To think that it's ok to want to bring up your children and to be a mother, just as it's ok to go out to work instead?

[bronya]

I was brought up to 'have a career' and to think about work not babies. I admit I'd be bored doing nothing, and love the tutoring that I do - but I have no wish at ALL to be the main wage earner and leave the childcare to someone else. When my DS was born, it felt like I was complete. I'm happier, have more self esteem and confidence than I've ever had. I've met many other mums who feel similarly. Surely, our choice is just as valid as those who are WOHM? The point of feminism was that we should have that choice - whichever one we choose is our decision, surely?

L you will be when the new measures come in.

I'm not fascinated retro- I'm simply repeating back what you yourself have said. You've told us on countless threads how Narked you are to have lost CB. Therefore your partner must have a minimum income of 60k. Simples.

As for pensions... Well, like I say, plenty of people are savvy and have been paying in a loooong time, but to describe yours as fab I'm assuming you've continued to pay in without breaks, despite not working. Like I said , me and my DH pay in around £800 per month between us into our pension pots and I'd describe ours as good but not fab. I also found that dropping to 3 days a week work for 5 years has hit my pension quite a lot... So goodness only knows what you must be doing to have such a fabulous pension while being a SAHM! But as you're clearly extremely well off, plus you could step back into your high flying career any minute if you wanted, your life is clearly marvellous. Which just makes it odd that you seem so resentful of WOHP getting a bit of 'help'. Help as in 1k back out of 6k paid out in childcare. Very odd

You said my name!! Who were you talking to/about then?!

And many get wtc atm,not that hard to understand.

Well you wonder away Janey,for what we want we'll be fine.

Believe you me compared to rising 3 kids on one salary we'll be fine.

Fabulous to us may not be fabulous to you,ditto any job I do or don't do.

People differ.

Anyhoo same old,same old.

These threads never stay as debates

After a while it turns into the janey and retro show

Boring...and I know you don't give a shiny shit what anyone else says so I am off in a pout!!!!

May have a latte....

Retro - you seem to have a lot of opinions about benefits you seem to know very little about.

We (both teachers, 1 ft, 1 pt) got WTC until the government changed, with 2nd child they had gone - also pay cuts, increase in cost of living, pension contributions. Not a great time just now. If one of us earned 60k the other could stay at home, we have to work as described above in order to earn that much. But then what we view as "enough" as a family wage is very individual.
In general though, doesn't society need people to work? And also need people to have children? And that includes the children of poorer people who struggle to pay for childcare. I would not like to live in a society where the only children who existed were those of the financially solvent.

Rufus I do.

If it didn't keep me up all night I might have a latte- and a manicure.

Oh hang on - retro told us earlier on this thread she was a childminder who deliberately kept her hours low so she was under the tax threshold.... Yet she has a fabulous pension!

I smell BS

It's no good talking to me retro I'm not here anymore

Ooh shit.....need to rethink that

janey she may well be making contributions out of her husbands wages

And fab is a relative term

And I'm not here, that wasn't me saying that

Really need to rethink the whole flouncing off business...it's not really working for me

Really Permanent.

Its I'm not saying don't help the poorest but decide on a system and stick with it so it's fair oh and that perhaps putting down/ criticising those who have chosen to fund their childcare by having a sahp is a tad unfair.

Exactly rufus- so it comes across as a bit grabby to be complaining about losing CB if your partner is purchasing a fab pension for you while you're not working!

You said it Rufus(fab is relative)I also have a financial adviser for a father.

I'm no good at flouncing either.

I wasn't aware she was complaining about losing CB, I thought she was complaining about the discrepancy of house hold incomes.

Between 50 and 60k for single income families, 100 and 120k for joint income families

I am probably wrong though, I haven't made a study of her posts.

I am not a retro expert....I would be shit on mastermind!

Oh give it a rest Janey,the world doesn't begin and end with Retropear.

there are millions of other sahp.

And grabby.

This is a debate about Conservative (or coalition officially) government policy now rather than the equal validity of women's working choices. I think is a bit of a shame that they can succeed in dividing women like this.

I suppose I can see how it relates in that government policies appear designed to favour one choice over another but it's all too complicated for me to figure out whether this is or isn't true.

I have claimed CB but no longer eligible now. I do get childcare vouchers. Tax credits is a whole world of mystery to me. There were times we were eligible but it was just too complicated to claim with DH's irregular income.

I wish they had never taken CB away from anyone but I didn't find it so unfair that two lower earners still received it vs one higher earner. At the time (before my promotion) DH and I combined salaries were about equal to BIL single one (SIL SAHP). They were bemoaning the unfairness. I kept it zipped but privately I thought it was ok as we had a lot less in our pockets at the end of the day because half my earning went on childcare. CB was a drop in the ocean of that expense which they didn't have.

I believe there are counter arguments about two vs one tax free allowances though??

No Rufus you've pretty much summed it up.

I was referring to your inaccurate ideas about who can get financial help with childcare costs and who gets WTC.

Over the last couple of pages of this thread, there has only been one person 'whining' about not getting financial help from the government and it isn't those who are working.

Hear hear permanentlyexhausted

No I have pointed out unfairness.

I've nearly finished my stint as a sahp so it won't be long before I cross over.

I'll still point out the unfairness as for those starting out it makes a big difference and I don't like the slapped wrist inference it gives to sahp.Don't like the crappy comments from the Condems either.

Whatever Janey.