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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to pick up ds early everyday?

92 replies

stinkysox · 09/12/2013 18:32

My 1st post on aibu so please be gentle!

Ds attends pre-school, afternoons, 12.15-3.15. It never opens early (usually closer to 12.20) It is attached to an infants and primary so the majority of the parents collect their dcs just after 3 when the older children get out.
I usually get there around 3 but today I didn't arrive until 3.10. As I walked up to the school I heard one of the teachers say 'oh here's mummy, ds' I looked up to see ds at the window wearing his coat & waving.
I got to the door (outside door to reception, there is then another door to classroom) and instead of being let in as normal, ds was ushered out to me with a quick goodbye.
I explained I had fees to pay so they let me in, halfheartedly looked around the office for a few seconds, complete with eye rolls, then said they couldn't find the receipt book and could I pay tomorrow. I said fine, and noticed a few of the staff members already had their coats on ready to leave.
AIBU to think this rude, and that I shouldn't be expected to pick ds up 15 minutes early when I pay for him to be there?

OP posts:
Debs75 · 09/12/2013 18:35

Is he your only dc?
Our nursery finishes at 3.30 as does the nursery. This gives a mad rush with parents getting the older dc's and running back to nursery to get the younger dc's. Our nursery won't let out early. It does sound like your nursery do it the other way around so over time parent's and staff have got used to an earlier home time. It's not right but it's not really wrong either

nennypops · 09/12/2013 18:37

I think it is clearly wrong, if you're paying them to keep him up to 3.15.

DoItTooBabyJesus · 09/12/2013 18:37

YANBU. At all! Talk to them.

Original poster
stinkysox · 09/12/2013 18:40

I have a younger dc. I've no problem with the timings, obviously it's helpful to the parents with older dcs who pick them up at 3. I just don't think we I should be made to feel uncomfortable for turning up at 3.10 as if I'm late.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 09/12/2013 18:41

Quite often staff have other jobs (working in after school care) or their own dc to collect. If everyone is normally out just after 3, then I don't see that there's a problem, as long as there are 2 staff there with any children not collected until 1/4 past. People get used to 'what normally happens'.

Original poster
stinkysox · 09/12/2013 19:08

I appreciate that back my problem was their obvious annoyance at me being 'late' when I was actually still early.

OP posts:
Indith · 09/12/2013 20:00

used to drive me mad when dd was at a preschool like that. Never open on time and when I picked up I was always the last one and kids always had coats on etc ready and had clearly been ready for a while. I felt like I was in the wrong if I picked up on time rather than early.

drove me potty. That and other things meant I moved her elsewhere which was much better. If a child is entitled to their 15 his a week education I'm dammed if I'm going to let my child lose half an hour a day of it with late opening and early closing.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/12/2013 20:11

I wouldn't get there a second before 3.15 if I were you. (,as long as your DC is fine with that!)

Original poster
stinkysox · 09/12/2013 20:27

Tbh I'd love to leave it until 3.15 to pick him up, mainly because I can get a parking space plus me and ds2 don't get trampled all over but I just get made to feel bad. Especially as on the 3 occasions I've dared to turn up after 3 ds has been the last one there. Doesn't bother him in the slightest though, he loves it there Smile
It's mainly the disapproval from the staff making me uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Original poster
stinkysox · 09/12/2013 20:29

Indith I do have another problem with the school other than this, but they're outweighed by the good points really. It's a lovely little school which ds adores. Shame really.

OP posts:
JoinYourPlayfellows · 09/12/2013 20:30

Don't feel uncomfortable.

They are being twats.

Original poster
stinkysox · 09/12/2013 20:34

Will see how I feel tomorrow, hopefully I'll have the balls to roll up at 3.15 without apologising Grin

OP posts:
Parliamo · 09/12/2013 20:34

Why are you paying? Don't you get the 15 hours funding?

Pancakeflipper · 09/12/2013 20:36

Could it just have been a 1 off - they were all dashing off for Christmas party ???

Original poster
stinkysox · 09/12/2013 20:39

Parliamo Ds just turned 3, funding starts in Jan. Pancake today was the 3rd time I was 'late', same reactions each time.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 09/12/2013 20:42

I would ask them what their hours are then, they might need reminding!

Ragusa · 09/12/2013 20:42

Ignore them; they are being discourteous to you and especially to your child as he will have noticed that the teachers all have their coats on and he is the last one there. They should notbe making him feel like he has been left behind!

Original poster
stinkysox · 09/12/2013 20:50

I did mention it last time, when I saw ds was the last child & sat with his coat on (parents usually collect coats on the way out) I said something along the lines of 'sorry am I late? I thought it was until 3.15' they replied 'oh, it is until 3.15 but most parents come at 3 because of their older children'.

OP posts:
Parliamo · 09/12/2013 21:01

I don't actually know why it matters who is paying, not sure why I felt the need to ask that! I was just puzzling it through, I guess.

I usually try to find a charitable explanation for these sorts of situations because it is easy for misunderstandings to arise. But it sounds a bit slack though, and to me suggests the management is not exactly professional. Is there anything else you are not happy about?

You have a few options- accept with a shrug that it is not ideal but in the grand scheme of things not a biggie, or be direct and bring it up with someone, or move. Shrugger, fighter or huffer?

Or you could inwardly rage and then rant on mnet. But it might be better to avoid raging, it's not good for your peace of mind.

Parliamo · 09/12/2013 21:03

X post! And my last post could do with a Smile

teacherlikesapples · 09/12/2013 21:08

I would complain about this- it is not fair to you or your child. Ask them how this is supporting his personal, social & emotional development (they are required by the EYFS to plan & support this as a high priority!!)

By clock watching & making him feel like he is always last, he is not only missing out on important play & learning, he is being made to think poorly of you and himself. It is completely unacceptable and there is no excuse for it.

If the session is until 3.15pm staff certainly shouldn't be packed up and ready to leave before this time.

popperdoodles · 09/12/2013 21:09

In my preschool we always get the last few children ready with their coats etc. we see it as being helpful. I hope parents don't think we are pushing them out the door, it is never our intention. just trying to be helpful

Original poster
stinkysox · 09/12/2013 21:10

You're completely right Parliamo I really need to man up or shut up Grin
There is another thing, I posted about it on chat a few weeks ago. They have informed me they would put ds down for the full 15 hours from Jan 'in case I change my mind'. I had told them he would only be doing 9 hours. I was told that I would have to sign to confirm his hours but I suspect they will ask me to say he's doing the 15.

OP posts:
Original poster
stinkysox · 09/12/2013 21:13

popper I'm sure they don't. Unless you also do the eye roll and practically push dcs out of the door wearing your own coat! Grin

OP posts:
RedPencils · 09/12/2013 21:13

I'd be sitting in the car till 3.14 if I got that kind of response.
I'm an awkward cow though.