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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my Mum to look after the dog?

119 replies

ICameOnTheJitney · 09/12/2013 13:15

She's my brothers dog. My brother is in hospital awaiting some surgery but he's fine...the dog is an unneutered female greyhound....18 months old. I have two DC and a cat!

I have had the dog for ten days now...I keep her in the sitting room and garden whilst my lazy cat lives upstairs as usual. However, my cat has to come down twice a day to eat and say hello...this is his habit.

So I keep the sitting room door shut at all times...to avoid them meeting. This results in two stressed out DC...they're 5 and 9 and can't exit and enter freely....and the dog wants to be nxt to me all day naturally as she is insecure....so when she can't follow me into the kitchen she whines and howls.

She barks all night so someone sleeps downstairs near her.

She has been in heat...and my sofa has had to be covered in towels as she leaks....she wont' go in her basket...and once you leave the room she jumps on the sofa.

My Mum works part time, two hours each morning and has a three bed house...with garden and she is avoiding taking her turn with the dog. SHe claims "I won't be able to get any sleep" and "I wont be strong enough to hold her when she tries to follow me out of the house in the morning"

Well I am sick of the dog now. I have done my best...there's no money for kennels....AIBU to tell mum "You'll HAVE to have her on Thursay as I can't anymore."

She will likely only have her for about 4 days as my brother should be out on Monday anyway!

OP posts:
DidoTheDodo · 09/12/2013 13:38

Err...when you have children you sign up to look after their pets? I am assuming your brother is an adult?

MoreThanChristmasCrackers · 09/12/2013 13:38

No your dm shouldn't have to have the dog if she doesn't want to and neither should you. Wild horses wouldn't get me to agree to a dog in my house, it is neither your nor your mums responsibility.
Sorry your db is ill, but it is his dog and his responsibility.
In answer to your question, YADBVVVVU.

Original poster
ICameOnTheJitney · 09/12/2013 13:38

Wonderland nope. I've done enough. I won't "suck" anything up thanks. Ten days is plenty and she needs to take her turn now.

OP posts:
Original poster
ICameOnTheJitney · 09/12/2013 13:39

And if she won't then I will be taking her to the rescue myself.

OP posts:
notanotherusername1 · 09/12/2013 13:39

Perhaps the neighbour might help out. Is it worth asking him, it has to be worth a quick word.

Hope something can get sorted out. What a situation to be in.

Come on Mum, just help out.

D0oinMeCleanin · 09/12/2013 13:40

Oh dear, you're really struggling with this dog aren't you? Bless you.

Did she see a vet re possible pyo?

Where did your brother get her from?

Who is paying for her?

Where in the country are you?

How long would she need care for?

Have you tried contacting Cinnamon Trust?

Sorry for the 10 million questions, but the more info we have the more able we will be to offer suggestions.

DidoTheDodo · 09/12/2013 13:40

Why not put the dog into kennels and perhaps you and your mother could share the cost if your brother can't afford it. Call it his Christmas present if you like.

D0oinMeCleanin · 09/12/2013 13:41

Dido, not many kennels would take a bitch in season.

greenhill · 09/12/2013 13:41

Can you get your DB to get the poor dog neutered once he is out of hospital? If he can't afford it, he can't afford to keep the dog. He needs to get insurance for it and rethink his priorities.

I can understand your DM not wanting to go through what you have gone through, but you volunteered out of kindness and it has been taken advantage of.

bundaberg · 09/12/2013 13:42

it's not the bloody OP's responsibility either though!!!

she did a kind thing and now she needs to stop. what's more she is perfectly entitled to stop without people trying to guilt trip her!

so her options are either getting her mother to help out, or putting the dog in rescue/pound/whatever.

it sounds, to me, as though the OP had reason to believe her Mum would take the dog for some of the time, so if that's the case and her mum has now changed her mind then that's not fair

Original poster
ICameOnTheJitney · 09/12/2013 13:42

*Dooin" yes we took her to the vets, I paid. No it's not pyro...she just smells bad because of her heat.

I have bought her food and I take her for a walk. I am done with it now.

OP posts:
notanotherusername1 · 09/12/2013 13:43

Yes the Cinnamon Trust...could not think of the name.

It's worth a phone call, they should hopefully help.

RedLondonBus · 09/12/2013 13:43

Hold on... You volunteered to have the dog, your mum didn't

So it's up to you to care for it. You said you'd have it when nobody else did

And as for the smell in your home, you have a CAT LITTER tray in your bathroom!???! Dear god!

livinginawinterwonderland · 09/12/2013 13:44

But she doesn't need to take her turn. She's under no obligation to look after her son's dog. I wouldn't want a random dog in my house (and I love dogs). It's unfortunate that you're struggling, but that doesn't mean your mum has to take over if she doesn't want to.

Original poster
ICameOnTheJitney · 09/12/2013 13:44

Bunda that's it. She never said "No" when I said "You could take her next week"

Well it's next week now and tbh I could frigging cry every time I wake up and find her on the sofa dripping blood all over my towels.

OP posts:
D0oinMeCleanin · 09/12/2013 13:45

Okay, so if any rescue offered to help out they'd be footing the bill? That's going to make it harder to find temp care for her. Cinnamon Trust should be your first port of call.

In all likelihood most rescues will be reluctant to help, if they are expected to pay for her and then hand her back, especially as it seems your brother cannot afford her. Is this her first season? Will she be spayed in 3 months time?

Original poster
ICameOnTheJitney · 09/12/2013 13:46

Red where would YOU keep a litter tray?? In the kitchen? I have a clean rescue Siamese who uses it regulalry. BEtter than him shitting in your garden no? It's emptied daily.

I did volunteer but not for this long. And family should support one another...she's not doingher bit and it would be FAR easier for her alone in a house!

OP posts:
Original poster
ICameOnTheJitney · 09/12/2013 13:47

Doin I think it's her second season. I have no frigging idea when she will be spayed. She[s not my dog.

OP posts:
AnAdventureInCakeAndWine · 09/12/2013 13:47

I wouldn't take responsibility for an un-neutered dog no matter how many times I'd given birth to its owner. But I wouldn't have done it for a sibling either.

On a practical note, generally there are local people who will short-term foster a dog if the owner is temporarily indisposed -- if you call round the local rescues they may know of people, or you could ask on Facebook (there is one group in particular I know often helps out with that kind of thing but I'm locked out of FB this afternoon and can't remember the details).

D0oinMeCleanin · 09/12/2013 13:50

She really should have been done after her first season, please don't take my questions personally, it's not a dig at you, I'm just trying to get some more info, in order to offer some more suggestions. I know she is not your dog and that you have done your best.

Can your brother afford this dog? Do you think she might be better off going to rescue with a view to finding her a permanent home, rather than temp care?

jacks365 · 09/12/2013 13:50

I agree op that this isn't your responsibility either. If your mum refuses as is her right and you won't ask your brother to find someone then your only option is to hand her over to a rescue centre.

Original poster
ICameOnTheJitney · 09/12/2013 13:52

Cakeandwine I did call round rescues and they were all unhelpful.

Doin no he can;t afford her obviously but he would be devestatyed to lose her.

Jack I CANT ask my brother. He's very ill. I'd be fucking evil to do that! He is INCAPABLE

OP posts:
Morgause · 09/12/2013 13:53

Just tell her it's going to a dog home if she doesn't have it. If she still refuses take it to a rescue place.

She's a lot older than you and may well be less able to cope.

Original poster
ICameOnTheJitney · 09/12/2013 13:54

Morg I am going to do that. She's older than me but she/s fit. THe dog is a good dog in general. She's not snappy or naughty; she steals food and whines and howls but that's it. She's not a biter or a puller.

OP posts:
RedLondonBus · 09/12/2013 13:55

In your first post you say your brother is fine and should be out on Monday