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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take ds1 out of school for a day?

19 replies

missmash · 09/12/2013 06:41

My Mum and Dad are coming to my city on Wednesday for the day, I'd always intended on taking DS2(2) with me and not telling DS1(6) as he would be really upset at not seeing his DGP's.

But I've just thought, would it be so bad to take him out of school for the day so he gets to see them? It's only with this new school rule about absence that makes me stop to think, I don't think 1 day off at this age is so bad is it?!

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 09/12/2013 06:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ballstoit · 09/12/2013 06:53

YANBU. I'd have a strategic illness, but you may choose to be honest and risk the fine

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 09/12/2013 07:02

I think your DS might be brewing a temperature and you wouldn't want him to be in school that day.

Seriously, I know people will be along to tell you how you will irreparably damage your child's education forever, but it won't mean he fails all his a levels by having one day off if he normally has good attendance.

I kept my son off the day his dad went to and the day after his dad came back from Afghanistan each time (and he's been four times!), which the school authorised as special circumstances, and my work (school- I'm a teacher) also gave me the paid time off. Different situation, but what I'm getting at is that we both otherwise are there every day so it isn't the en of the world if you are talking about one or two days in a year.

It's not something I would make a habit of, but if he has had otherwise had good attendance, keep him off and let him see his GP. If he's been off sick a lot, then sorry but he needs to go to school.

EdithWeston · 09/12/2013 07:03

The "new" rule only abolished the provision author family holidays.

Other absences could be authorised in special circumstances, and still can. Do you think the school would agree that this is an exceptional set of circumstances?

It's not right to pull a sickie (irrespective of age).

ZillionChocolate · 09/12/2013 07:04

If you lie about illness, isn't there a risk he'll let it slip at school? Do you want to encourage your son to lie to his teacher/friends?

froubylou · 09/12/2013 07:08

Simple solution.

Get up for school as normal. Feel ds head. Declare him a bit warm. Phone school. Tell them he is a bit warm. Normally you would send him and collect early if necessary. However due to the fact your dps are visiting from out of town you can't guarantee where you will be if or when the call came.

Ds has a lovely day and can tell his friends.

It's either that or tell the truth I think.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/12/2013 07:12

Oh take him with you :) I agree with above poster. Make out he feels a bit warm. Enjoy your family day!!

Sirzy · 09/12/2013 07:12

How often does he get to see them normally?

Original poster

missmash · 09/12/2013 08:08

Thank you for all your lovely advice! He has very good attendance, only has 1 &1/2 day absence this term so not to bad there.
He hasn't seen them since August and won't see them til Feb half term so am really thinking of taking him.
Don't want to lie about illness but think I'll call with some vague symptoms on the morning, also pretty sure he won't spill the beans, he just won't say anything--I think!!!

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 09/12/2013 08:17

" Do you think the school would agree that this is an exceptional set of circumstances?"

No. Having read other threads on here I think nothing short of a bereavement of a close family member will allow the day off to be authorised. Don't blame the school, blame the system.

Sirzy · 09/12/2013 08:21

I would phone them and tell the truth. If they want to make it unauthorised fine it is their attendance records which will look bad!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 09/12/2013 08:26

Do not fake illness!! Just do not. Please be honest. You're teaching children that it's ok to lie, which it isn't. It makes me mad when I ask a child if they're better now, after a day or so off, and they say they're fine and went to Legoland or somewhere. Or even worse, they try to lie back. Little children can't lie.

Give him the day off but just explain why. Or even better, get a holiday request form today and do it all above board. I don't think one day's hol would warrant a fine.

soverylucky · 09/12/2013 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 09/12/2013 08:31

I'd do the "warm head, so I'll keep him off just in case". He's 6, he won't know if his head is warm or not. I do think education is important, as is learning that sometimes we have to go to work/school when we don't want to, but every now and then, rules are made to be broken when you're only 6.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 09/12/2013 11:23

Warm head just in case? Confuse the hell out of the boy, why don't you?

I don't know quite why I feel so passionately about this, but I do! Why lie when you could just tell the truth? He will go in on Thursday and say he had a lovely day with his grandparents and the teacher will know you lied.

TheMuppetsSingChristmas · 09/12/2013 11:44

Why lie? Because the system pushes people into it, that's why. There will be no damage to the education of a bright child from an involved family due to one single day out in the year. And my school's teacher's tend to agree with this too, yet the system says that not only will the schools figures be damaged (which I couldn't care less about), it makes the teachers duty bound to do the whole 'you'll damage him irrepairably and will be fine thousands' spiel. It's bollocks, frankly.

notanotherusername1 · 09/12/2013 11:54

Loving the warm head comments.

Take him.

I am trying to work out in my mind what I would do. I am always nervous about faking illness in case it comes true but a warm head on the day would be passable. Thing is he is bound to talk about the visit so if you think the school Head would be agreeable and is a reasonable person then have a word and get permission.

Hope you have a happy day whatever you plan on saying. Some things in life are just a tad more important than school. It's only a day.

mrsjay · 09/12/2013 12:05

I would tell the truth for something like that just tell the school that gp are here for a short time and wont be back for MONTHS or do the he is a bi t warm thing so dont actually say he is ill

JohnnyUtah · 09/12/2013 12:23

If you do the warm head thing then start the night before and involve the thermometer. He's six, he won't be hard to fool! Then he doesn't have to lie. But I wouldn't. He's at school and that means he doesn't get to see family during school time. They can send him a present or a photo or something.

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