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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is long hair the rule for little girls??

109 replies

thereyet · 03/12/2013 23:17

Back story: my dd had the biggest bald spot I've ever seen, and with such dark hair, it was super obvious (the whole back of her head) and maybe just a little embarrassing :). When her hair grew long, because of the immense bald spot, it was very uneven and just looked feathery. So when it was long enough, I had it cut into a bob, as short at the highest level, at her chin. I thought it was super cute (and chic!) but so many women in my extended family let me know that it was 'too short' and someone actually said 'her haircut does look really cute, BUT LITTLE GIRLS NEED TO HAVE LONG HAIR'. I'm borrowing a phrase from a poster in another thread, but AIBU about the Disnification/Pinkification of little girls? I didn't say anything in response but am burning with resentment, which brings me to the point: what kind of person makes a disparaging remark about a 2 year old's appearance? Who does that??

OP posts:

MisguidedHamwidge · 04/12/2013 07:48

My 2 year old has a very short neat bob (without a fringe) & I've had so many compliments about it, some from complete strangers. We had it cut that short because it was thin & straggly on the ends but it looks so nice that I am going to keep it in the bob style - until she is old enough to have an opinion about it anyway.

pianodoodle · 04/12/2013 07:55

Cute little girls are going to look cute no matter if they have long, short or in my 2 year old's case, precious little hair :)

TheRaniOfYawn · 04/12/2013 08:03

My experience of long hair for little girls is that mostly they have it not for reasons of Dinsney pinkification but because it is low maintenance. You brush it and put it in av pair or pony tail every day and get it cut a couple of times a year. Now I have a boy he is costing me a fortune in haircuts because it is not socially acceptable to just let it grow and I don't like the look of a short back and sided on little boys ( and he prefers his hair long).

Mumsyblouse · 04/12/2013 08:54

Not sure why you have to have long hair to do ballet- the best girl dancer in our ballet school used to have a bob and put it back (pinned etc) for shows/classes. They can't insist you have long hair!

Chrysanthemum5 · 04/12/2013 09:02

I was just saying this to DH yesterday! DD (6) is the only girl in her class who doesn't have long hair. I keep it cut in a chin length bob as it is tidier, and easier to look after. Also, I think she looks fabulous with short hair!

DD would like longer hair because she wants to have hair bobbles, however, the girls with long hair spend a lot of time playing with their hair bobbles, putting their hair up, taking it down etc. (according to their mums who get complaints from the teacher about it).

Mumsyblouse · 04/12/2013 09:03

One of mine has a bob and she loves it precisely because it's a bit different than all her classmates.

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 04/12/2013 09:06

My DD has short hair, her hair just doesnt grow quickly and it'll be a while before she even gets it into a bob, im just not bothered by it, although others have commented.

sashh · 04/12/2013 09:08

I live in an area where no one has much money. I thought the boys with Mo2 and girls with long straggles was because people couldn't afford hairdressers.

But is it fashion?

Lovecat · 04/12/2013 09:14

I wish DD would have a bob, she would look so much better (very fine almost baby hair) but she wants it long and I remember my mother forcing me to have mine short because it was 'easier' and wishing for long hair, so I respect her opinion and just hope she'll decide for herself to get it cut eventually. To be fair, a really short pixie cut would not suit her at all. She goes to an all girls' school and there is a wide variety of haircuts within her class.

Re. boys and long hair, I once had a conversation that left me boggling as the woman I was talking to said her sister was 'at fault' for letting her son have hair to his shoulders (he looked fab btw)!

Tailtwister · 04/12/2013 09:14

Who makes disparaging comments about a 2 yo's appearance? A twat!

No, little girls don't have to have long hair. In fact, thinking on those in DS2's class (he's 3), most have bobs or shorter.

Ignore the comments. Some people have hang ups about things like that which stem from their own insecurities.

randomquicknamechange · 04/12/2013 09:15

I have very short hair, pixie short spiked up at the front, my mum has very short hair (though not as short as mine.
I had longer haur until I was about 7 when I had ut cropped really short abd gad various short stykes had it long briefly in my twenties abd fekt ridiculous.
My DD is four and has just below shoulder length thick curls sge has it trimmed every 6 weeks and every time I say it is time for a hair cut she says 'no not like yours, you have boy hair' which I find bizarre as as I said both me and her nan have very short hair.

MrsPnut · 04/12/2013 09:18

My DD2 has never had hair longer than a chin length bob, and I am trying to persuade her to have a pixie crop because it think it would look amazing on her.

DD1 has almost waist length hair and uses extensions as well but she's 16 and can do what she likes now.

BlackbeltinBS · 04/12/2013 09:18

My DD(6) has a short bob and a fringe, I think she looks lovely, sometimes some of her "friends" are mean to her because they've got long hair and she doesn't, and I have said she can grow it if she wants but she's chosen to keep it short. It's nice and easy to look after and she has a huge selection of Alice bands.

MiaowTheCat · 04/12/2013 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 04/12/2013 09:26

My dd is seven and has a bob that starts out really short and gets cut if it goes much longer than her chin. With a fringe it really suits her and is easy to care for.

vitaminC · 04/12/2013 09:37

I have 3 DDs. 1 had long hair at that age, 1 had it very short and the youngest had it long until she hacked it all off with scissors from the first aid kit in my car! I neatened it into a short bob, which turned out to really suit her and was much easier to maintain and she kept it that length until around age 6, when she asked to grow it long.

I say whatever suits your DD and her hair (some hair textures are difficult to handle when long) is right. Don't listen to unwanted opinions - it's none of their business!

Fleta · 04/12/2013 09:40

DespicableMa - your children are gorgeous

AFAIC there isn't a "rule" with regards to hair for girls - how ridiculous that people would suggest that.

My daughter does have long hair but only because she wants it that way - if she wanted to have it cut, then of course she could have it cut. The only rule I have with regards to hair is that her long hair is tied back for school (two Pippi Longstocking plaits here!)

MrsOakenshield · 04/12/2013 09:47

I don't see what long hair has got to do with Disneyfication , DD has long hair because it's curly and looks nice, and because I can't be bothered with getting it cut all the time. She's nearly 4 and if she asked to have it short she could, but she likes being able to choose between having her hair down, plaits, bunches, ponytail.

Up to you, your relations are being most odd!

SomethingkindaOod · 04/12/2013 09:55

I had to do an emergency bob on DD1 a couple of years ago when she came home with chewing gum stuck in her shoulder length hair. It was cute enough but she really does suit longer hair more at the moment and was desperate to grow it back. It's past her shoulders now and I plait it at night to avoid too many tangles. Nits have only been an issue once and DS got them worse than she did, he has a number 2 all over!
Long hair, short or none at all, children are beautiful either way.
Your relatives are being very U.

TheWitTank · 04/12/2013 10:03

My DD has very long hair but it doesn't seem to be the general "rule" anymore-in her class (8 and 9 year olds) the girls have a range of 'dos from pixie crop and bob to bum length. I think a bob can look really nice, very tidy and smart. Some people just don't suit long hair! My friend has just cut her DD long hair into a short bob and its so much better.

bolderdash · 04/12/2013 10:09

My dd has a bob because she hates wearing any kinds of slides or tying it back. But she's pretty much on her own - I can't think of a single one of her friends who doesn't have long hair.

The sad thing is she'll probably never have bunches. She's getting too old for them now and I can't see her growing her hair long enough any time soon.

She's never had nits though.

DangerRabbit · 04/12/2013 10:12

Our 2 year old has short hair because it makes it easier to wash (she has a tantrum every time we try to wash it). I also have been very surprised by the number of people who think she's a boy, even when she's wearing a pink dress or something! I'm actually thinking of letting her grow it because of the number of people who mistake her for a boy so I hear what you're saying OP.

Fakebook · 04/12/2013 10:12

No way! My dd (6) has had an inverted bob since she was about 3. Before that it was just very short but not styled. She has very thick hair so she wouldn't be able to lookafter it if it was long. She always gets compliments about her hair when we go out.

A few stupid people have asked me why she doesn't have long hair, and I tell them she can have long hair when she can lookafter it herself.

It's also a good nit deterrent I've found.

ThurlHoHoHow · 04/12/2013 10:19

I keep hacking at my 2yo's hair. I just cut a good inch or so off the other day. It does suit her in a bob, one just long enough to tie into a ponytail, but to be honest it's more for me. It's just an arse washing and drying it! I've had comments too about it, friends were very surprised I wasn't just growing and growing it. I invited them to come and do bathtime at our house It doesn't even need brushing in the mornings or after a bath, it's short and fine and sorts itself out. So much easier.

If she wants longer hair when she's a bit older, she can have it - as long as she understands she has to wash it, brush it and dry it herself.

Though oddly I do get a bit put out when I see other toddler girls with long hair, I have an odd moment of 'not fair, their hair is growing quicker than DD's!' - until I remember that we've probably cut off 4-5 inches of hair over the past year. I think it's because DD has always had masses of hair, I've been so used to her having the most. All very stupid.

PenguinsDontEatPancakes · 04/12/2013 10:20

I love bobs on girls and I think that they look fab. DD1 has long hair, but it has just sort of happened that way rather than being a plan. And it's curly, so a fringe would be a bit of a disaster, meaning that if you cut it too short it gets in her way. Much easier to bung it in a tight plait for school! DD2 barely lets me brush hers, much less trim it, so she has a shaggy mullet (aged 2).

I hate the homogonisation of the female 'look' though. I am sure that, when I was a teenager, there was far more variety in hair styles and make up. Now there seems to be one acceptable look. And it's creeping down to younger and younger children.

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