AIBU to think those who are addicted to smoking are incredibly selfish?

[GimmeDaBoobehz]

I don't like smoking anyway, which is probably obvious from my OP.

I haven't posted anything that controversial on here before and imagine this might get some peoples heckles up, but I am genuinely interested to see if I split a divide or if there is a general consensus on this issue here.

I say addicted to smoking because those who have the odd cigarette socially don't tend to do this (although smoking in general tends to make me want to vomit, to be honest with you but I don't stop someone else from smoking obviously, because that is their choice).

I love my Mum to pieces she is a lovely mother and an amazing grandmother to my DD. However, she smokes around 15-25 cigarettes a day, I'd guess on average although sometimes it evens out more than this, less if she's feeling a bit ill etc.

Anyway, I digress - if she has ran out of tobacco smoke and she hasn't bought enough to last her she will ask my Dad to go out and drive and get some which is generally fine most of the time but even if he has just straight away came back from work, or if he's feeling ill she still insists he should do it then and she will get really aggressive verbally if it isn't done.

I know almost for a fact if it was between me picking up a pill for a certain ache or pain or her getting her tobacco, she'd not go without the tobacco unless it would only be for an hour. If it was a 24 hour period, I know she would choose to have the cigarettes.

I have a few friends who are the same and who also smoke -

AIBU to think that it's very selfish to smoke and make other people a) suffer the smell of your cigarette b) go and fetch you some more cigarettes or tobacco if you have ran out and c) hold you up from going somewhere because they are 'just having another cigarette'.

I expect I'll get flamed by the pro smoking or pro choice of smoking people, but it really does bother me and not just me, but others I know.

Addiction by it's very nature is selfish safely.

Sadly not safely*

crowler

I wasn't referring to your posts it was what Mrsjay said about feeling she was offending people :)

wel I do like the Stephen fry quote , meh I do try and not smoke around people , I am the only smoker I know of in the organisation i work for I feel a bit weird about that

Dad is not being abused Mum just gets grumpy she doesn't use ultimatums on him or anything.

I think my Mum has found this thread if so sorry Mum but I really, really worry about you.

I guess I don't get addiction. I have become close to depending on drink at 18/19 years old but pulled myself back-- I want to have control of myself not a substance.

Ironic as I take anti Ds but that has been very necessary.

Oh and I think it is because Dad drives and Mum doesn't.

YABU your mums addicted.

I know some lovely people who cant give up smoking for anything, their brain chemistry has been hijacked.

I smoked for a bit and gave it up easily, that doesnt make me superior in any way, I just wasnt biologically hooked like some smokers are.

I recently noticed a friend who was a smoker since 13 was smoking an e- ciggie.
She'd been desperate to quit for years for the sake of her DC and herself. Finally with E-cigs she was able to drop real cigs because it gave her the nicotine hit without the other stuff.

Addictions generally are selfish.

It's stupid to even start smoking, but for some reason, people do.

I do hate this "oh I'm addicted, I can't help it attitude". No one is saying you could stop right now and never go back but you could seek help. Acting in a helpless manner just perpetuates the addiction.

I've struggled with addiction. It's something I'll live with forever and will always have to be aware of

YABU. I finally quit this year but it was very difficult.

I do hate this "oh I'm addicted, I can't help it attitude". No one is saying you could stop right now and never go back but you could seek help

I have, I been to to doctors, stop smoking wales bought every product under the sun to help me quit. The only thing that worked was pregnancy and the DC being a baby. I wish I never ever touched that first cigarette.

I'm on my last hope with the easy way book

Its a legalised drug, much like alcohol. She can't help it.

Because it was normalised for her when she was young, I assume - my dm said that her dr had an ashtray in his room and smoked- its very hard for her.

I used to smoke and gave up quite easily. But you have to remember that for people who have smoked for years its a way of life. I think it shouid be banned altogether, but the money it brings in in taxes is too high for the government to do this. Same with alcohol- I would be happy for this to be banned as well, but perhaps we would all then realise how crap the government are and revolt.

Your dm may be avoiding issues with fags.

Addictions make people selfish but you should really feel sorry for smokers because they have little choice in their behaviour. (They are victims.)

And there are other 'milder' addictions about, (eg watching TV series, eating sweets/cakes), which mean that you might also be an addict? (Our little treats can be just as selfish/unhealthy and just as hard to control/give up?)

So it's a bit tricky to call a (smoker) pot "black", in case it turns out you are a (choc eating) kettle?

Yes, the smoke smells and the passive smoking can kill, but I also hate seeing fat people eating (unhealthy) food in public places, (when I know they really shouldn't) ... for example. (Or coughing in my face.)

I don't smoke and ABSOLUTELY HATE cig smoke/dropped butts, but think there are a lot of equally annoying/disgusting habits about in the world, (eg spitting), and that we all behave "selfish" in some way or other?

YABU

You are right of course, Lavender

My Mum started smoking at around 14 years old and as long as she did it discretely I don't think my DGM minded, to be honest.

They are both lovely women but my DGM smokes too. Even with COPD she still doesn't stop smoking, so I know that addiction can really take someone.

I just sincerely worry about those I love having cancer, or ashma playing up & etc.

Your Mum does sound a bit selfish but not sure all smokers are the same. However, addiction to any drug can affect people badly - just look what people do to get illegal drugs like heroine etc.

I have given up smoking so may be a bit biased here as obviously am a bit 1. I have given up why can't you and 2. really don't want to breathe in other people's smoke having gone to the trouble of giving up! But willing to accept I am typical ex smoker at times.

I now can't believe I used to do things like smoke at the table in restaurants and parties when there were non smokers there who were probably just being too politely to say anything.

My "thing" about smoking is when people smoke in queues - bus queue, taxi queue etc. I don't think anyone should smoke where you can't reasonable move away from them.

Watching pregnant women smoke makes my blood boil

I think this is a bit harsh. Being pregnant doesn't automatically mean you develop super powers to overcome an addiction when others equally are unable to.

Yes it's sad to think of the baby being harmed but I don't like the idea that pregnant women somehow because everyone's property the moment they get up the duff.

Yes, you are being VERY unreasonable. Not all smokers are like your mum. In fact, the majority aren't. I'm a very considerate smoker and don't allow my addiction to impact anyone else whatsoever. I will not smoke around people who don't want me to - it's as simple as that.

I actually believe smokers are harshly treated now as we've been demonised in a lot of people's eyes. Pub's are perfect examples of that, we aren't allowed to smoke inside (which I understand and am fine with) and go outside in the freezing cold and rain... as soon as the summer starts you have people complaining about the smokers being outside! Where do you want us to go?!

"I stopped, why can't you?" - logical fallacy. Smoking addiction has both physiological and psychological components, and as all of us are the unique product of our genes and our experiences, what one person achieves can't be extrapolated to everyone .

I'm teetotal. I have considerable experience of alcoholism in a loved one. How stupid would I need to be to say to that person "well hey, have you tried NOT being an alcoholic? Be teetotal, like me! I do it, why can't you?"

I'm an ex-smoker. I don't get to look down my nose at those who still smoke.

OP, your mother sounds as though she is selfish in some of her behaviour, but I doubt that (a) smoking is the cause of this, and (b) this behaviour of hers is particularly characteristic of smokers.