To not be asked for the works xmas lunch.

[workwoe]

I am studying (mature student) and have to do a work placement. I have been there for 6 months and thought I had settled in well. I always do above what I am asked and have always if I have free time do extra hours all totally voluntary.

Today I was asked by some of the staff am I looking forward to my xmas lunch, I did not know what they were talking about, turns out they are just going to the local pub for a meal. I would have loved to come rather than walking round the shops for my lunch. When I went to lunch my mentor said you have been working fab lately you can take an extra 30 mins for lunch.

There are other students that I know are going, my mentor is known for her forgetfulness, and we get on well.

I'm just a little bit upset that I was not asked. AIBU

I absolutely hate it when there's this assumption that everyone knows about something. I'll bet you any money you like it's not deliberate exclusion, just epic failure to ensure you realised it was a whole department thing with no specific invitation. Your mentor deserves a kicking for thoughtlessness.

Oh how tricky. I'm desperate to get out of mine! I would email the mentor and say you hate to be rude but could you come to the Christmas lunch as you would like to spend more time with the team etc. She will likely reply that of course you are invited etc.

Oh how tricky. I'm desperate to get out of mine! I would email the mentor and say you hate to be rude but could you come to the Christmas lunch as you would like to spend more time with the team etc. She will likely reply that of course you are invited etc.

Oh how tricky. I'm desperate to get out of mine! I would email the mentor and say you hate to be rude but could you come to the Christmas lunch as you would like to spend more time with the team etc. She will likely reply that of course you are invited etc.

What a shame. I can only hope its not an intentional missing you out.
Just ask. Hopefully mentor will be apologetic and embarrassed. Go and have a good time.

I love Works Christmas parties.
Ours is next Friday night. Can't wait.

Its happening now, I think I would feel too embarrassed to mention it. Just play it by ear when I go back.

Well why did the mentor say take an extra half hour then, without mentioning it? Surely that was exclusionary

Ah that is not nice workwoe

Maybe she thinks it's for perm staff only and when gets there will realise that others are there who aren't perm

Take your extra 30 mins get to the shops and buy something fabulous

Oh so sorry Workwoe. When I worked four days a week I was always being missed off invitations and Friday pub things.

I just seem to be one of those people who is at the tail end of everything. I've learnt that you have to push yourself forward a little bit.

Can you grab a quick sandwich and head there for a drink while they are finishing up?

If not then ask a few colleagues to the pub next week for an end of year drink one lunch time.

Buy yourself a nice mince pie for tea break. x

That sounds mean. Why would the mentor say to take extra time for lunch if you were expected at the party. So hurtful.

Oh dear, that's a shame you have missed out. Are people paying for their own lunch? Could there be an assumption that as you are a placement student you might have found it a bit expensive?

Although you have missed out on the lunch I think you should take the opportunity to have a word with your mentor, say something like 'I felt a bit embarrassed as I didn't know if I was invited or not?' And just see what she says. Treat it as a learning experience for being a little more assertive in the work place.

Am delighted I no longer have to go to works' parties

hopefully its a mistake but I'd be annoyed to.

I've been at my job for 2 years, been on maternity since June and I haven't been invited to the Xmas do was really gutted

We get on reasonably well, another department recently approached to see if I wanted to continue there, my mentor really fought to keep me, telling me she could not cope without me. She really has a very poor memory and I constantly have to remind her of things. I am just hoping she forgot and then was too embarrased to mention it.

YANBU especially if other students have been invited.

I would just go.
But then, that's my nature.

Yes it is still going round and round in my head so I think I am going to have to mention it.

No money is not an issue, and other students are attending. Glad its not just me who would be upset. Yes I must be more assertive.

Yes they were paying for their own, but was discounted so it was a fiver.

Something similar happened to me,. I was a temp and had been there for a while and no one bothered to ask me to the Christmas lunch. I know this was intentional because I was always felt like an outsider there and was never any attempt made to include me in anything. I only found out when another member of staff, the only who was ever nice to me actually, asked me why I wasn't coming and kicked up a fuss about me not being asked.

I did go for her sake but didn't enjoy it at all, but then I didn't really like 99% of people I worked with!

However if you get on well with your colleagues then I'd imagine this probably was a genuine mistake. If it's in a pub then there's no reason why you couldn't have gone along as well, I doubt you'd have needed to book in advance.

Do say something - she will hopefully be mortified. She needs to know this is not on, even if she is just forgetful. There should be an email sent round or a notice up in the canteen or something so everybody knows. It does sound like you are well thought of so I wouldn't think it's malicious or personal. But even if they justr needed someone to mind the phones or whatever and you drew the short straw they shouldn't have left you wondering

Did she say you could take extra time because she assumed you were going to the meal and she expected the others going would all be late back? Or did she realise you were not invited and felt a bit guilty and decided to give you extra time to make herself feel better? It is not really clear if she knows that you have not been invited.

Either way it is a horrible situation, I was once left out of a retirement party. One colleague found out I was not going , and took it upon herself to go and sort out what she perceived as an oversight on the party givers part. I begged her not to, but she went off saying 'I am sure he meant to invite you, leave it with me!' , only to come back a few minutes later, really apologetic, saying no, he really did not invite you after all. It was all really humiliating. I hope you had a really good mooch around the shops anyway, don't let it get to you!

I assume it was today then, the meal? Was going to say if it's not for a few days you can still get yourself added. But YANBU to be upset about this, I can't see any reason why they would deliberately leave you out. I'd def mention if to my mentor.

Stanley that's a similar situation to what happened to me years ago. A colleague was having one of those make up parties where you buy stuff in her home and invited everyone except me. The manager thought it was unfair and made a point of asking why I'd not been asked and if I could go as well, bare in mind that the host gets a sort of commission from what they sell so the more the merrier, and she got told that colleague had assumed that I wouldn't be interested and there would be no room for me me now anyway because her front room was so small....?

Some people are just thoughtless arseholes. I'd never deliberately leave someone out, and if I ever did by mistake I'd be more mortified.

Oh poor you. That is not on.

It's unclear if this is a work do, or a group of friends who happen to work together having lunch. Do you know, OP?
And as to people being excluded, are you all 6? People aren't obliged to invite you to anything. Doesn't make anyone a bad person, just means you're not friends.

Nah Gobby you don't leave one person out, regardless of age.