To think that my friend was in the wrong, not me?

[roooobarbb]

Yesterday I had arranged to meet up with a friend in the city in which she lives (half an hour from where I live), to go Xmas shopping together and go to lunch. My friend has form for being a bit flakey and a little self absorbed at times. However I've always given her the benefit of the doubt. She has a "bestie", whom I'll call Jen, and has in the past dropped plans with me at short notice in order to see Jen instead, or has brought Jen along to planned meet ups with me and then they've chatted away about stuff I'm not involved in and I've felt thoroughly left out.

Anyway, yesterday we arranged to meet at 11am. I turned up, and my friend turned up 15 minutes late, with Jen in tow, having not told me she was bringing her. My friend then said "Jen wants to go and look in X shop and Y shop, it'll be easier if just the two of us go, so we'll meet you back here in, say, an hour. You can go in John Lewis for a coffee or something".

I was quite gobsmacked and said to my friend that if that was the case I'd just go home then, as I had come to meet up with her, not to wander around on my own and have coffee in random shops alone. My friend was visibly taken aback, and seemed quite shocked that I hadn't agreed to go along with what she wanted. I then said "See you, then" and walked off, went to my car and drove home.

She hasn't tried to make any further contact with me, and as far as I am concerned she is well and truly dumped as a friend, but she did do a Facebook status last night saying she was "sick of so-called friends being selfish and oversensitive" so I'm guessing she meant me.

WIBU to just go home?

Be prepared for her to get in touch with you when she has been dumped by Jen or needs a favour.

She sounds so self-absorbed that she's probably never really been a good friend to you. If you've had good fun in the past then great. I suspect you'll feel much better very soon.

YWNBU. She was at best being insensitive, at worst a bitch. It also sounds like she is pathetically in thrall to this "Jen", who presumably suggested the gate crash. Life is too short for "friends" like this.

I would've been so tempted to comment on the fb status. 'So called friends' indeed. She sounds an utter pain in the hole and I would've gone home too.

Oh, please do what StrangeGlue said! That was breathtakingly rude of her.

God, she's awful. You could reply to her post with "ooh, I know, you'll never guess what happened to me yesterday.... ".
But better to just dump her and forget.

Ha ha yeah friend is totally U! Crazy.

You should reply on FB 'oh no Hun, what happened?????? Xoxoxo'

What a total knob. At the very least hide her from your feed so you don't have to see that crap. It's great when you get rid of 'friends' like these - you get to spend time with the ones that actually matter :-)

I was just thinking the same as quietbatperson - it's rare to get total agreement on here. YANBU!

Unanimous - YANBU. If it hasn't already been suggested send her the link to this discussion. Breathe a sigh of relief that you have managed to get her out of your life so easily.

Agreed. Unanimous YANBU. That NEVER happens! She is an idiot. How can she possibly think she was in the right?!

What a self absorbed cow! It'd be rude to cancel last minute, but it's positively sociopathic to try and get you to sit nicely whilst she goes off to play sit someone else!
I'm not sure I could resist commenting on her status with a link to this thread, but perhaps rising above it would be best

Wow!! Just Wow!
How the hell did she expect you to be ok with this - selfish bitch.

I'd of been tempted to add to her little FB post ' some people are just not worthy of my time and effort' or similar.
Block and delete her from your life OP, YANBU - she is.

You will feel better when you cut selfish people like this out of your life. She is not treating you like a friend, she thinks she can just drop you and pick you up again whenever she likes. It's shocking that she turned up late then expected you to just wait around for an hour because she'd made plans with someone else. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Her passive aggressive status is the icing on the crap cake. Block her.

Wow! Well done you for leaving. Her face must have been a picture!

yy grumpyredhead

So she effectively ditched you to your face, wow what a rude bitch, mug her off and tell her to do one if she comes running when no one else wants to know her.

Oh I would be so tempted to answer on Facebook and say, "I know, something similar happened to me yesterday and I posted about it on Mumsnet. Everyone there thinks my so-called friend is an utter bitch." Then post the link.

It's just such a BIZARRE thing to do.

Wow, just wow! She's a twat

I'd be populating her FB page with a wee comment like this.

You planned to go shopping with me
But went off with somebody else. See
If you think it's my fault
That you haven't been taught
Good manners, then soon you'll be lonely.

Cow.

YANBU!!! What an insensitive cow!!

YANBU OP, tbh I'd defriend her after that and block her. If she obviously doesn't give a damn about being your friend and wants to make you feel crappy with PA rubbish then assert yourself and send a big fuck you message by cutting her off completely. It works better then ignoring because she's bound to be continually checking her fb to see if you've responded.