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AIBU?

AIBU to be even more annoyed at the benefit system?

107 replies

RoseRedder · 07/12/2013 21:55

I'm not really sure what I want to say about this or how to put it

But my friend has been found dead. Details are at the moment a bit confused and nothing confirmed but it's pointing to suicide

I hadn't had contact with him for about six months then when he asked for help I obviously didn't do enough

about my friend

I found out at 8pm, I'm still taking it in to be honest.

This country stinks to high hell

OP posts:

Report

Darkesteyes · 08/12/2013 00:15

RIP Steven

RoseRedder · 08/12/2013 00:15

thank you

I really do apprericate each and everyones replies

I am going to to try and keep my mind off things by staying on the forum and posting on other threads for a bit, so please don't think badly of me for that

OP posts:

Darkesteyes · 08/12/2013 00:18

Rose you do what you need to do to help you cope No one thinks badly of you

RoseRedder · 08/12/2013 00:21

to be honest I don't even know what I'm doing or what I should be doing?

I've never met his parents, but do know their address

Should I contact them?

OP posts:

GobbySadcase · 08/12/2013 00:27

You do what you need on here.
I'm sure his parents would appreciate condolences.

It wasn't you. It really wasn't. You really dud do all you could x

bassetfeet · 08/12/2013 00:30

Oh my you did not let him down Rose. So sad to read this .
I am old and never ever have seen a government so callous in its treatment of the vulnerable and ill . You almost feel that they think oh well "another one off our welfare system" good for statistics

You helped your friend as best you could bless you . Steven Rest in peace

HopAlongOnItsOnlyChristmas · 08/12/2013 00:37

I'm so sorry rose, it's heartbreaking. Your poor friend.

AlbertoFrog · 08/12/2013 00:39

I'm very sorry to hear this news rose

You were a good friend.

I hope Steven is now at peace.

CrispyHedgehogFucker · 08/12/2013 01:39

So sorry Rose. Please don't blame yourself or feel responsible in any way. You did what you could x

concretebox · 08/12/2013 02:32

I read your other thread.
So sorry to read this.
How sad to read his text.

It's shaming on us all.

DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts · 08/12/2013 05:20

God how terrible, poor poor him, and the people he leaves behind.

Yes absolutely do contact his parents if you want to. When my sister died my parents took comfort in people who told them how much she meant to them and how much she was missed.

DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts · 08/12/2013 05:25

I agree with this quote very much written earlier by Shyla

In the words of Archbishop Desmond Tutu: "There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they're falling in"

CitrusSun · 08/12/2013 06:05

You can tell so much about a country from the way it treats those in need and this country is fucked thanks to the present ConDem old boys club privately educated government who are about as in touch with ordinary folks as the man in the moon and who don't have the balls to go after those who tax evade - benefit fraud is 10% of the missing money, 90% is from tax evasion - who are usually the higher earners and no one will touch them, far better to shoot fish in a barrel isn't it, go after the truly deserving and reduce them to nothing financially. Fucking disgrace. I am so sorry this has happened to your friend OP.

sashh · 08/12/2013 06:32

I don't know what to say.

I'm shocked, I remember the other thread.

paxtecum · 08/12/2013 06:53

Rose: I'm so sorry about Steven.
Please do not blame yourself.

A relative of mine also took his own life. He has Post Polio Syndrome, which meant he was in constant pain and had no mobility.
He battled constantly to get a good care package and failed.
His health was only going to decline so he made his decision.

I cannot imagine how terrible it must be to be a prisoner inside a failing body and the have money and care worries too.
Unbearable.

Best wishes to you. You WERE a good friend to Steven.

Kandypane · 08/12/2013 08:09

This country is a fucking disgrace.

So sorry. RIP Steven

X

WireCatGlitteryBaubles · 08/12/2013 08:23

Rip Steven.

OP, you are a lovely friend.

Please don't blame yourself. This government are responsible for the death of thousands of people. It's horrendous.

We are here for you

MurderOfGoths · 08/12/2013 08:38

I'm so sorry to hear this :( The system as it is treats the vulnerable like shit and should never be allowed to go on

Pinupgirl · 08/12/2013 09:41

Have you contacted the media about this op? I am sure they would be interested or is it already in the news? Might help others in a similar position if it attracts attention. I shall have a google on your behalf.

GobbySadcase · 08/12/2013 10:23

Pinup good luck with that. Campaigners have been trying to get this stuff in the media for over two years but with a few exceptions (Polly Toynbee, Nina Lakshmi and Sonia Poulton) there's been a weird silence on the issue. This is why people don't know what is happening, why they deny what is happening and why I got called a shrieking hysteric on these forums for even attempting to highlight the issue.

As long as people shut their eyes, put their fingers in their ears and go la la la then all is ok with the world.

Itstartshere · 08/12/2013 12:45

I am so sorry OP, there really wasn't anything you could have done, this is too big an issue. It was very decent of you to lend the money and to tell us his story here.

I would like to say while there people out there who are reading this thread who care, that I am a member of a support group with about 150 disabled people in it. Good, educated, very intelligent, funny, hard working people who have all just had bad luck. (we're pretty much all in our 30's) The vast majority are absolutely invisible because they are very unwell but let me assure you their lives are being made miserable by the government. Nearly 150 people who are going through the winter with no heating despite needing to keep warm to keep their health stable, constantly having to go through assessments and appeals and battle to get things like ESA, struggling in ways they really should not have to. Lots of them are in utter despair because they know they stand to lose their income over the coming years when DLA goes out, and as they come up for assessment again with ESA. People are now battling mental health issues on top of physical because of what they're being put through. It is hard to know their stories and not be furious. They have no voice, but they exist.

We need people fighting for all those disabled people who are quietly living utterly desperate lives right now.

Itstartshere · 08/12/2013 12:46

And when I say 150 people I'm obviously just talking about the people I have weekly contact with. Obviously this affects many thousands more.

Darkesteyes · 08/12/2013 17:04

As long as people shut their eyes, put their fingers in their ears and go la la la then all is ok with the world.

In Germany in the 1930s there was a mass hate campaign against disabled people. Posters were displayed depicting that disabled people were costing the country money.
I see chilling parellels between that and what is going on today. Someone from one of the right wingers (it MAY have been UKIP) even suggested building "complexes" to house all the disabled people in one place. And headlines from the right wing press like "75% of ppl on Incapacity Benefit are faking it" are the equivalent of the poster campaign in 1930s Germany.And there is also a correlation between this and the rise in disability hate crimes.

Darkesteyes · 08/12/2013 17:06

Hope you are ok OP X

haveyourselfashandy · 08/12/2013 17:54

RIP Steven.
This country is a joke,I fucking hate David Cameron and the rest of the posh boys in power

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