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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

is it me or ungrateful p?

69 replies

GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 22:36

So, for xmas as a surprise I bought my partner a new smartphone which was expensive, but ive been saving all year so it was ok. I felt pretty good about. It so happens his existing phone broke this week and he was going to get a new one. I had to tell him not to and so admitted id ordered him a new phone. He was very pleased.
New phone arrived today so he asked me to charge it, so he could use it when he got in. He came home completely shitfaced said I shouldnt have bought it and return it. Obviously cant as ive opened the box. He kept up the pretence it was too expensive for all of 5 mins before admitting its the wrong phone. I feel like a complete twat, I was just doing a nice thing. He also thinks I spent that much so hed buy me a ring. Im 5 months pregnant with a very expensive paperweight and I feel really bad. Where did I go wrong?

OP posts:
startwig1982 · 13/12/2013 22:38

It's the wrong phone in terms of what?

GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 22:40

In terms of its a samsung s4 and I presume he wants an iphone. He had expressed interest in this phone so how was I to know? Hes known all week id bought one and at no point said he hoped it wasnt a samsung. I would have returned it had he not asked me to charge the bastard thing.

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SpecialAgentFreyPie · 13/12/2013 22:40

He's being a brat, he wants a different model so is trying to make it about money so it's 'your fault.'

startwig1982 · 13/12/2013 22:41

He's being an ungrateful idiot in that case. Can you keep it for yourself?

Mrswellyboot · 13/12/2013 22:43

:(

How were you to know. I'd be tempted to keep the phone to treat yourself and get him nothing.

Not ppt he best solution but he was mean to say like he did.

lessonsintightropes · 13/12/2013 22:43

Brat; you can't return it, and what you've bought him is great. YANBU.

Pollydingdonmerrilyonhigh · 13/12/2013 22:43

What a twat !

GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 22:45

I dont really need it, its more hes really hurt my feelings. I feel really stupid like its somehow my fault I didnt get the right surprise. Plus I never buy people things to get stuff back. I dont know what to do really, I cant even be in the same room as him.

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DoingItForMyself · 13/12/2013 22:46

"Where did I go wrong?" I would say when you bothered using your hard earned cash to buy this ungrateful twat an expensive present.

It may not be the one he would have bought himself, but then he didn't buy it himself. There are ways to politely and graciously express this, he has just been rude.

Keep the phone for yourself and suggest that he buys his own present to make sure he gets exactly what he wants.

Corygal · 13/12/2013 22:47

Ungrateful brute. And a bloody cheek implying you were blackmailing him for a ring. Even if you were, that's rude.

DoingItForMyself · 13/12/2013 22:49

At least it's a good time to eBay it or sell it on FB. Plenty of people willing to pay decent money for a new phone.

As for him, he needs to properly apologise for being a brat otherwise I'd be spending my life Christmas without him.

GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 22:49

I suppose I should be glad this is all out of the way today so ds wouldnt see it all on actual xmas. Small mercies. Ho ho fucking ho.

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GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 22:51

Thanks for all the support though, I did have a little while of thinking id done something wrong. Im beset with self doubt.

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Bunnyjo · 13/12/2013 22:58

He's an ungrateful dick.

I would either keep the phone for yourself (I have an S4 and it's fantastic, much better than any iPhone I've had).

As for your 'D'P. Unless he seriously apologises for his ungrateful attitude and the insinuations that you did this for a 'ring', I'd make it my New Years resolution to LTB!

notmyproblem · 13/12/2013 23:00

Friday night must be twat partner night on MN Sad

Between this and the thread of the woman who can't open her locked back door and thus can't get out of her house unless her DH unlocks it for her, I'm just Sad and Angry for all you nice women who ended up with manchildren/fuckwads/control freaks/arseholes.

GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 23:03

Well tbh this sort of thing does make me feel a bit like that. We have been together nearly 11 years and I have given up on a ring/getting married. We were supposed to be going shopping to choose a present tommorow and now I feel like this is why he did all this. Having a three year old and being pregnant is making me feel vulnetable and tearful tbh. What a mess!

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PumpkinPositive · 13/12/2013 23:11

He also thinks I spent that much so hed buy me a ring.

Shock Yes, I can certainly see what a catch he is - he must have women "tricking" him into proposing in every port.

Seriously, take phone back, flog it on eBay, and then use the proceeds to book yourself in for a nice relaxing spa day far, far away from him.

ZillionChocolate · 13/12/2013 23:12

He's being very rude and childish. At most, I'd get a sad face from DH if I got him the wrong thing.

xCupidStuntx · 13/12/2013 23:17

Oh how nasty of him!! I hope you're OK OP!!

GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 23:19

Im sleeping on the couch, as hes pissed and snoring and irritating. I have to visit my family tommorow and pretend im happy and actually im not even a little bit.

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Topseyt · 13/12/2013 23:20

He sounds like an ungrateful twat who never grew out of toddlerhood.

You did nothing wrong. He did. I think it sounds like a lovely, thoughtful present, though in your shoes I would now be considering shoving it up his arse and then sending him packing.

GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 23:23

At least its a unanimous not unreasonable. I suppose I will try and sell it.

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43percentburnt · 13/12/2013 23:37

Yanbu at all. Very ungrateful, rude and bratty. My husband agrees. Sell the phone and put all of the money in a savings account for yourself.

AdmiralData · 13/12/2013 23:38

What. A. Cunt.
Make sure he learns not to be a wanker in future.
Focus all your time and money on you OP x

GeraldineFangedVagine · 13/12/2013 23:39

I cant even imagine how I will have a civil conversation about this. Its going to be a big 'thing' now. Jesus. Thanks all, v grateful for the understanding.

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