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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Chicken pox parties

213 replies

RosebudTheCat · 07/12/2013 12:19

A relative has asked if I'd like to expose my two kids to her DD, who has chicken pox. My youngest is just 8mo. AIBU to think it was a stupid question to ask? Do people really still do 'chicken pox parties'?

OP posts:
ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 08/12/2013 21:42

As I held my baby my one tiny consolation was thank fuck I have not deliberately given her this.

NK5BM3 · 08/12/2013 21:45

Totally stupid behaviour. Angry

My DS caught cp from his sister although to be fair everyone at nursery had it. He however was the only child to have a bad reaction a month later when he collapsed and after 6 weeks of a daily rash, fever and joint ache, he was referred to Great Ormond St and diagnosed with systemic juvenile idiopathic arthritis. He/we stayed in hospital for 2 weeks, he had a bond marrow puncture and was on heavy duty drugs for a year.

Only recently has the dr taken him off the drugs to see how he copes and it's looking positive.

But no cp parties are stupid. Getting them randomly or through school etc is one thing... Gathering for the purposes of infection...?!!!! Mad.

ChrisMooseMickey · 08/12/2013 21:45

DD was 7mo old when she caught chicken pox. I was very Shock Hmm at people wanting to freely come round with their kids. DD was so so ill- its not an experience i EVER want to repeat again.

ChrisMooseMickey · 08/12/2013 21:46

Or one that I would wish on other people.

breatheslowly · 08/12/2013 21:48

If chicken pox parties were a good idea then they would be recommended by the NHS.

Sparklymommy · 08/12/2013 21:52

I don't understand why people would want their children to be ill. All of mine have had cp, but I would never have deliberately exposed any of them. My youngest has nasty scars as she was very badly infected with it and I would not wish that on anyone.

A silly idea. Very irresponsible!

Twighlightsparkle · 08/12/2013 21:53

Someone way back said sure start advocated pox parties!

Mental! That sums up sure start to me.

One word, encephalitis.

bumbleymummy · 08/12/2013 21:53

Altinkum, the same could be said for vaccines - for some children they may be high risk and can have life-changing consequences. Does that make parents who vaccinate cruel and idiotic? Probably not in your eyes. Yet that is all some parents are doing with CP - exposing them to something which, for the vast majority, will have no negative effects or consequences but lifelong benefits but for others (who we are not currently being identified) can have serious complications.

Zevite, sorry to hear about your friend's mother. The risk of complications in adults is much higher and they are usually more serious. I think that is why people are saying that it is better to 'get it out of the way' in childhood.

ProudAS · 08/12/2013 21:57

DS wishes he had got it in childhood.

If you don't vaccinate your kids they will almost certainly get it. Saying no to a pox party doesn't stop them getting ill - it merely delays it.

ProudAS · 08/12/2013 22:00

Of course the NHS won't recommend pox parties. They'd be sued if a child got brain damage or died.

FourArms · 08/12/2013 22:15

DS2 got a fairly mild case and ended up seriously ill in hospital and then ill on and off for a year with ITP :( Very glad I didn't purposely infect him.

Lillilly · 08/12/2013 22:18

It is more irresponsible to think you can avoid it, leaving your children quite likely to catch it as adults with terrible consequences. Especially if you have a girl, how could you live with yourself if she gets it whilst pregnant and it caused her baby problems, all because of a deluded idea you can avoid it.

NaturalBaby · 08/12/2013 22:21

I have considered it on a couple of occasions but only once my youngest was over 12months. He's now nearly 3 and none of my dc's have had it yet.

tiggytape · 08/12/2013 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mim78 · 08/12/2013 22:29

8 mo is too young for this to be any benefit (for reasons others have stated that you don't get the immunity) and also you don't want her to get it so young because a baby with CP itching is much harder to cope with than a 3/4 year old.

It's good for them to get it before the start school though IMO because they don't really want to miss time.

I've also heard that the vaccine is not as effective for CP as acting having the illness, but don't know what that is the case for CP and not other things.

nocheeseinhouse · 08/12/2013 22:29

Immunise them, I did. £70 ish.

Rufustherednosedreindeer · 08/12/2013 22:31

tiggytape do you have to request a bloodiest for that?

Rufustherednosedreindeer · 08/12/2013 22:32

Obviously that's supposed to say blood test!!!

tiggytape · 08/12/2013 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mandy21 · 08/12/2013 22:39

I dont think anyone is saying they can definitely avoid it hut as Tiggy says, its one thing to catch it through exposure at school, quite something else to have a parent deliberately expose you to it.

Proudas - thats not true that people will get it if they're not vaccinated, plenty of people never catch it.

WhereIsMyHat · 08/12/2013 22:45

I was wondering last night, approx 10% of those that have had CP get it again, so natural immunity is about 90% effective.

Does anyone know the efficacy of the vaccine? Is it more or less than 90%?

On the third week CP here, I have 3 children. It's been boring being in but preferable to a stomach bug or virus. I think we've been lucky so far. Hoping all are now immune.

Rufustherednosedreindeer · 08/12/2013 22:45

Thanks tiggy

I was pregnant with number three when number two was exposed to chickenpox. I had to go down to the hospital to double check immunity but they didn't test either of us as they said the odds were very good that we had already had it, like you say it may just be one spot in a fold of skin that never gets noticed.

Having said that I got chickenpox 4 years later! Will take her to get tested in two years, it's in my diary!

tiggytape · 08/12/2013 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SparkleToffee · 08/12/2013 22:53

bumbley but that's the whole point - yes colds can rarely have horrific complications, but most often not in children that were perfectly well before. I would be very surprised if someone deliberately set out to give their child a cold ?! It's not the catching of the illness that's the issues, it's the delibrate blasé-ness of ignorant people who willingly attempt to infect their child with an illness that had known complications, with NO idea if their kids will react badly of be the ones that react badly. .

goldenlula · 08/12/2013 22:54

If mine get to their teens not having had it, then I will probably immunise them then. I do worry about ds2 getting it he has had 50+ boils and 30+ styles in the first 7months of this year, which showed up to have staphylococcus aureus infection. He then had follicullitis in August and a further infection in a molluscum contagiousum in October. For this reason I would worry about infection setting in with him.