aware that there's a spelling mistake or typo, then surely it's in their interests to have it pointed out?

Sunshine - no-one was making a joke and no walk of shame necessary. A simple "thanks for letting me know" would have been fine (even if privately she thought, "fuck off you pedantic wanker").

hmc surely a dyslexic person in charge of writing a menu board would be even more conscientious about spelling, though? I don't think being dyslexic should be an excuse for making errors. Spelling can quite easily be checked by someone else, after all.

I think there are 2 types of people.

The first type are thoughtful and consider other people's feelings and consequences before opening their mouths even if they know they are right. They are kind, tactful and friendly.

The second type have huge egos, don't consider other people's feelings or conveniences, they see their need to be right and clever trumps everything else. These people are smug, patronising and unpopular.

I see signs mis spelt all the time. Usually I think it's because a lot of the staff in some places we go to don't speak Englishbas a first language.

Ho ho ho. Yes, it's those who have taken the trouble to learn a second language who are so ludicrously sloppy with the written word. Defo-pants.

thebody sorry but that is a bit uncalled for. The OP pointed out a spelling mistake she didn't give the waitress a character assassination.

OP, YANBU, by the way.