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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want ds to be a prop in the school play

69 replies

kalms1971 · 04/12/2013 09:42

dh has put in a holiday day and when he found out ds is not even in the show he was really disappointed. He will be dressed all in black as a "prop", not really what we what to see :( I have mentioned politely to the teacher that surely they could have done something more to make everyone included. Other children are singers and at least get to be christmassy!

OP posts:
OpalTourmaline · 04/12/2013 10:09

What exactly is a prop? What will he be doing? It does seem an odd part, but I think you should both still go and tell your ds how you can't wait to see him and will give him a wave etc. People usually go up at the end in ours and tell the children well done/give them a hug/chat, so would be a shame to not do that. He'll join in with the general singing won't he?

Justforlaughs · 04/12/2013 10:14

I suppose it will depend on whether your DS wants to be a prop or not. It would be harsh if he wanted to be "Christmassy" but some children want to work behind the scenes. Everybody has to work together to make teh production and learning that not everyone is cut out for the same roles is very important.

LEMisafucker · 04/12/2013 10:22

YABabitU I always go to DDs school plays whether she is a tree, the virgin mary or just part of the general group - the children just want to see their parents in the audience, you see them craning their little necks to get a glimpse of mummy and daddy, grandma etc - I feel sad for the ones who's parents can't be there.

bigbrick · 04/12/2013 10:25

Yanbu - why is he a prop? Surely he could be given a fun role

TheWitTank · 04/12/2013 10:29

What does he get to do? Is he helping change scenes and move things around? Last year my friends son was a "prop" (or stage hand) in the school play-he wore a shirt and tie, with a name bade saying "stage director " on and he absolutely loved it! He felt very important and very much a part of the play. If you son is just standing around doing nothing then YANBU at all-he should have some kind of visible role!

OldDaddy · 04/12/2013 11:16

every part is important! reminds me of a very prima-donna girl in my drama class at school who insisted that as maria in SOM she was the most important person in the production. We taught her during the dress rehearsal that without the lighting team nobody would actually see her.

DeWe · 04/12/2013 11:16

Stage hands are always one of the most contested "parts" at the junior school.

I was the prompter one year at school. My dm made out she was thrilled to go and watch the play I was promting and how proud she was that I was doing such an important job.
I guess, looking back, she was probably disappointed, but she didn't let any show in front of me.

SomethingkindaOod · 04/12/2013 11:22

I did wonder what a prop was, if he is part of the stage 'crew' then it may well be a very coveted position. In our school the backstage crew wore shirts with 'CREW' across the back and got their own bow at the end. Year 6 students got to do it and the year above DS's actually got a little physical about who would be the best people to go in it...

ClayDavis · 04/12/2013 11:32

We taught her during the dress rehearsal that without the lighting team nobody would actually see her.

PMSL laughing at this. I can imagine the look on her face.

OP did your DS want to be on stage. Many don't and there's no point forcing them if they don't want to be. It might not have been the teacher's decision.

CoffeeTea103 · 04/12/2013 11:53

There are a limited amount of parts in the play, be it main roles, stage hands, props etc. They probably suited each part to the child.
How many threads were on here recently where kids were not even included and posters were suggesting that even a prop part should've been offered .
So there you are, I'm sure every parent wants their child to be in a fun role but it doesn't always work that way.
Just encourage your DS and sound positive about it, he will still be in the play.

ICameOnTheJitney · 04/12/2013 12:04

Kalms please explain what you mean by "prop". A prop is an item....like a shepards crook...or a tea kettle...do you mean he is an "extra" or a stage hand?

OpalTourmaline · 04/12/2013 12:05

Yes it's true that sometimes the teachers give out parts based on what the children volunteer to do. He might have liked the sound of that part.

OpalTourmaline · 04/12/2013 12:25

I know someone whose dd volunteered to play the Wizard in a production of the Wizard of Oz. She thought it must be a big part because of the title. Grin

Original poster
kalms1971 · 04/12/2013 12:40

He is very outgoing so seems really odd he will be behind the scenes

OP posts:
hallowisitmeyourelookingfor · 04/12/2013 12:44

How old is he? Has he volunteered for the part?

Pointeshoes · 04/12/2013 12:46

Everyone has to have a part to play, no matter how small they're all important. Just enjoy the show eh.

miaowmix · 04/12/2013 12:46

Prop? What does that even mean?

jojane · 04/12/2013 12:51

I have the opposite problem! Ds1 has suspected aspergers (mild) and has been chosen to play Joseph! He hates dressing up, would never pretend or or role play when younger (is only 6now!) . I am really worried about how he will be on the day. (he has a great memory so I know he CAN do it and remember all his lines etc just not sure he is going to WANT to do it when it comes around!

hatsybatsy · 04/12/2013 12:51

do you mean stage hand? am not clear what place a black prop would have in any play??

manicinsomniac · 04/12/2013 12:54

Is it physical theatre? That's the only way I can see that a prop is an actual role. If it is then I think it's fine.

If not then he's crew. Which is fine if it's what he wants but, depending on the age of the children, all who want to be involved should be.

Floggingmolly · 04/12/2013 12:55

What has his being out going got to do with it? Do you think he's destined for a starring role?

Original poster
kalms1971 · 04/12/2013 12:57

He has to wear all black clothes and his job in the school Christmas play will be to move scenery

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 04/12/2013 13:03

It depends on his age and what the role entails. It does sound a bit dull for him if he is just standing at the back with a black t-shirt on.

I also believe that your presence will be one of the most important things and your reaction to his role. I say this as last Friday my DS who is in YR 2 found out that he was to be a 'fairy light', he was pretty cross about it- he said that he didn't want to be a 'fairy' anything or do the 'silly' dance and song to go with it. He's also disappointed that he didn't get a talking role. He was so upset because of the word 'fairy'. I explained to him that it was just a word and that I couldn't wait to see him sing and dance as a light. Once I had said this, his face was beaming. I am bracing myself now though as he told me that as part of the play, one of the fairy lights is put in the reject box and no one knows who that will be yet!

Clayhead · 04/12/2013 13:04

The wearing of black clothes and moving scenery are the most hotly contested parts round here! DS would love to do that.

Original poster
kalms1971 · 04/12/2013 13:06

Aw thanks Clayhead :)

OP posts: