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AIBU?

To be honest with my 2 year old from the beginning that Father Christmas/Santa isnt real

135 replies

OHforDUCKSchristmascake · 08/12/2013 20:25

My 6 year old asked today if it was the parents that put the presents under the tree because two people in his class had said so. I was trying to tread carefully, and thought he was asking if Father Christmas wasnt real.

I actually said the words 'not real' and he looked shocked and blank and told me he didnt understand what I was saying.

Turns out, he still believed in F.C, just that it was the parents that put the presents down because surely F.C doesnt have a sack big enough.

I know he is going to find out this or next year that the whole thing is a big fat lie and I dont like it. Its seemed worth it at the start but seeing his big wide worried eyes when I dared suggest that FC wasnt real made me feel pretty bad for him.

Im considering not going along with all the santa lies with my 2 year old, because he can just enjoy Christmas for what it is and have no nasty surprises on the way.

Is anyone here just honest with their kids from the start?

OP posts:

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MyMILisfromHELL · 08/12/2013 21:56

OHfor if anyone needs to chill out it's you. Here's a grip for you, now go it.

II I hear you. Some parents have very poor emotional intelligence.

CailinDana · 08/12/2013 21:56

I don't get the comparison to religion. Surely religious people genuinely believe their god(s) are real? Whereas santa is purely fictional and adults know that for certain?

MyMILisfromHELL · 08/12/2013 21:57

Go get it go now, get some perspective.

MyMILisfromHELL · 08/12/2013 21:58

Oh & I'd rather be a plonker than dull as fuck!

OutragedFromLeeds · 08/12/2013 22:00

Cailin if 'if that's what you believe, ok' is off the table for you, how are you going to teach your DC about different religions, cultures, ideas etc? 'Everyone can believe what they like', is the basis of tolerance, there's no reason that should 'drive you nuts'.

CailinDana · 08/12/2013 22:01

I also don't get why some parents who do want their children to believe in santa get so angry about parents who don't.

lilyaldrin · 08/12/2013 22:02

Grown-ups don't believe in Santa, children do - that's fine as an answer isn't it

WorraLiberty · 08/12/2013 22:03

Only on Mumsnet could this subject be such a big deal

Generations of children have managed to grow up without trauma, to appreciate their parents for keeping up a 'magical' myth and tradition for a bit of fun.

I know no adults who carry round bitterness and anger because their parents told them a 'big fat lie' about Santa and the tooth fairy.

But then again like I always say...there's Mumsnet and then there's real life

OHforDUCKSchristmascake · 08/12/2013 22:03

Arent you just the most adorable thing Milfromhell?

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SanityClause · 08/12/2013 22:04

I do object to the "you won't get presents if you aren't good" bit, though.

FC always brought stocking presents (my youngest DC is nearly 10, and this is the first year that it will be us, not FC) but we never told our DC they had to deserve them.

I hate the idea of FC spying on children to make them behave nicely.

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking · 08/12/2013 22:04

He has asked me before. I said "I don't because I'm a grown up". He thinks Santa is just for children which he is.

usualsuspect · 08/12/2013 22:05

Do what you like.

OHforDUCKSchristmascake · 08/12/2013 22:05

CailinDana this is surprising me too.

People are getting very cross about this, even way after I said Id keep up the pretence with DC2. Why the anger? Absolutely no idea, how very odd indeed.

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CailinDana · 08/12/2013 22:05

It drove me nuts as a child outraged because my parents couldn't answery questions about santa (such as why doesn't he use his magic to help the people who are starving) but wouldn't just answer me when I asked if he was real. Belief in a religion is not comparable belief in santa imo.

OutragedFromLeeds · 08/12/2013 22:07

I always say 'yes', when they ask me if I believe, because he does exist in a sense, just not in a physical sense. I like the explanations in those links I posted upthread.

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking · 08/12/2013 22:09

Do the Santa thing if you want, font do it if you don't.

I believe in Santa as much as I believe in god but I don't think they are the same.

I also don't have an issue with what people tell their children. Tell them whatever you wish. Just don't try tell others what to do. Not saying anyone here has.

I was told many lies growing up and they haven't affected me.

CailinDana · 08/12/2013 22:09

Though I have to add if my DC came home asking about whether they would go to hell for not going to mass (as I was told by my psychopathic infant school headteacher) I would definitely say "no that's not true at all.'

monicalewinski · 08/12/2013 22:12

Cailin, when asked outright last year about santa, my husband shouted "Monica!, little monica has a question". he is a coward who would throw me in front of a bus

I just said to little monic: "what do you think?" and waited.
He said "I think he's real but other people say its your mum & dad".
I just said again "well, what do you think?",
at which point he said "I want him to be real".
So I said "well if you want him to be real then he's real, what other people say doesn't matter".

And that was that, just after xmas he said "he's not real, is he?" and I said "no" (because I didn't want him going to secondary still believing!).

It was all fine, with no trauma and he's right on board this year for his wee brother's benefit.

And if you're a proper underhanded liar with questionable morals like I am, there are loads of you-tube clips where "santa has been caught on hidden camera", magically appearing from fireplaces etc.

FWIW, I don't do the 'be good or no presents thing' either.

CailinDana · 08/12/2013 22:13

See I think answering yes is just lying outraged. It's a lie with good intentions but a lie nonetheless.

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking · 08/12/2013 22:16

I cant get worked up about lies. No harm done. I'm not hurt that my nanna lied about her smoking was the reason there were clouds, or how the dog didn't really go on to be a police dog etc

Parents lie about random shite. To me its a perk of having children

CailinDana · 08/12/2013 22:16

I think using santa as a threat is in a whole other league. At least my parents didn't do that.

OutragedFromLeeds · 08/12/2013 22:16

No it's not. I do believe in Santa. I don't believe he brings the presents or lives in the North Pole or has a physical presence, but I believe in him as a magical part of Christmas, of childhood. The same as I believe in wishes and fairies and magic.

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SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking · 08/12/2013 22:17

Outraged I know what you mean. On Xmas eve I get a little excited about Santa

usualsuspect · 08/12/2013 22:18

No one gives a shit when they grow up that their parents lied about Santa.

OutragedFromLeeds · 08/12/2013 22:18

Although I do lie to my DC's as well. Like when I tell them I'm the Queen of the Universe or that I have eyes in every room

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