To be having a bit of a breakdown! Please help me.

[grapelovingweirdo]

Sounds dramatic but it's true!

Anyone familiar with my posts will know that I have posted about my DP a few times.

I have always wanted to live and work in a certain city. Since I was in my teens, the industry I work in is very centred around this city as well.

I'm working in the same field but in a town about two hours away. Recently I applied for a job in this big city and I have just received a very nice offer.

The problem is, my DP says that we would have to split up if I went, even though I have said i will be home every weekend and will give it a trial.

I love him so much, even through all the hurt. I don't want to lose him. I also know I will hate myself if I don't go for it.

I have always not done things because of boyfriends and its time I did something for me.

My mum says I'm being selfish but all my friends who know my DP are saying the opposite.

I can't stop crying. What the hell am I going to do?!!!

I'm really sorry but he sounds like a right royal prick. To not even sleep in the same bed as you is ridiculous - immature, controlling and selfish. If he had your best interests at heart then he would support you.

Go for the job and don't look back (and congratulations btw!)

OOOMMMMGGGG!!!!
Dump him.
You know you need to.
He's a controlling abusive arsehole!
The sooner you realise this the better.
Do NOT commute. Go and live your dream without this horrible vile man.
As a previous poster said - please try the freedom programme. You can do it on line.
You need to understand why you are putting up with this knob of a man.
From what your mum said to you - I think it helps to explain quite a lot.
Get out and away from him.
YOU dump HIM!!! See how he likes that loss of control.
Congrats on the job.
You really are very lucky to get this opportunity.
There are not many people who get to live out their dream.
Most of us are stuck in offices doing other things that were NOT our dream. Grab it with both hands and do it properly (without fuckwit!)

Oh, OP, I really feel for you. Believe in yourself, believe that you deserve this chance and that you would foolish to turn it down.

Your DP sounds so much like my ex. What you have to do now is to brace yourself for him to play the victim and to wail and gnash his teeth. My ex would turn on the water works but it was always about him, him, him.

My lovely DH, on the other hand, has a different story. Him and his then GF met at uni, both went home after graduating (to different parts of the UK), had a long-distance relationship for 3 years and then he moved to her part of the UK. They broke up 2 years later but he gave her the chance to pursue her career and they broke up for various reasons: mainly because they'd tried to settle down too early, too young.

So you see, your first big love is not your last big love and you will find happiness with a dream job, in a city you love, surrounded by friends who LIKE YOU - which is more I can say about your current DP.

Please be strong whilst you relocate and believe me, you won't look back. Make a clean break. The other posters are right. Don't even try to commute. Sleep on friends' floors whilst you find a flat and heave a big sigh of relief that life will now be on your terms.

Take the job. Don't commute. You don't have to dump the bloke now but see how you adapt to the change and then how he adapts to the change. You can then decide if he's someone you need in your life.

If he really cared for you he would want to support you and would be willing to make some compromises. The fact he has just said you will have to split up without any other options says to me he isn't that bothered about the relationship. Go. Follow your dream. You will be happier. And if you want to, find someone who loves and supports you rather than trying to hold you back for their own selfish reasons