Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that my friend was in the wrong, not me?

76 replies

roooobarbb · 06/12/2013 17:11

Yesterday I had arranged to meet up with a friend in the city in which she lives (half an hour from where I live), to go Xmas shopping together and go to lunch. My friend has form for being a bit flakey and a little self absorbed at times. However I've always given her the benefit of the doubt. She has a "bestie", whom I'll call Jen, and has in the past dropped plans with me at short notice in order to see Jen instead, or has brought Jen along to planned meet ups with me and then they've chatted away about stuff I'm not involved in and I've felt thoroughly left out.

Anyway, yesterday we arranged to meet at 11am. I turned up, and my friend turned up 15 minutes late, with Jen in tow, having not told me she was bringing her. My friend then said "Jen wants to go and look in X shop and Y shop, it'll be easier if just the two of us go, so we'll meet you back here in, say, an hour. You can go in John Lewis for a coffee or something".

I was quite gobsmacked and said to my friend that if that was the case I'd just go home then, as I had come to meet up with her, not to wander around on my own and have coffee in random shops alone. My friend was visibly taken aback, and seemed quite shocked that I hadn't agreed to go along with what she wanted. I then said "See you, then" and walked off, went to my car and drove home.

She hasn't tried to make any further contact with me, and as far as I am concerned she is well and truly dumped as a friend, but she did do a Facebook status last night saying she was "sick of so-called friends being selfish and oversensitive" so I'm guessing she meant me.

WIBU to just go home?

OP posts:
AlpacaPicnic · 06/12/2013 17:25

That's beyond the height of rudeness, both behavior and pa fb statusing! I would just 'like ' the status and post no comment... And drop her like a cold bag of sick, obviously.

Save your time for people who actually want to spend it with you!

XmasLogAndHollyOn · 06/12/2013 17:25

She was very rude and the PA status update makes her look like a childish arse. I'm sorry that you've been let down by her, as that must be pretty shitty, but you're well rid.

Who needs friend's like that. Move on, block her and walk with a spring in your step knowing that you're better than that.

BabyMummy29 · 06/12/2013 17:25

You weren't BU at all

PumpkinPositive · 06/12/2013 17:27

Sounds like you're well rid. Ex friend is probably genuinely confused though since you put up with all her shite in the past.

DavidHarewoodsFloozy · 06/12/2013 17:28

Oh how awful.Get shot. She's a frenemy, doesn,t deserve you.

Florin · 06/12/2013 17:28

That is really mean. Yanbu, she is an awful, selfish and stupid friend. Dump her.

Whatisaweekend · 06/12/2013 17:30

Ooh do what Imanelf suggests and put a link on her fakebook to this thread. What a complete COW!!

quietbatperson · 06/12/2013 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mewmeow · 06/12/2013 17:32

Yanbu!
She sounds completely self absorbed and self involved. Probably in her mind you are being unreasonable, but that's probably because she's used to things revolving around her.

It's not nice having to end a friendship, but u do think you are better off without her in this instance.

Blu · 06/12/2013 17:35

That was terrible behaviour.
On both counts.
She has no manners, consideration or kindness in her.

lizzypuffs · 06/12/2013 17:35

Yanbu...indeed you are well rid of her.

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 06/12/2013 17:41

Definitely NBU. Please do what Strangeglue suggests! Grin and then report back

sebsmummy1 · 06/12/2013 17:42

Rude rude rude. YANBU, dump her on Facebook and get on with your life. She is not a friend I'm afraid.

LindyHemming · 06/12/2013 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pancakeflipper · 06/12/2013 17:58

Glad you left.
Let her play with Jen.

I am sure you have friends who want to have lunch and mooch round shops with you.

snooter · 06/12/2013 18:02

Can't believe she thought you were selfish! Just sorry you hadn't stood up to her sooner.

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock · 06/12/2013 18:04

YANBU, blindingly obviously.

PLEASE do what strangeglue suggests!

shewhowines · 06/12/2013 18:07

Another easy YANBU

If you don't have mutual friends post the link to this. If you do, rise above it and move on.

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 06/12/2013 18:09

There was a really really similar thread to this on here before, almost identical situation. If I was clever I'd find it as I think there were some funny posts on it.

You're better off without 'friends' like that OP, leave her and Jen to it.

tobiasfunke · 06/12/2013 18:15

She is a shit friend. I had one of those too. I once travelled 50 miles to meet her for lunch and she kept me waiting an hour and a half because she was arranging for her other friend to turn up as well.
I dumped her eventually.
Every time I dared complain she always went on the attack about how over sensitive and difficult I was. She lacked any empathy.

imalama · 06/12/2013 18:37

What everyone else said. I can't deal with adults (or anyone over the age of 16) who make passive-aggressive FB status updates.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 06/12/2013 18:40

Shock but good for you for standing up for yourself

ProfondoRosso · 06/12/2013 18:43

What a rubbish friend. Well done for not taking her shit.

Adults who conduct friendship drama via Facebook should be forced to do community service, IMHO, that'll learn 'em.

Ilovexmastime · 06/12/2013 18:45

Yanbu. Basically what everyone else has said!

mrstigs · 06/12/2013 18:47

That is a shit way to treat a friend, you are well rid. She clearly doesnt know how to behave like a grown up.
And the vaguebooking just makes her look foolish and shows she has no concern for anyone but herself. Dont waste any more time on her.