To feel this way?!

[Berzingaa]

I know I am, I feel I am yet I can't help but feel annoyed when my partner tells my LO off sad hmm We've been together 4/5 months and he's around my LO every day always playing with him. My LO loves him! Don't get me wrong I do to. We've moved fast but that's how I want it and I've never felt this way about anyone

Like today we went to Argos to pick his PS4 up whilst we where there LO being 18 months old and being just woken up was wanting to be held as soon as the woman comes over to him he's like "you can hold him" we'd been in the store 2 minutes and all he had to do was stand there and answer question. After 10 minutes LO gets a tad restless as he like to run around and he can't. I sit him on the side and every time he makes a sound or goes to touch something he just looks at me with that old "why can't he keep still and be quite" look.

Lo was touching the little charity pots on the side (the ones that have the slot in and are chained round the chip and pin machines) and he starts going "don't touch that" or "Stop" he's 18 months old he's not robbing them literally just touching them and putting the tip of a pencil in there and taking it back out again. He accidently knocked it off the side and my partner caught it so he looks at me with that look again and goes "see what happens when you let him play with things."

So I'm there trying to hold his arms away from anything he may find remotely interesting and keep him quite, which is VERY hard with my LO.

We get home and he starts all over again because LO is touching the box to his PS4 and the controller?!?! Seriously it's new he's excited he's not exactly going to pick it up and chuck it out the window is he!

I've been a Lone Parent since I found out I was pregnant and with my LO everyone always follows my orders down to the 'T' when it comes to my parenting but I seriously can't help but feel annoyed if someone else tells him off and I don't know why. If he's done something wrong believe me I'll come down on him and he will give you a kiss and a hug for a sorry.

How long did it take you all to get use to your partner telling your children off?

Icame I do see myself being with him in the future, I sometimes forget he doesn't have any kids so I do need to tell that 18 month olds do tend to touch stuff, be noisy etc

Waltermitty I get what you mean, I know that i need to get use to the idea that someone other than me is going to tell LO off if not my partner than, when he goes to school etc. Maybe I'm being over sensitive and i'm taking in a way it's not intended like in a harsh way? IFYGWIM

Thank you both

I think you sound just as immature as he is. Sounds like you want a father figure for your child but you're not prepared to let him do any parenting. He should be able to tell your child of if he is being naughty without you raising eyebrows. Messing about with charity boxes which are not there to be played with is naughty behavior in my book. I feel sorry for your boyfriend to be honest and there is no reason on earth why he should be the one to get up with your child, who he isn't allowed to tell off. If you don't want an equal partner then walk away because you're sure as hell not treating him equally.

And I'm not surprised that he got touchy that the child was touching his extremely expensive brand new games console. How hard would it have been for you to keep him away?

heartbroken
I do have a sister whom begs to have him and a mother that would love to. However where we both nearly died in child birth and then with my health I have IIH I could go blind, paralysed (Very rare) have brain damage. I'm scared that he'd do something and I'd miss it so far I've seen all of his 'first' and I suppose it's me being selfish that I feel like I need to be there for everything. If I think about leaving him I just feel guilty and fo the whole what if he hurts himself, what if he gets ill suddenly, taken etc.

The guy sounds like an utter arse.
He is immature & not ready to take on a baby.
Unless he can realise your child is being a normal inquisitive toddler then you should dump him.

JumpingJack He isn't "the one to get up with my child".

As I said he touched the box and the controller which was in the box whilst I went to the loo.

Only1 There wasn't a rush, If slowing things down rapidly is what's going to sort this than by all means that's what I'd do/what I'm going to do without a shadow of doubt.

Fwiw op, I don't think you deserve the pasting you were getting up thread, not sure how much use all the 'advice' to not introduce a man after four months is very useful when it has already happened!
I think you simply need to have a chat with your dp about what's annoying you, he may genuinely be unaware that you don't like it. unfortunately you will just have to get used to others disciplining your child if you don't set clear boundaries and let them know it is not acceptable to do so.
Oh and for everyone picking up on 'LO loves him...' my dn told our postie he loved him today, I'm not reading too much into that emotional attachment!

Op that's good to hear....I know you have some other issues as to why you don't want to leave dc with your ds or dm but maybe work on this. Go out and have a few proper dates with him....just for the evening ....in a few hours you are unlikely to 'miss anything' and realistically not be taken ill in just a short night out. With a willing dm and ds I would be snatching their hands off
Also I know I'm really ancient and going out for the evening 'dates' etc may sound really old fashioned and for that I apologise

I also don't think it's wrong for someone to reprimand your ds if they are being a little bit boisterous in public, I was often told off by shop assistants etc, my mum would thank them!

You seem to think that leaving your child is going to have a negative effect on him.

By going by the age of your child you have had two relationships in the last two and half years?

Let say that the current one ends now and you then meet someone else in the next year and this patten repeats itself, by the time your child is 18 years old they could have been through a minimum of 5 break ups.

You might well meet the man of your dreams, but by introducing your child so soon, you are immediately putting your relationship under a certain amount of pressure.

You can guarantee that this will have a major effect on how your child makes relationships and will cause massive damage.

In my mind the choice is quite simple, if you are going to insist that your dating timescales and introducing your son to men are fine, you either keep your sex life separate from your son or stop dating.

jammiedonut Thank you

Maybe he doesn't and I know I'm going to have to learn, I mean when he goes to nursery they'd tell him off when he was naughty lol I think it's defiantly learning to let someone else into do that.
My LO is rather fond of our postie, but that's because he hands him the letters and LO likes ripping them open haha

Chipped

No this is the only relationship I've had in at least 2 and half year.

You could say that about leaving LO but I just can't bring myself to leave him

If your son is 18 months old, you must have had sex with someone else in the last 2 and half years.

OP have you ever discussed your anxieties around leaving him? Your son I mean.

I think you could really benefit from some therapy to help you come to terms with your birth trauma, your illness and your anxiety surrounding other people playing a significant part in your child's life.

I'm not going to pass comment on your fast moving relationship as I think it is just a symptom of your fragile emotional state, and lord knows we've all made less than ideal decisions when we're in a bad place.

YY to 1scoop. Try and start being away from your son for periods (small amounts and build up), so that you will not be so anxious about being away from him.

Start going for 'dates' with just you and your bf - coffee/lunch etc at first, whilst you're getting used to leaving your son with your mum.

Build up to letting your mum babysit of an evening so you can have evening dates.

In the immediate term, have a proper chat with your bf about how you've noticed that he gets a bit irritable when your son's behaving in a way that you don't think requires a telling off. It doesn't have to be confrontational, just chatty - say you've been thinking it's moving quite fast and you're wondering if he's feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all. If you decide to go down the route of trusting yourself to be away from your son (leaving him with your mum), then explain to your bf that you hope to be able to start spending time just as a couple occasionally.

The best thing all round is to be open and honest, don't simmer inwardly - it doesn't have to be a big confrontation. And yy to the posters who said you have to make the boundaries clear from the off.

chipped I conceived my son when I was 18 I slept with a friend on a night out we weren't In a relationship.

No I have never talked about leaving him, I'll defiantly give it a think, I need to start leaving him but will take some of your tips about how to go about it

Thank you all