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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To NOT buy new school shoes and make DS wear trainers to school for the next two weeks?

63 replies

InsanityandBeyond · 06/12/2013 10:00

DS (11) came home from school on Wednesday with the sole of one of his 4 week old shoes almost completely ripped off. The other shoe has a large hole in the side. These were his second pair of shoes this term as I had to replace the shoes he started with in September at half term as he had ripped the fronts of them off.

Both pairs were mid priced shoes. One pair was £30, the other pair £25. I know it's not the shoes as his twin brother's are a bit scuffed but not ripped apart. I also will never again pay more for that on shoes as it seems the more expensive they are, the less they last IME with this particular son!

All through primary, I was having to replace shoes every 6 weeks and I am now officially PISSED OFF! I am not buying him another pair that he will have scuffed by the end of the term so starts back in January in damaged shoes. I could also do without the expense what with 4 DC, DD's birthday and Christmas looming.

I have told him to wear his PE trainers which are black, heavy duty and in perfect condition!

His teacher has told him that he needs new shoes by Monday Hmm. I don't care if school are not happy and he gets told off.

AIBU?

OP posts:
livinginawinterwonderland · 06/12/2013 10:02

Can you not staple the sole of back on and use duct tape or something to cover up the hole until the holidays? I probably wouldn't buy a new pair of shoes with 2 weeks to go (especially as they'll be cheaper in the sales) but I don't see how you can insist he goes against school uniform either.

forceslover · 06/12/2013 10:03

Write a letter informing the school that you cannot afford new shoes until the new year and that your son has to wear his trainers.

DustyBaubles · 06/12/2013 10:04

You're going to have to buy shoes eventually, so you might as well do it now.

It doesn't matter if they are scuffed in January.

Just buy Dr.Martens, they are indestructible.

Bunbaker · 06/12/2013 10:06

Isn't there a shop that does shoe repairs near you?

DD's school has a strict shoe policy and they are not allowed to wear trainers at school except for PE. If they do they get a detention. Maybe it would teach your son to take more care of his shoes.

NoComet · 06/12/2013 10:08

YANBU
school shoes are the most ridiculous waste of time money and stress.

The more often schools are told to fuck off about them the better.

NigellasLeftNostril · 06/12/2013 10:08

Just buy Dr.Martens, they are indestructible
yes and at least £60 a pair and will be grown out of by the time they are worn in.........
if i were you OP I would tell the class teacher to stick it where the sun dont shine.

NigellasLeftNostril · 06/12/2013 10:09

...politely of course..Grin

pasanda · 06/12/2013 10:09

I wouldn't buy new shoes no. Writing a letter saying you can't afford it is a good idea i think.

What are school actually going to do if he wears trainers?? Ban him from going? I doubt it. Call their bluff!

SaucyJack · 06/12/2013 10:11

YANBU. If he gets into trouble, it would be his fault (unless you're going to drip feed that he has cerebral palsy or summat).

Also, you could buy him a pair now, and one less present at Christmas instead?

Chopchopbusybusy · 06/12/2013 10:13

I don't understand why he can't go to school in January with scuffed shoes.
I would be having a talk with him about what exactly he does to damage his shoes. If he is being careless I'd be reducing his pocket money to compensate.

gamerchick · 06/12/2013 10:15

My son's shoes only last 4 weeks.. I feel sorry for them before he puts them on. I just go to shoe zone but it's still 20 quid.

We get asked to buy plimsols if shoes aren't affordable. Not really much good in this weather.

Just write a note or ring up asking for a pass. The whinging from the school isn't worth the aggro.

Preciousbane · 06/12/2013 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialsubject · 06/12/2013 10:32

try to teach him not to destroy things?

redexpat · 06/12/2013 12:20

Is there not a cobler where you live?
And yes, what IS your son doing to shoes?
And yes in future buy Doc Martens.

Bunbaker · 06/12/2013 12:31

"What are school actually going to do if he wears trainers?? Ban him from going? I doubt it. Call their bluff!"

Detention is the usual sanction round here, although if there is genuine hardship I think the school would try and find a way around it.

goldenlula · 06/12/2013 12:31

I think I would be making your son use his own money to buy a pair of shoes, this may well make him take more responsible for his possessions and how much they really cost. Contact the school to discuss the situation you are in right now.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 06/12/2013 12:34

How old is he and what the hell is he doing to rip soles off his shoes so often!

CreamyCooler · 06/12/2013 12:39

I think you should buy him the cheapest pair you can find if it's part of the school uniform policy to wear black shoes. My DS3 and DB were wreckers but they grew out of it.

NoComet · 06/12/2013 12:46

If he's in Y7 he will get told off and quite probably put in detention. Stupidly petty, but senior schools are insanely petty about shoes.

May teach him to be more careful.

If he's still at primary the school can get lost!

mrsjay · 06/12/2013 12:52

what is he doing to his shoes that they are falling to bits I get that they do eventually wear out but every few weeks is a bit much I would go get the sole repaired and make them wear them if you want to wait until january you are just going to have to tough it out

kslatts · 06/12/2013 12:52

I think you should buy him a cheap pair of shoes until the end of term. If the school has a policy of no trainers, making your son break the rules doesn't really teach him the right message.

NoComet · 06/12/2013 12:53

Yes a Y6 shouldn't wreck their shoes, but a Yr, Y3 where do the school draw the line.

DD1 still climbed trees in the park on the way home in Y6.

Surely schools should be encouraging an active healthy life style not making the DCs be scared to run about in case they damage their shoes.

mrsjay · 06/12/2013 12:53

tough it out with school* i know it is a PITA but he might get hassle at school about new shoes phone them up and tell them you will buy them in january not before

NoComet · 06/12/2013 12:55

Actually it teachers exactly the right message-

Schools are there to provide an education, end of!

CreamyCooler · 06/12/2013 12:57

You'll have to buy him a pair anyhow, just get them now. Could you get a refund on a Christmas present you have brought him and use that Money and tell him what you have done?