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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want ds to be a prop in the school play

69 replies

kalms1971 · 04/12/2013 09:42

dh has put in a holiday day and when he found out ds is not even in the show he was really disappointed. He will be dressed all in black as a "prop", not really what we what to see :( I have mentioned politely to the teacher that surely they could have done something more to make everyone included. Other children are singers and at least get to be christmassy!

OP posts:

Bettercallsaul1 · 05/12/2013 22:03

As in "Oh, come let us a-door him"? Makes sense.

Justforlaughs · 05/12/2013 22:11

I though wombles was making a tongue in cheek reply to a tongue in cheek post obviously I'm not sensitive enough to mumsnet nuances

Bettercallsaul1 · 05/12/2013 22:27

There should be an ambiguity alert on MN to avoid unintentional insults.

legoplayingmumsunite · 05/12/2013 22:28

Imagine if theatre shows such as the lion king didn't have stage crew... it wouldn't work

My cousin has been stage crew for The Lion King and I can agree it is a very important job . And it's steadier work than being an actor.

Bettercallsaul1 · 05/12/2013 22:37

Yes, I'm sure, lego. It doesn't depend on staying young and maintaining your physical appearance, for one thing. And you'll never be type-cast as stage crew either!

moominleigh94 · 05/12/2013 22:45

He's a techie! They're the best ;)

I'm on a practical Theatre and Performance degree and trust me - the whole course has learned that a show doesn't go ahead without techies. Me and a couple of the others who were stage hands/crew before going to uni knew this but most didn't - he may not feel like it, but he has one of the most important roles! Make sure he knows that without him, it probably couldn't go ahead!

There's good money in being a techie too! It's much steadier work - and the backstage crew always have more fun than the cast, always!

miaowmix · 06/12/2013 16:04

I absolutely was not gloating btw. But perhaps I missed the nuances in Wombles' post?

In which case somebody please report me, I can't seem to report my own post. Thanks!

Bettercallsaul1 · 06/12/2013 23:51

GreyGardens - don't worry, none of us actually knew whether Wombles' post was serious or not - it was completely ambiguous! It could have been taken either way, and as her Mum, you're obviously sensitive to the negative sense. I always think, if you are posting mock-insults, you should make it clear with a smiley.

Congratulations on your daughter's part, by the way - that will be a lovely memory for her, and for. all of you!

OpalTourmaline · 07/12/2013 00:37

I thought it was serious too. Wombles hasn't been back to say otherwise.

spanieleyes · 07/12/2013 09:39

Have you actually asked your son how HE feels? All you have said is that dh is disappointed but not what ds has said. Perhaps he ASKED not to be on show ( I have one child who, whilst seemingly very outgoing, hates learning lines, hates standing on a stage and wouldn't want a part for love nor money) or perhaps he is very proud that he has been chosen for such a responsible role and he's having to deal with YOUR disappointment, not his!

miaowmix · 09/12/2013 00:12

thanks saul...i am proud not gloaty. v kind of you

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 09/12/2013 01:18

GoldenBear are they doing The Bossy Christmas Fairy? I was in that at junior school! And at least he gets a song, the poor baubles don't.

OP, stage hands are very important, so they'll usually get a special bow at the end (and you can spot him as he changes the scenery!).

OhMerGerd · 09/12/2013 06:43

As most have said its how you react that counts here. If you sound excited and proud he will be excited and proud.
My DD was ' a cloud' one year. Can't even remember what play was about but I do recall that DD was the best cloud ever! She is the type to want to have the lead role too but it does them good at a young age to learn to manage their emotions and disappointments, to pick themselves up & go on to support the rest of the 'team' by being the best they can be at their given task. DD had a ball as a cloud in the end.

The role your son has was quite often given to some of the most charismatic boys (mainly) in the class. There was one lad who brought such fun to it he did it every year and had his own separate bow with the loudest cheers of all from the 'actors' and the parents/ rest of school. He used to do an exaggerated stage wink at the audience as he positioned the bits and pieces on set. Or shake his head theatrically if a curtain failed and he had to run on stage and tug at it. I expect his mum had told him he'd be the best prop ever! She and his dad certainly looked fit to burst with pride.

Just enjoy it. He will look for you and his dad from the stage so give him the biggest smile secret wink etc and join in his excited 'did you see when I put the shepherds crook in the manger ' chat ..

Have fun.

SatinSandals · 09/12/2013 07:12

Probably he wanted to be a 'prop'- lots of children don't want to be on stage at all. My neighbours son always did the lights, it was his coveted job. You can still enjoy the play.

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle · 09/12/2013 07:45

My brother was a clock (literally wearing a box on his head with a clock drawn on, standing still) 35 years ago. It didn't kill him.

Holiday day - really??

SatinSandals · 09/12/2013 07:50

I think the problem is that there are a lot of mismatched children and parents, with children who think a clock is an ideal part and parents who want them centre stage with lines to say. I was a child who wanted to be the back line if the chorus so, not surprisingly, my children were similar.

SatinSandals · 09/12/2013 07:54

I have a teacher friend who had a mother storm in to complain that yet again her child didn't have a main part. My friend was somewhat surprised, she pointed out she had been offered a main part but turned it down. Mother came back to apologise having questioned her daughter.
I bet some of the boys were fighting to be 'prop'!

VivaLeBeaver · 09/12/2013 07:54

Well the teacher must think he's sensible and is going to get the job done properly so that's good. Tell him how proud you are he's been trusted with something so important.

OpalTourmaline · 09/12/2013 12:03

A mum at our school was most miffed when her dd was not picked for a main speaking part in the nativity a few years back as she "wasn't being given the chance to show what she could do." (There were 59 other children from her year in the production.) She had always had main roles in previous assemblies and plays. Her dd was in the band and the mum demanded that the band be moved onto the stage, instead of below it.. and the school went along with it and moved the band onto the stage the next day.

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