AIBU to think those who are addicted to smoking are incredibly selfish?

[GimmeDaBoobehz]

I don't like smoking anyway, which is probably obvious from my OP.

I haven't posted anything that controversial on here before and imagine this might get some peoples heckles up, but I am genuinely interested to see if I split a divide or if there is a general consensus on this issue here.

I say addicted to smoking because those who have the odd cigarette socially don't tend to do this (although smoking in general tends to make me want to vomit, to be honest with you but I don't stop someone else from smoking obviously, because that is their choice).

I love my Mum to pieces she is a lovely mother and an amazing grandmother to my DD. However, she smokes around 15-25 cigarettes a day, I'd guess on average although sometimes it evens out more than this, less if she's feeling a bit ill etc.

Anyway, I digress - if she has ran out of tobacco smoke and she hasn't bought enough to last her she will ask my Dad to go out and drive and get some which is generally fine most of the time but even if he has just straight away came back from work, or if he's feeling ill she still insists he should do it then and she will get really aggressive verbally if it isn't done.

I know almost for a fact if it was between me picking up a pill for a certain ache or pain or her getting her tobacco, she'd not go without the tobacco unless it would only be for an hour. If it was a 24 hour period, I know she would choose to have the cigarettes.

I have a few friends who are the same and who also smoke -

AIBU to think that it's very selfish to smoke and make other people a) suffer the smell of your cigarette b) go and fetch you some more cigarettes or tobacco if you have ran out and c) hold you up from going somewhere because they are 'just having another cigarette'.

I expect I'll get flamed by the pro smoking or pro choice of smoking people, but it really does bother me and not just me, but others I know.

I did smoke.
I don't smoke now.
I don't think it's made me less selfish.

I've just given up caffeine too.
Seen no difference there neither.

I think that people have different levels of nicotine addiction. I've smoked since being 15 but I go weeks and months between having one quite easily.

My mum was a really heavy smoker, to the extent that I wouldn't take DS to her house because she couldn't agree to not smoke whilst he was there. I found this incredibly selfish. And the fact that her and my dad smoked heavily in the house and car when I was young.

I would never smoke in front of any children let alone my own even outdoors. That doesn't make me a better person than my mum was though it's just that my level of addiction isn't the same.

Smokers are the most generous people around, they pay huge amounts of tax for the privilege of doing something that kills them younger, saving the the rest of us billions in pension and welfare payouts (and in case anyone says it, they pay far more in extra tax than their medical care costs the NHS).

Obviously those who buy black market cigs don't count!

I am a smoker and I very rarely ask DH to pick me up a packet, only time I do is if he is going to the shop.

I smoke because i am addicted and I haven't got the will power to quit.

I don't enjoy smoking, it makes me smell of stale smoke and it's will effect my heath. If I could stop I would.

Watching pregnant women smoke makes my blood boil. I used to smoke, I quit because I got pnumonia one Winter and it nearly killed me. Hardest thing I've done but it was worth it.

If nothing else, OP, you ABU to say it might get peoples' heckles up, when it does no such thing. It might get peoples' hackles up, but that might be another thread.

Hth

Watching a pregnant woman addicted to anything that might possibly harm her or her unborn child makes me sad. I wouldn't say it makes my blood boil though.

I'd hazard a guess that there are far more pregnant women addicted to overeating nowadays...thus putting themselves and their unborn babies at possible risk, due to being overweight/obese than there are pregnant smokers.

Making sacrifices to minimise the risk to your unborn child, is often very difficult if you're addicted to anything.

One can only hope that the 'possible' risk turns out OK.

I smoke and I really wish I had never started.
However, I do not smoke around children or non smokers, I do not put my need for a nicotine hit above anything else.
I don't drink, I don't overeat.
I try to put others first.
I don't believe I am any more or less selfish than the average person.

I don't think the OP's mum is pregnant is she, unless I've missed a great big red flag in one of her posts, so not sure how that's come into it?

OP, yes, your mum is selfish. It is selfish, if you smoke, to smoke around people who don't, to get other people to buy fags for you and to stop people doing things because you want a cigarette. Lots of smokers don't do that though, and your dad really needs to put his foot down and tell her to buy more fags when she's at the shops so she doesn't run out all the time. My dad smoked when I was a kid (stopped years ago) but he would buy his week's worth from the supermarket, I think they still sell 10 x 20 now (though you might need to extend your mortgage to afford it).

At the end of the day smoking is legal in this country (clearly it wouldn't be if it was introduced as a new drug, but then alcohol would also be on a bit of a sticky wicket) so smoking is de facto acceptable to an extent and some people who are properly hooked will never give it up.

I was thinking the other day when someone referred to smoking as an addiction that its not all that different to being addicted to drugs

It's exactly the same, in fact I believe cigarettes are more addictive than heroin.

I can't see any italics . But then again I type against a blue background and all your posts are on a pale lilac.

I know plenty of people who aren't smokers who are selfish arses. In fact I'd say 95% of the people I know, who are selfish arses, don't actually smoke.

Drug addicts are selfish in that case, are food addicts? Exercise addicts?

She's not being reasonable expecting your dad to jump to it she she needs some, and if she subjects him to passive smoking, but if she smokes outside and gets her own, then she's not being selfish she's an addict.

I find it selfish that people don't understand the wide area of impact smoking has.

If you stand in the playground smoking, your smoke will blow away from you and people meters away from you find themselves enveloped in the cloud of stinking carcenogenic smoke. Actually this applies anywhere but is especially selfish in playgrounds where most of the people are young children. Also at bus stops where people can't get away from the smoke.

Smoking is vile. Not sure about selfish, just vile.

YABU

I get huffy when I'm stuck behind someone who's smoking and walking. Just because you're outside doesn't mean you can smoke wherever you want.

OP, I think there are two issues here; your mum's smoking, and the behaviour when your mum want's another packet.

Smokers are not selfish per se, I know a smoker who is very careful not to inconvenience us when we are all out for the night, who does not smoke near us, or when visiting our home. Hopefully, when he's ready he will take steps to stop smoking.

Your mum is selfish when she goes into a strop when her husband, who has just got back from a day's work, is then expected to go back out and get her more fags and says "no". The onus is really on her to buy her own fags when she runs out, even if that means a journey to the local shops.

Actually, being outside does mean I can smoke wherever i want. I don't smoke in the house, or in the car or in front or my kids, I cant smoke in a pub, restaurant or anywhere else indoors. I dont have a problem with this, I would rather not subject anyone else to the effects of my filthy addiction, but if I'm having a quiet fag in the street, may I suggest that you overtake me, fall further behind or take some other evasive action.

crowler

It's not illegal to walk down the street with a cigarette.

I never said it was illegal. It's rude to subject someone to smoke in a crowded street. If I can avoid it, I don't care.

Oh right I was just going by what you said earlier

Just because you're outside doesn't mean you can smoke wherever you want.

I am a smoker and yes it is a selfish habit it realy is and yes i would go without for a packet of cigarettes I know I offend people with my smoking and i tend to lurk round corners smoking, and i have had people say when i walk back into wherever i am, what is that disgusting smell and i say well thats me I have just had a cigarette, I am addicted I wish I had never started and have tried loads of way to stop

They are not selfish, they are addicted.

They were stupid to start though, especially those under 30. There has been enough eduction re dangers of smoking over the last few decades.

mrsjay

I like this quote from Stephen Fry...

"It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."

I'm not "offended" by smoking. I just don't want to breathe in the smoke. As long as it's not my husband or my kids, I don't take a moral stand.