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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect that if you're a single person out with a couple, that every person buys a round of drinks?

115 replies

pimplywrinkle · 11/12/2013 08:20

...instead of the couple acting as a joint turn together. This couple live together and pool their budget/money and so I expect they think the cost of a turn comes out of a single bank account. Just seems a little unfair really when I just have the one wage and am buying the same number of drinks in a round

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 11/12/2013 16:39

Two people drinking. Person A buys first round: two beers, £10. Person B buys second round: one beer, one coke (for herself), £8.

Total drink cost: £18, Person A has paid more than Person B to the total cost of the two rounds.

And yes, Person B has had one less alcoholic drink (or one less "good" drink, or whatever the difference is). Why didn't Person B elect to have this one less alcoholic drink when it was Person A's turn to buy, and buy an alcoholic drink on her own round?

That's why it's tight.

yourcruisedirector · 11/12/2013 17:16

I'm with maid on this one - generally speaking if you are buying in rounds, you should let others but you a cheaper drink and cough up for yourself if you're having some boozy drinks. But it's not so much an issue as a one off, only if you are obviously always buying yourself a soft drink and having them spend more on an alcoholic drink.

Subject to soft drinks actually being cheaper (not always!) and whether you are generally suspected of being a cheapskate or not Grin

Lullabyte · 11/12/2013 17:38

I'm confused by the concept of a kitty (not only am I foreign but I'm currently sleep-deprived due to that baby over there in the corner) - can someone please explain how it works in a pub/bar scenario? When I think of kitties I imagine people going in together for one present (therefore are contributing fairly to the total cost of said present).

BakerStreetSaxRift · 11/12/2013 19:10

The reason it's rude to buy yourself a cheaper drink on your round is that you are paying out less.

If you were happy to have a cheap drink for one/two of the rounds, then the non-tight thing to do is have the cheap drink when someone else is paying, not making them fork out for you to have the more expensive drink.

I had a friend at uni who was awful for rounds. When she was buying, we all got shots, when we were paying, she wanted the fancy cocktail or the double vodka and red-bull, which everyone knows is the £10 drink.

Not friends anymore.

BakerStreetSaxRift · 11/12/2013 19:12

Lullabyte, everyone puts £20 in a kitty and you just keep buying rounds of whatever you want until the money runs out.

MumpiresRedCard · 11/12/2013 19:14

This is interesting. In Ireland there's a misconception that the english don't do rounds and I've always envied them that. Obviously it's one of those stereotypes that is incorrect

I have been in the OP's situation and I just sit tight with my empty glass in front of me. If I have half the money a couple has, I'm not buying twice as many drinks. But........... i do have the balls to bail out of rounds, usually if i arrive with somebody I'd buy them a drink, or if I got a lift there, but otherwise I just look after myself.

MumpiresRedCard · 11/12/2013 19:15

ps, i like the kitty thing. we used to do that at work and it was a good way of extorting blood money out of the stones in the office.

BakerStreetSaxRift · 11/12/2013 19:22

The problem with kitties is that some fucker will buy themselves £10 drinks while everyone else has a £4 drink, so their contribution should only get them 2 drinks, and everyone else is due 5x£4 drinks, but all the money gets used up too quick by the tight-fisted bawbag.

Minefield!

Funny thing is, he one of my friends was genuinely struggling, I'd try and make it so they spent as little as possible, but it's always the ones with loads of money that are the tightest!

whatever5 · 11/12/2013 19:26

I think that if DH and I are with one of his male friends, we have acted as one when buying drinks. I have fewer drinks than DH and his friends though so only have a drink when it is my/DH turn to buy. I don't think that is unreasonable.

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 11/12/2013 19:27

I wouldn't think it fair either, for every 1 drink you get, you are buying 2.

Why not say on future nights out that you will all get your own.

Oldraver · 11/12/2013 19:28

My friends used to do this and it irritated the fuck out of me. Not onyl did they think of themselves as 'one' when it came to buying rounds they thought a taxi should be split 4 ways until anotehr firnd pointed out it should be five.

It seemed even more unfair as they both were wage earners to my one wage

Heathcliff27 · 11/12/2013 19:36

Kittys all the way here too, same amount per person, so £10 from you, £10 from me and £10 from my husband

Original poster
pimplywrinkle · 11/12/2013 19:38

Okay... So next time I shall brazen it out. Anyone any tips about how to say that they should be buying two rounds instead of just the one?

OP posts:
lifesgreatquestions · 11/12/2013 19:45

my oh doesn't drink alcohol but participates in rounds. Personally I'm only able to hold about two drinks so the notion of rounds doesn't suit me. Thankfully this is no longer a part of my evenings out as no one else is looking for more than one or two drinks either!

lifesgreatquestions · 11/12/2013 19:46

I have no tips to offer, could never ask for a drink.

SauvignonBlanche · 11/12/2013 19:48

If anyone is prompted to buy they should feign surprise and say it the other half of the couple's turn.

MunchMunch · 11/12/2013 19:55

Can't stand rounds or going halfies for meals. No-one I know does this either Apart from Df's friend who always tries to do rounds but df refuses, mainly because df is a fast drinker and usually has to not only sit and wait while his mate is finished with his drink (which he makes last longer than he does if df is buying) but until he's finished talking to others they know from the club or is finished his game of snooker.

What's so hard/tight/boring about buying your own? Confused

BakerStreetSaxRift · 11/12/2013 20:43

It's just easier to buy rounds then everyone having to individually queue, get served, or have one person do it then have to work out everyone's correct change. As again, there's always someone who needs ALL their change, down to the correct 10p.

CaterpillarCara · 11/12/2013 20:47

There is nothing hard/tight/boring about buying your own if it is somewhere where it is easy to do. In some places though, you would never actually get to chat if there was always someone off queuing to get a drink.

Trills · 11/12/2013 20:49

I am glad that my friends have similar attitudes to me about this kind of thing.

Then again maybe it's not luck - maybe the people who don't have similar attitudes ended up not feeling so welcome to the group and so didn't keep coming.

Trills · 11/12/2013 20:55

In the cheap/expensive drink scenario:

Person A buys first round: two beers, £10. Person B buys second round: one beer, one coke (for herself), £8.

(a beer is £5 and a coke is £3 in this scenario)

Person A has bought £10 worth of drink, and drunk £10 worth of drink.

Person B has bought £8 worth of drink, and drunk £8 worth of drink.

BackforGood · 11/12/2013 20:57

pimply - you just need to say "Your round I believe" and if they challenge it, explain that you've bought 3 drinks already, so it can't be your turn as you have only consumed 2 drinks. If they try and say something about being a 'couple' then you explain the bit that someone pointed out on P1 one, that if they are only buying once, then they need to only order one drink and share it. It's not rocket science.

BakerStreetSaxRift · 11/12/2013 20:58

Yes but I'm theory you are sharing, so really both should have paid £9.

nkf · 11/12/2013 20:59

I refuse to buy rounds any more. That was the eighties.

Caitlin17 · 11/12/2013 21:07

If you know you're in for a session then a kitty. £10 per person until it runs out and then is topped up per person.

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