To feel this way?!

[Berzingaa]

I know I am, I feel I am yet I can't help but feel annoyed when my partner tells my LO off sad hmm We've been together 4/5 months and he's around my LO every day always playing with him. My LO loves him! Don't get me wrong I do to. We've moved fast but that's how I want it and I've never felt this way about anyone

Like today we went to Argos to pick his PS4 up whilst we where there LO being 18 months old and being just woken up was wanting to be held as soon as the woman comes over to him he's like "you can hold him" we'd been in the store 2 minutes and all he had to do was stand there and answer question. After 10 minutes LO gets a tad restless as he like to run around and he can't. I sit him on the side and every time he makes a sound or goes to touch something he just looks at me with that old "why can't he keep still and be quite" look.

Lo was touching the little charity pots on the side (the ones that have the slot in and are chained round the chip and pin machines) and he starts going "don't touch that" or "Stop" he's 18 months old he's not robbing them literally just touching them and putting the tip of a pencil in there and taking it back out again. He accidently knocked it off the side and my partner caught it so he looks at me with that look again and goes "see what happens when you let him play with things."

So I'm there trying to hold his arms away from anything he may find remotely interesting and keep him quite, which is VERY hard with my LO.

We get home and he starts all over again because LO is touching the box to his PS4 and the controller?!?! Seriously it's new he's excited he's not exactly going to pick it up and chuck it out the window is he!

I've been a Lone Parent since I found out I was pregnant and with my LO everyone always follows my orders down to the 'T' when it comes to my parenting but I seriously can't help but feel annoyed if someone else tells him off and I don't know why. If he's done something wrong believe me I'll come down on him and he will give you a kiss and a hug for a sorry.

How long did it take you all to get use to your partner telling your children off?

Can't you get a baby sitter in the evenings once he's asleep? Have your partner over once he's asleep, make sure he doesn't stay over. Or wait until he's older and having sleepovers with grandparents / friends?

I agree with Bloob.

I agree with Jitney, 4 months is far too soon to be forcing a 'happy family' situation IMO.

It surely should take some time for everyone to grow used to each other and become a new family unit?

If you are to end up staying a family unit for the future, then surely the other partner must have a role as parent too, including discipline? This is why it shouldn't be such a rushed thing.

If he is being snippy and unreasonable in your opinion after only 4 months, then you need to have a good think about what he'll be like in 4 or 14 years time tbh.

Also, as a mother, when my children were 18 months they were not allowed to run around shops or touch and play with things; they were given the 'look' and told firmly to stop if they carried on and if they carried on from there they were removed from being annoying to others.

I could of been in a relationship with him a year, introduced him then split up with him. I am by NO way's "fucking my child up" It took me a year to get with him because of that exact reason. My LO comes first in everything I do and that will never change.

Kerwhizzed No other man has been involved in my LO's life apart from his dad whom saw him for 95 minutes and terrified him. How would you date/be in a relationship when you never leave your LO?

bloob I don't leave my LO with anyone, not even my mum (we both nearly died, I also have a Neurological which means potential brain surgerys etc) personal choice I know but It's more of a fear that he's going to do something of his first and I'm not going to be there.

Maybe splitting up would be the best interest however going by that LO will be 18 before I meet anyone lol

I would do what I actually do now and put my child first for a while and wait until I had the opportunity to use babysitters to watch dd rather than dragging her along in my quest for a man. I don't date currently because that's my situation. No one to watch her, no dad on the scene. I can wait to date because her safety and stability is more important to me than having a new relationship. Not everyone puts men before their children.

What kerwhizz said. Lol.

FWIW I think even if LO was 18 months or 8 years the thought of someone else telling him off annoys me and it could be anyone which is something completely unreasonable I know.

I think it's me because I'd get annoyed if you put LO's plate in a different place or fold mine and LO's clothes up a different way. I don't think I'm meant to be a "couple" person lol

Kerwhizz NO man comes before my child thank you. I can wait to date all I like however I still wouldn't let someone else look after my child I'm not dragging my LO in a quest for anything I've fought long and hard for what's best for my LO and I'm proud of that. I came on here for advice not for some to try and judge me

You sound as if you "need" a boyfriend.

Why is that?

Why can't you just be happy with you and your child for awhile? I split with my dc's Dad about 9 months ago. There's no way I would introduce another man into their lives after four months. No way.

And I don't feel the need to have a man. And I think that's your problem. You're saying you put your LO first, but if that were true you'd be concentrating on him, rather than ensuring you have a boyfriend. Your need for a boyfriend does not trump your child's need for an attentive mother.

These situations mightily piss me off - it smacks of immaturity and being a bit reckless as a parent.

I can wait to date all I like - so why not do that then?

I've fought long and hard for what's best for my LO - but now you're undermining that by introducing your manchild boyfriend into his life after four months.

I was extremely happy with just me and my LO, I set up home as just me and my LO which it still is just our home. This is the only relationship I've been in since before my LO was born which is still by personal choice.

I concentrate on my LO. We do nothing but play all the time. The only time we're apart is when he's in bed.

I fail to see how I'm being a reckless parent when I take full care of my Lo. I could quite easily palm my LO off on every Tom, Dick and Harry and go out with my friends because I'm still "young" However I don't because my LO comes first

I get the feeling this tread will be:

OP: AIBU
Everyone: Yes
OP: No I'm not
Everyone: Yes you are
OP: Fine, your all nasty / bitchy / picking on me. I'm off.

I can't help but judge you. I dislike women who put their desperation to have a man around before their child's stability and safety and bleat on about doing the best for their child when they blatantly aren't.

You are being reckless by allowing your child to get an attachment to a man you've been with for four months. How soon must you have introduced them for him to love him already? Reckless parenting extends into emotional support and damage as well as the basics.

Heartbroken That's why I came here for Advice on this current situation Not for how other think I parent or how someone who's never met me thinks I'm a reckless parent who couldn't give a damn about their child.

I wanted advice on how I can handle this, If other parents whom had been a Lone Parent from the beginning had any "issues" with letting someone "discipline" however mild or heavy their child. What I could do regarding the situation where that be sucking it up and getting use to the idea that someone else no matter how I like it will discipline my child or how I can speak to him about it.

Listen OP....I personally see nothing wrong in having a partner if you're also a parent. I DO however see a problem when you're not open to hearing their opinions on parenting IF you are expecting them to spend time with you and your son.

If you want a long term relationship then find someone who has the same parenting style as you do....if you're in it for the fun then don't mix parenting with partners.

What you say about your boyfriend not liking your DS playing with the charity pot...I totally relate to him....whether it can hurt him or not it is not meant to be played with because it's full of money that does not belong to you....if there was no cash in it...if it was just a pen on a string then fine...but the pot contains charity money and therefore is not your possession to allow as a plaything.

That aside...as I say, find a partner who parents the same way you do.

People are offering you advice, you just don't like what they are saying.

Do you see him as a long term prospect or not? Can you see you marrying him in a couple of years? If not then get rid. There's your advice and I expect most of MN will agree.

Just because you've never left your child with someone, that doesn't make your situation with your boyfriend right.

My children stay with my parents regularly (two of them were there this evening, actually, while I took the other to a party) and have had regular sleepovers with friends/cousins. Do you somehow think this makes you a better parent than me?

The situation with introducing your child to a stroppy child of a man, who is uninterested in your child (to say the least, by the sound of things) and is more interested in his PS4, is morally wrong.

Do you think this is the first thread like this to crop up on here? Do you think your situation is somehow unique? I've read your story so many times it's untrue.

You've asked for advice. We're giving it. Here it is again:

You introduced your boyfriend to your child too early and your boyfriend is not interested and does not want to play Daddy. Stop trying to force it. Stop thinking your child 'needs' a Daddy and that any Daddy will do. Focus on you and your child and make sure that the next man in your life is worth bringing into your child's life too.

Chipped That's not how this post is going to be.

Kerwhizzed As I said I've known him longer than 4 months. Not on a intimate level but I did know him, we did talk.

Would you know someone for a year, date someone for Idk a year and then introduce your LO to them? Or would you because you've know then already for a year introduce him to your LO sooner than as if you didn't know him?

How would you date/be in a relationship when you never leave your LO

I wouldn't be. When my children were young and I was a single Mum, I just didn't have a relationship because the fact that I had a young child meant my life wasn't in a place that was conducive to a relationship. I waited, and now I'm happily married.

OP, hate to be the one to tell you this, but your son irritates your boyfriend. No one will find your toddler as cute as you do, and while your boyfriend might put up with the presence of a toddler when he's four months into a cushy new relationship, his irritation is only going to grow.

And no one would have a problem with you palming your child of to every Tom Dick or Harry using childcare. Plenty of people do it because they have to work anyway.

OP - if you fancy some advice in dealing with your current situation, I think it's worth sitting down with your fella and kindly telling him how you feel. Explain that it has just been you and your kid for ages, and that you're struggling with him telling your little one off.
Tell him that at this stage, you would prefer to be the one who handles the discipline, and that of course as your relationship progresses that will undoubtedly change...but you need to be the one in control from that pov for the time being.
See what he says?

Knowing someone for a year is not the same as being with someone for a year. I've known my ex since we were children, I mean, literally since he was 7!

We knew each for 10 years before we got together. Did I 'know' him? Did I heck! And also, a year is not that long a time, not really.

It wouldn't matter how long I'd known someone for - if they behaved like a child over a games console, they wouldn't play a part in my dc's lives.

Personally, I can't see myself being ready for dating for a long time. And when I am, I will be very, very bloody fussy and choosy and will need to be 100% sure of someone before they even meet my dc as a friend of mine, never mind as a boyfriend.

And folks - I do think that's quite enough of slating her situation now. That's not what she came here for. We've all said our piece, and she actually doesn't have to justify her choices to us.

Why are people saying he's a stroppy child of a man and a "man child"

All he did was point out that the OP's child was playing with something he shouldn't be.