I know iabu but just feel this way. christmas present related.

[scottishbelle78]

I am one of 6 children so I have lots of people to buy for. I treat each sibling as a unit ie sis, bil and dc and spend roughly the same on each. Within each unit I tried to spend a similar amount on each person.
Dh has a mum, sister and bil to buy for. He spends more on his mum and sister but less on bil. Although bil also gets gifts from our dc.
His mum and sis are obv buying for more people so I understand they will spend less but they spend significant ly more on dh than they do on me and dc.
I know it is there choice but I just feel that it is fairer to treat everyone equally. It is the way my family always do it especially my late mum who didn't spend vast amounts but always treated everyone equally.
So probably not aibu as I know I am but more interested in how other families do it.

It's her son , of course she's going to spend more on him than on you.

My DP's mum got him a £700 guitar one year. I got some £10 PJ's (which I loved!) I was just happy to receive anything because she's under no obligation to buy me anything.

I am on disability benefits alenci I would love to have some luxury items bought for me, I don't have extravagant tastes, but nice things would never go amiss

You're so right there Baubles There is more than just the Christmas gift, all my life I have known that my brother is the Golden Child, the favoured one, I won't go into all the details here, but I've had long term therapy due partly to my mother's treatment of me.

Sorry alemci

not alenci

Ahhh yet more people more focussed on the price of pressies than the value.

But because I'm the poor single parent on disability benefits I must have useful, practical stuff

Not quite as bad as your loo rolls story but when my DM was alive she sorted DB and myself out with toiletries and underwear for the best part of a year! I never had to buy tights or shampoo!

However, DHs godmother visits with some bizarre offerings - I just wish she would bring 12 loo rolls and be useful. I think I could get excited over loo rolls!!!

And I do carry on my DMs tradition, teens get half a years worth of lynx, shower gel, shampoo, underpants, socks, pyjamas as part of their Christmas presents. Sad, but it's a fact of life that money isnt limitless and will be spent on necessities

No, not at all IceBeing

But would you enjoy a bag of toilet rolls for Christmas?

As I said earlier, I'd love a 20p book from a charity shop, even if my brother does get a kilt costing £1000.

Oh golden sorry I was referring to the OP not you at all.

bog rolls for xmas? give me strength!

I've read about this mother buying toilet rolls and have been really shocked, but am now wondering why you don't buy her some in return?

She buys you toilet rolls and tells you to give her money? Don't you think it's time you showed her what it's like to get things like that for Christmas?

I'm one of 4. There are 10 grandchildren. My siblings barely acknowledge me or my children. I used to buy for everyone and never got anything back. So stopped.

I buy a token gift for dh's nephews and I buy for dd's godparent's children.

It's toilet rolls every year Bohemian

Afraid I can't get excited about it, I'd rather get nothing at all,

I do get what you are saying about tight budgets, believe me, my budget is tighter than tight, my DC get PJs every year as part of their gift, but never shampoo and stuff like that, it just wouldn't sit right with me.

Sorry Ice

Wires crossed!

Imperial It's taken me a lot of therapy to get to the point where I can just give her £10 and say that's all I can afford, but maybe in future I can give her a bag of loo rolls and see what happens!

golden get your children to make her something attractive with the empty toilet rolls

Would look quite nice spray painted gold

Rufus then put it in a box and wrap it up in loo roll

Why are so many people missing in this thread that the MIL spends more on her son than on his children???

Who does that? If my parents spent more on me than on my kids (their GC) I'd be livid!

People need to read the OP properly.

Well I think that's really strange, and am stunned more of the replies don't think it strange too.
Our Christmas presents to MiL, siblings, SiLs, etc., all come from us as a family unit, and therefore we spend approx the same amount on each person. My PiL also spend approx the same on me as they do dh, and my siblings spend the same on dh as they do on me.
Can't get my head around treating any one member of the wider family less favourably than others.

Ha Ha!

Two excellent ideas there for Things To Make With Loo Rolls

Oh how I would love to see her face if presented with that!

She did stick some stuff on old CDs one year and give me that as part of my Christmas present (for decoration) so I'd only be returning the favour

Because I don't think the amount spent matters.

Its the gift. My mum has spent more on me than my son. He has plenty of gifts to open from her including a tablet.

Why should I be annoyed that my mum dare not spend the same on us both?

People need to read the OP properly

I did, I took issue with the OP thinking that she herself should get the same.

And anyway its the MIL's decision if she wants to spend more on her own child. Just because he's an adult doesn't make him any less to her.

Well, I'm my Mum's own child and I would take issue with her spending more on me than my kids, but it would never happen because we're obviously 'normal'

Thank you for replies. Just add my brother has moved house this year so I told him not to buy for me and dh. I have no problem with not receiving a gift or a smaller gift but I guess I just likr things to be fair. I suppose mil calling me and bik a hanger on when looking at a family photo didn't help and is clouding my judge5. I also really miss my mum at christmas.

Yes but your mum isn't your MIL is she. There's a difference surely?

And really is it all about the cost? You could get children a ton of gifts for £100, and one present for the son for £300. Is that still wrong?

I don't get why people are bothered about what people spend on them.

My son will have a shit ton of gifts of my mum but looking at receipts more has been spent on me.

Should I be annoyed? Should I demand she spends more to make it even?

I know exactly what I'm getting bar one present. I know how much she has spent and I am very grateful and I am very grateful she has spent so much on my son.

I'm with sp

But... but...

Say you have a 5 year old. Your mum wants to buy you a bottle of perfume (say £50) and your daughter a doll (say £20.)

What the hell is wrong with that? Your 5 year old would have loads of presents from you. You may have presents from a partner (though some of the partners on here don't seem to give them) - why shouldn't your mum buy you something nice that, because it's for an adult, costs more than a gift for your child?

O and I actually brought things for my sister who is on benefits to give to me and dc. And guess what I spent the same on dh as me but will spend more on dc.