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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoyed with what dp has bought me

58 replies

TheCrumpetQueen · 16/12/2013 18:20

Just seen in a carrier bag (wasn't hidden) that dp has bought me another Pandora charm thing for Christmas I guess.

I've got a whole bracelet full as he's bought a charm for every birthday and Christmas for a while. I stopped wearing it when ds was born as it kept clipping him when I would hold him.

He knows I don't wear it and that its full. I really think its a bit of a cop out gift as he couldn't be bothered to think of something different. I actually told him I would like a little antique necklace from a specific shop the other day.

I'm an ungrateful twunt, aren't I

OP posts:
Bubbless · 16/12/2013 18:26

No!! I've got a pandora bracelet that I wear and is half full.. I've still banned dp from buying any because it's just so I unthoughtful! My dad and brother buy them, but I expect my dp to pay attention to what I want!!

a lot of people will say your being ungrateful...

kennyp · 16/12/2013 18:29

i suppose you are a bit ungrateful but my dh bought me a massive gift voucher for where i get my eyebrows dyed etc etc. except he bought it for teh place i USED to get my eyebrows dyed and didn't like. and he couldn't take the voucher back. he was going to use it for facials (!!) but now he's lost the voucher.

if i'd've posted about it i would have been lambasted i'm sure. but such is life and it's between me and my husband to be honest.

as monica said to someone when tag bought rachel that scooter in friends "stick to the list".

WhoNickedMyName · 16/12/2013 18:34

YANBU.

A charm for every birthday and Christmas to the point that you've filled a bracelet - no thought has gone into that after the first year, had it.

Bowlersarm · 16/12/2013 18:35

How do you know he hasn't bought you something else as well?

BlackholesAndRevelations · 16/12/2013 18:37

How do you know it's for you?! Wink

lottieandmia · 16/12/2013 18:39

I think you are being a bit ungrateful, sorry - maybe he thinks you'll be able to swap the charms around and presumably you'll be able to wear the bracelet if you have a child free night? Some people get nothing for Christmas...

AryaofhouseSnark · 16/12/2013 18:42

Have you actually said "I really don't need anymore charms, it's full, buy me something else next year" ?
If not he might not have realised. I might not remember if a bracelet was full or if someone had stopped wearing it, maybe I am just not very thoughtful.

Shellywelly1973 · 16/12/2013 18:45

It could be worse... exdp bought me a carpet cleaner 2 years ago!

AcheyFanny · 16/12/2013 18:45

Indeed some folks get nowt, like me. We can't afford to buy for each other this year.

Calloh · 16/12/2013 18:47

YANBU

I don't think you have to automatically be grateful for any present. Surely it's the thought that goes into it, and if virtually none has then I don't think you have to be particularly grateful. And Christmas comes with at least two months of reminders so it's not even the basic gratitude for remembering a birthday.

Could you tell him that you know you said you didn't want any pandora charms and if that's going to be tough for him you can give some more direction?

Preciousbane · 16/12/2013 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IamInvisible · 16/12/2013 18:50

He might have bought you a Pandora ring, or necklace, or watch, or a leather bracelet to put one or two charms on because your's is full.

I seriously do not get all this angst over presents that haven't been given yet. I do think you are being a bit ungrateful.

Like, Achey said, some folk get nothing, and some folk, like me, get to spend Christmas miles away from our DH's.

Calloh · 16/12/2013 18:51

I totally understand that some people get nothing and that could be really shit. But problems aren't entirely comparative.

When DH has brought me presents which are so unlike something I would ever want it is like a slap in a face and makes me think he doesn't know me. When he gets me something with minimal effort because he can't be arsed it makes me wonder if I matter that much to him.

ziggiestardust · 16/12/2013 18:51

I think YANBU actually. I wouldn't just buy a pandora bracelet for someone and then think 'great, that's every event covered for the next 10 years!' Grin It sort of lacks the element of surprise, doesn't it?!

Can you hint? Like pretend this thread isn't written by you, tut loudly and then when he asks what's wrong, just say you're reading a thread on MN about pandora charms, and everyone agrees that it's a cop out gift year after year and this poor woman has got about 60 charms for it now. Then say, 'speaking of which, can't wait to see what you've got me babes!'

Plenty of time for him to change it, he gets the message (otherwise it's just wasted money) and you're happy Smile

Judyandherdreamofhorses · 16/12/2013 18:52

Isn't that the point of these things? That you add more to them? I wouldn't have thought people generally go out and buy charms themselves. They're just for gifts for people who are hard to buy for.

Original poster
TheCrumpetQueen · 16/12/2013 18:58

I hadn't thought it might not be a charm fucking hope not

I can't really afford gifts this year so am using my overdraft.

I think it's lazy if it is because I did tell him I can't wear it anymore and it's full and told him explicitly if he were to buy me something, what I would actually appreciate.

I'm getting him a pair of Simpsons socks now. :)

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCrumpetQueen · 16/12/2013 18:59

I think most women are so bloody easy to buy for tbh

OP posts:
ziggiestardust · 16/12/2013 19:00

But judy the OP said it's full and she doesn't really wear it.

XiCi · 16/12/2013 19:01

Is it possible the charm is a little stocking filler and he's also got you the necklace you want?

bebanjo · 16/12/2013 19:03

This is why I get myself what I want, pop it into DH t shirt draw and let him and DD wrap them.

ajandjjmum · 16/12/2013 19:03

Maybe it's a necklace, so you can off-load some of your charms on to it. Now that would have shown thought! Grin

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA · 16/12/2013 19:04

My DP bought me a mobile phone for virtually every birthday and christmas - or should i say, updated, to be fair he didn't have much money but it did get a bit boring :)

ziggiestardust · 16/12/2013 19:04

bebanjo... Madam, that is inspired Grin

LittleRedDinosaur · 16/12/2013 19:06

It depends- if it was bought in a "fuck it, I know she doesn't want this but I can't be arsed" way then YANBU. But if it were more "oh god, I really want to get her something nice but I don't know where to start, buying presents is all stressy" then YAB a bit U. Maybe he's just shit at presents

Mummytotwox · 16/12/2013 19:15

I only have charms that mean things ;)