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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that my friend was in the wrong, not me?

76 replies

roooobarbb · 06/12/2013 17:11

Yesterday I had arranged to meet up with a friend in the city in which she lives (half an hour from where I live), to go Xmas shopping together and go to lunch. My friend has form for being a bit flakey and a little self absorbed at times. However I've always given her the benefit of the doubt. She has a "bestie", whom I'll call Jen, and has in the past dropped plans with me at short notice in order to see Jen instead, or has brought Jen along to planned meet ups with me and then they've chatted away about stuff I'm not involved in and I've felt thoroughly left out.

Anyway, yesterday we arranged to meet at 11am. I turned up, and my friend turned up 15 minutes late, with Jen in tow, having not told me she was bringing her. My friend then said "Jen wants to go and look in X shop and Y shop, it'll be easier if just the two of us go, so we'll meet you back here in, say, an hour. You can go in John Lewis for a coffee or something".

I was quite gobsmacked and said to my friend that if that was the case I'd just go home then, as I had come to meet up with her, not to wander around on my own and have coffee in random shops alone. My friend was visibly taken aback, and seemed quite shocked that I hadn't agreed to go along with what she wanted. I then said "See you, then" and walked off, went to my car and drove home.

She hasn't tried to make any further contact with me, and as far as I am concerned she is well and truly dumped as a friend, but she did do a Facebook status last night saying she was "sick of so-called friends being selfish and oversensitive" so I'm guessing she meant me.

WIBU to just go home?

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 06/12/2013 17:13

I would have been thoroughly pissed off too. Your friend is rude.

YouTheCat · 06/12/2013 17:13

You did the right thing.

She was rude and obnoxious and her passive aggressive status is just childish in the extreme.

Don't bother contacting her again - she's a twat.

mrspremise · 06/12/2013 17:13

Nope. She was. Both in regards to the meet-up and the passive aggressive vaguebooking twaddle. You're well rid, IMHO Smile

CheeseandPickledOnion · 06/12/2013 17:13

YWNBU. What a bitch. Better off without her.

MrsWolowitz · 06/12/2013 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 06/12/2013 17:14

YANBU she sounds not only rude but loopy too. Why meet up with someone only to tell them to bugger off straight away while you go elsewhere with someone else? Why not just cancel on you in the first place? Rude maybe but at least you wouldnt have had a wasted trip!

delete and block from fb and move on is my advice. Who needs waste of time "friends" like that?

Quoteunquote · 06/12/2013 17:14

Block her on the dreaded FB, and stop calling her a friend.

RM0104 · 06/12/2013 17:15

YANBU

I would've definitely went home too. she treated you terribly

roooobarbb · 06/12/2013 17:15

Oh she is well and truly dumped now. Not having anything further to do with her

OP posts:
StrangeGlue · 06/12/2013 17:15

She's in the wrong. How tempting to respond to that FB with 'tell me about it, you'd never believe how I was treated today' but probably best not to!

GlitterySkulls · 06/12/2013 17:16

yanbu whatsoever.

she sounds ridiculous, especially with the childish fb status.

you're well rid, op.

Greenfircone · 06/12/2013 17:16

Dump her, how rude!

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 06/12/2013 17:17

Do StrangeGlues thing. That would be fab.

SpaceKoala · 06/12/2013 17:18

She isn't your friend.. Angry
She was very rude I think.
You do lot need people like that in your life..
I have been in similar situations and even though it's sad to loose a friend it's easier when you realise she was t a real friend in the first place
Sad

2Tinsellytocare · 06/12/2013 17:18

God you poor thing, what a total user, good on you for standing up to her. I'd put a comment on her status!

monicalewinski · 06/12/2013 17:18

roooo, she's clearly wrong and you were right.

(Easiest AIBU ever!)

2Tinsellytocare · 06/12/2013 17:19

Oooh what strangeglue said would be perfect!

ImAnElfJeSuisUneElf · 06/12/2013 17:19

Post a link to this thread as a comment.

sittingbythefairylights · 06/12/2013 17:20

She sounds like one of those insecure people who clings onto their "best" friend and can't make decisions or do anything without them.

Can't be doing with all that rubbish - ignore, don't contact and move on.

annielouisa · 06/12/2013 17:20

She is not a friend just someone who picks up with you when she waiting for a better offer to come along. She and Jen sound like they deserve each other, self obsessed and entitled!

Lose her from your FB and delete any mobile number and make sure messages and calls from her are blocked!

Groovee · 06/12/2013 17:21

WOW! That is so rude. She thought it was ok to do that. I'd hide her from fb then delete her in a few weeks.

IslaValargeone · 06/12/2013 17:21

What everyone else said.
Just gob smackingly awful.

FeisMom · 06/12/2013 17:21

Love strangeglue's suggestion.

YANBU

foslady · 06/12/2013 17:22

Good grief - and if I was 'Jen' I'd be having 2nd thoughts about my friendship with her as well - best off without people like that in your life

Hissy · 06/12/2013 17:22

That is horrific! what a COW (her not you OP)

delete and move on

StrangeGlue

Xmas Grin
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