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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About DD having school meal

67 replies

HavingAnOffDAy · 02/12/2013 21:56

DD(6) has a dance lesson straight from school tomorrow. Her friends mum will take her & drop her back at our house at around 5pm (we take turns every other week).

DD then has another event to attend with her Rainbow pack, which starts at 6:45pm. We need to leave our house at 6:30 in order to be there on time.

DH finishes work at 2pm tomorrow. He'll need to pick DS up from nursery but there's no school run to do due to said dance class.

DH told DD she'd have to have a hot school lunch tomorrow as she won't have time to have dinner between events.

I said she'd be fine with packed lunch (her preferred option) as an hour and a half is plenty of time for her to eat a hot meal & get changed.

Was IBU? DH has just done his nut saying I was contradicting him & letting her have her own way.

I honestly cannot see an issue. He has plenty of time to prepare her something & she has plenty of time to eat it.

I won't be home from work until 6pm tomorrow in case you're wondering Smile

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 02/12/2013 22:00

I think the problem is you attempting to control his time - it's up to him whether he can be arsed cooking for her in that time window yes?

I don't disagree with you that it's enough time btw - just that it's up to him if he's on point at that time.

LindyHemming · 02/12/2013 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/12/2013 22:01

Depends I guess. if he's home at two he could prepare you all dinner couldn't he? I think she's need a proper tea at tea time if she's got all that to do. I wouldn't trust a school dinner to be enough to last all day

CaptainTripps · 02/12/2013 22:03

Yep - as Euphemia said. I'd be annoyed and irritated too. And undermined.

AuntieStella · 02/12/2013 22:06

I think that if he's going to be in charge, you need to relax accept he will do things his way.

The only time to intervene is if you believe something to be dangerous or morally wrong. And the temperature of a couple of meals really isn't that important.

curlew · 02/12/2013 22:07

He's plainly daft- why can't he just either make something quick for her or something warmable up for all of you. But you are being unreasonable telling him what to do when he's O/C childcare.

Financeprincess · 02/12/2013 22:07

Agreed. Sorry OP, YABU.

AmandinePoulain · 02/12/2013 22:08

Is he going to give her anything to eat?! Because I wouldn't be happy with no meal at all, even if she'd had a big lunch. We had a similar situation last week with a rainbows trip after school, dd1 had a hot lunch at school because they were only having party food at the rainbows thing but at least she was having something - if not I would have made her a sandwich or something quick.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 02/12/2013 22:10

I agree with Euphemia too. Sorry.

Original poster
HavingAnOffDAy · 02/12/2013 22:10

Hmmm

Mixed responses. I can see it may appear controlling so agree with your point there. However he normally leaves any decisions/arrangements about the DCs up to me so I do normally have control.

I think she'd probably need a proper tea too - she only has a jacket potato whenever she has school dinner & I doubt she eats much of that.

OP posts:
Original poster
HavingAnOffDAy · 02/12/2013 22:12

And yes, something we could warm up when needed would be ideal, however I daren't suggest that to him now Grin

OP posts:
DirtyDancingCleanLiving · 02/12/2013 22:13

My dc have football practice on a Friday at 6pm. They always have their 'main' meal at lunchtime (ds1 has school dinners, ds2 will have something at home) and then just a sandwich/salad in the evening. Apart from being easier to just give them a sandwich, I always think that it's better for them to just have something lighter in their stomach just before all that exercise.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/12/2013 22:14

Does he know she doesn't eat much of the school meals? Cos if he doesn't then maybe just politely point it out. If he does then he's just being lazy and selfish and your dds gonna be hungry.

FunkyBoldRibena · 02/12/2013 22:15

Even if she had a hot lunch, he is planning to feed her a main meal between home and rainbows, surely?

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 02/12/2013 22:16

Up to him.

You are micromanaging him, do you not trust him to look after her in his own way?

Original poster
HavingAnOffDAy · 02/12/2013 22:17

She eats like a sparrow most of the time, so yes, he knows she won't eat much at lunch time.

And yes - I think he's planning to feed her something. Though I dispute that the four crackers with jam she'll ask for will fill her much Hmm

OP posts:
UC · 02/12/2013 22:36

This would really irritate me too, sorry OP. Let him sort it Hus way and stop telling him what to do/how to do it.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/12/2013 22:40

I think you all need to see past the "controlling" aspect and who's in the wrong or micro managing who, and see the dilemma for what it actually is. She has a busy day and her ninjutsu wants her to eat properly. A packed lunch that her mum can make sure contains what she eats and a homemade meal that her dad has plenty of time to cook vs very little of a jacket potato and some crackers which is all she will ask her dad for. No she won't drop dead but he's basically getting out of cooking a meal and ol will have to do it when she gets home after 6:00 when he's been home since two.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/12/2013 22:41

Excuse typos I have fat thumbs Blush

Her mum who

curlew · 02/12/2013 22:42

I'm sorry, OP, but your post made me laugh..
Mumsnetter "Am I being unreasonable?"
Mumsnet (collectively) "Yes"
Mumsnetter "Hmm. Mixed responses........"

Bedsheets4knickers · 02/12/2013 22:43

People seriously , he can prepare her a hotmeal, it's not interfering or undermining . A hotmeal is better than a sandwhich surely he has 90 minutes to stick something in the oven, even if it's fish fingers and chips beans. I think your all being abit harsh.

curlew · 02/12/2013 22:48

Why on earth is fish fingers chips and beans better than a sandwich and a glass of milk?

Original poster
HavingAnOffDAy · 03/12/2013 07:50

I said mixed responses as when I posted there was... Then there were more posts as I was typing my post.

I think he is being lazy. I didn't say that to him, as his response when I said she could have a packed lunch was to call me a shit mother. In front of DD.

I just wanted a reality check as to whether I really was being shit.

OP posts:
seventiesgirl · 03/12/2013 07:56

Being called a shit mother would make my blood boil. Only me can call myself that!

Daykin · 03/12/2013 07:57

It would annoy me if DP started meddling in what I was going to cook. I don't really get the hot meal obsession though.