Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About DD having school meal

67 replies

HavingAnOffDAy · 02/12/2013 21:56

DD(6) has a dance lesson straight from school tomorrow. Her friends mum will take her & drop her back at our house at around 5pm (we take turns every other week).

DD then has another event to attend with her Rainbow pack, which starts at 6:45pm. We need to leave our house at 6:30 in order to be there on time.

DH finishes work at 2pm tomorrow. He'll need to pick DS up from nursery but there's no school run to do due to said dance class.

DH told DD she'd have to have a hot school lunch tomorrow as she won't have time to have dinner between events.

I said she'd be fine with packed lunch (her preferred option) as an hour and a half is plenty of time for her to eat a hot meal & get changed.

Was IBU? DH has just done his nut saying I was contradicting him & letting her have her own way.

I honestly cannot see an issue. He has plenty of time to prepare her something & she has plenty of time to eat it.

I won't be home from work until 6pm tomorrow in case you're wondering Smile

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 03/12/2013 09:29

He is BU in thinking school 'hot meal'= filling. This bonkers belief that school 'hot meal' = job done. It's OK to have two 'hot meals' a day. Or even two 'packed lunches'. As long as at one of them you know that your child will eat it all.

Exactly. He's being a lazy dick. He needs to stop gehinf so selfish and yelling abuse at someone when they point out he's wrong. He's very wrong. Getting out of cooking means more to him than his wife or dd and he wants the sympathy vote which your all giving him for having a wife that dares to point it out. Good you all allow yourselves to be walked over like that. Would you allow something to happen because "it won't kill them" to protect your darling husbands feeling of inadequacy? Me and dp disagree a lot over things. It's better to care enough to argue isn't it? Rather than keep the peace to the detriment of everyone else.

I'm seriously Shock that a wife wanting her dp to cook a meal rather than rely on school dinners to do his job for him is deemed so unreasonable. God forbid the little lady disagrees Hmm

TheXmasLogIn · 03/12/2013 09:45

Erm so the OP thinks her DH doesn't want to bother cooking for their DD in the evening, but she also mentions a DS who is collected from nursery at 2pm.

Will the DH also not be cooking for him?
Will he have had a hot meal at lunchtime?
Or am I right in guessing the DH is expecting OP to cook a meal for all of them (including the DH who has been at home since shortly after 2pm), after she gets in from work at 6pm?
Hmm

schokolade · 03/12/2013 09:49

The food issue aside YABU to contradict him in front of the DC. Ideally you should have waited until DD wasn't there and then brought it up with him. But no way should he have called you a shit mother - especially in front of the DC. I'd be taking that up with him.

It seems to me that what needs sorting out the most here is not undermining each other in front of the DC.

Original poster
HavingAnOffDAy · 03/12/2013 09:58

Curlew I think it says you're fab at getting your DD to try stuff like that Smile DS (2) has just become a fan of olives.

Because of both our working hours it tends to be DH taking the DC to school/nursery and me collecting them & giving the dinner.

On the odd occasion it's been left to DH to make dinner he gets by, usually with phone calls to me to ask how he should do things (including how to cook broccoli Hmm). I find that aggravating as he's an intelligent man, but it smacks of him not being bothered to think for himself.

I honestly don't mind what she eats, as long as she eats something that fills her up - so yes, soup & a roll, fish fingers etc would be fine. I don't mind if she has hot dinner at school & then another hot meal at home between dance & Rainbows. I know it wouldn't 'hurt' her to live on sandwiches for a day either.

I don't want DD to have to eat only half of something at school & then be hungry tonight because DH has dictated that she must have a school dinner due to after school activities.

This post is about food - I wanted to know if not insisting my DD have a school dinner made me a shit mum. Some of you clearly think it makes me a shit wife for interfering Grin

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 03/12/2013 10:06

op

You are amazing for having put up with a man who needs to call you in order for you to tell him how to cook broccoli!!

That is beyond a fucking joke. My dd could tell him that and she's 7.

Wine
Original poster
HavingAnOffDAy · 03/12/2013 10:12

Giles he can do it - he just doesn't want to think. He drives me nuts with his 'why think if I can ask' attitude

OP posts:
Original poster
HavingAnOffDAy · 03/12/2013 10:12

But thanks for the Wine Grin

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 03/12/2013 10:17

So what was the outcome ? Did she take a packed lunch today? :o

Original poster
HavingAnOffDAy · 03/12/2013 10:38

Of course she did Smile, he's as bad as they are at ineffective tantrums & sulking!

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 03/12/2013 10:45

Is that a good thing or bad thing :o

Well glad she got her packed lunch.

Original poster
HavingAnOffDAy · 03/12/2013 10:49

It was a good thing last night it meant once he'd stropped off to bed I could drink tea & eat chocolate in peace Smile

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 03/12/2013 10:49

:o

arethereanyleftatall · 03/12/2013 10:58

Agree with everything thepig said.

What a bizarre 'problem' to fuss over.

And I've never understood the obsession with hot food. Surely whether it's healthy or not us more important, and cold food often is.

However, calling you a shit mother is unacceptable.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 03/12/2013 11:07

I'm actually amazed people, grown people, parents who presumably function quite well on a daily basis need to be given instructions on what to feed a child?

How is it even possible that an adult doesn't know this?

And how the actual fuck does it not occur to a person with a family that if they get home at 2pm and the other person gets home at 6, then they should have sorted out done form of food for the family?

I don't care if you "can't cook"
Put chips and fish fingers in the oven. Or something

Who on earth gets home 4 hours before everyone else but doesn't think "oh, we all need to eat tonight"?

If you don't know how to boil broccoli without instructions, you cannot actually be an adult with a job. You are just lazy as fuck and want someone else to do it.

Gileswithachainsaw · 03/12/2013 11:09

It wasbt about whether it was hot though. It was about the dh insisting she had a meal that wouldn't really be eaten instead of a packed lunch and refusal to go any further than toast or crackers in the evening. The op would have been perfectly happy with a nice sandwich veg sticks hummus etc or a nice healthy cold tea. Jam and crackers isn't enough when the child didn't really eat lunch either.

And of course te fact he's home at two and had plenty of time.

moldingsunbeams · 03/12/2013 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gileswithachainsaw · 03/12/2013 11:17

I don't think "undermining " was the problem tbh. He certainly didn't care enough about that not to yell at her back.

The problem was his lazy arse plan had been foiled and rightly bloody so.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread