To expect that if you're a single person out with a couple, that every person buys a round of drinks?

[pimplywrinkle]

...instead of the couple acting as a joint turn together. This couple live together and pool their budget/money and so I expect they think the cost of a turn comes out of a single bank account. Just seems a little unfair really when I just have the one wage and am buying the same number of drinks in a round

When we go out as a couple we always make sure there is a round bought from each of us, but it will generally be my dh who goes up to buy it both times.

Having said that, I tend not to get into a round situation, it just causes me stress as it gets really expensive!

All couples = each couple buys a round

Mixture of couples and singles = each person buys a round

I don't do rounds because of this and people buying expensive drinks!

Also my dh drives me potty when we go out with our friends for a meal . We're not big drinkers so will stick to soft drinks. The couple we usually go with order bottles of wine, alcaholic drinks, Irish coffees and then dh will end up insisting on splitting the bill 50/50!

YANBU I'm no longer friends with a group of people because of this (and other things) after I split up with my husband. We'd go out and they'd expect me to get a round in for everyone and they'd do the couple thing.

I once shared a taxi with one couple and was asked to pay half even though there was 3 of us in the taxi.

I'd just buy your own if I were you.

We wouldnt buy in rounds, just our own drinks. Tis too expensive otherwise.

My DH drinks very fast. Consequently he finishes his drink before everyone else and he just goes and buys another round. I often tell him not to get me one as I don't like my wine sitting there getting warm. He would never go and buy himself an in betweenie though and if he spots someone else at the bar he will buy them a drink too, or put one in for them. I used to think people took him for a ride with this and certainly there are one or two who have short arms and long pockets, but DH is of the opinion that he'd rather have a drink when he wants one and would rather pay for everyone than be accused of being tight.

However, because of this I often find myself with drinks in front of me because people return the favour and if I go to the bar, there's is often a drink in for me from so and so.

Rounds can be okay, if everyone buys one!
Trouble is quite often people take the p1ss-both ways round!For example I was out with a friend and my DP once not so long ago and he and I would buy two rounds (like one each, so we were being fair!) but he kept going to the bar for her (to be polite) and she never bought a round! Then when we got the the next place we were going she just bought her own! I'm not an assertive person but I did say to her 'can you buy a drink please?!' lol

I don't drink alcohol so I never buy rounds as it's too expensive. Also, agree to not split a food bill 50/50 if others have had booze with their meal.

However, I always make it clear at start so no one under any illusions and spend more than they intend/can afford.

We would I imagine just buy more rounds.

Don't do rounds then.

It's not compulsory.

I have no idea why I'm commenting on a thread about round etiquette. The last time I went out drinking with a group of people was about 1957.

I don't understand why it is wrong for someone to choose a cheaper drink for themselves when it is their own round.

We actually lost friends through me suggesting that, on holiday when there were a big group of us, that families got their own bills. I did this because I have grown up DCs and they could not afford to split bills where people were drinking (a lot) expensive bottles of wine. I also didn't want the other families to be subsidising my DS and his girlfriend. There seemed no fair way of splitting it. One couple really took the hump and we just ened up doing our own thing.

Its offish because its taking advantage of someone else's money in a I can only afford this because your paying way.

This is why I don't go to pubs because I used to like 2 soft drinks or water to every 1 alcoholic one

But if you buy a gin and tonic for me, plus one for yourself, then I buy a gin and tonic for you plus just tonic for me, how is that taking advantage?

[another one who should not be on this thread as I never go to pubs anyway]

But if I joined in the rounds, and just drank tonic every time, while everyone else was on shorts, everyone else would be taking advantage of me, wouldn't they?

Because the cost of the round should be the same for everyone. It's about reciprocating equally and fairly - each time.

Say the round consists of a glass of wine, a pint of beer, a pint of cider and a G&T - those drinks all cost different amounts, but their sum total each time is the same. If you drop out your gin and just buy yourself a tonic, your round costs you less - so essentially you're taking advantage of everyone else buying your gin.

And, yes, don't get involved in rounds if you're drinking soft drinks and the others are drinking alcohol.

My friend gets completely free nights out.

She doesn't drink alcohol so she'll only have 1-2 lemonades through the night. We always just buy them for her as we go to the bar a lot!

However, she ends up the designated driver because she doesn't drink so no one minds paying for her drinks etc

I was going to start a thread about this. I go out weekly with 2 couples. They always buy as a couple, I am alone. So if 3 rounds are bought, I have to buy 5 drinks. It is starting to piss me off, but don't want to sound penny pinching. It's difficult, esp as they consider me to be well off and would think i was being petty. actually our income has decreased recently but they don't know that.
I think I need to start saying I'll just get my own drinks. Don't want to start awkwardness though.

Because you're having two drinks and ensuring that the majority of the total cost is paid by the other party.

I've had this with a particularly dense h of a friend of mine, I got him a water for my second round when they/he refused to purchase the third round

It was friend and I actually meeting up, but he just happened to be there and is a twat and apparently because he was going to be there anyway she didn't need any money herself

I come from an East London family and the rule is simple: always try to pay a bit more than everyone else, and you will be OK! :)

If I am out with my husband and a single friend, we ALWAYS, without exception, buy a round each. To do otherwise would be really tight and in the culture where I'm from, would mean that you were ungenerous in spirit.

Also, if I am out with a friend who I know has less of an income than we do, I make sure it is always us that buys the final 'odd' round. If one of my friends is unemployed or in difficulties, I try all kinds of subtle ways to make sure that they don't pay very much.

I love whisky, but it is very expensive to drink good stuff. Plus, I like doubles :) I ask for wine when it is someone else's round, and only buy whisky when it is my round or my husband's.

However, some degree of reciprocity is important and generosity of spirit is important to me in my friends. I rarely drop friends, but I did stop seeing one who freeloaded off me all the time (he NEVER bought a drink, and was constantly 'borrowing' money that was never returned - he 'needed' £300 for the electricity bill, but could afford to spend £600 on rare vinyl records).

YANBU - at all - but like others I send DH up twice! Maybe someone after a few drinks would think I was skipping my round?

Totally agree with you struggling - I'm from west coast Scotland and we have the same rule, be over generous and then no one will feel hard done by!