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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this person is faking illness

117 replies

BlancheDubious · 02/12/2013 14:49

I'm acquainted with someone who constantly has drama in their life, usually centred around their own health. This has been going on since she was about 14 and she's now in her 20s.

As a teenager she had 'seizures' which were investigated to the Nth degree and no cause was found. Her teachers and some immediate and extended family believe they were faked for attention.

Now she is claiming to have 'allergic reactions' which cause her to collapse. It is all on Facebook to make sure everyone knows. She manages to fly around the world on holiday but always seems to have to visit the local hospital wherever she is travelling as she has collapsed.

Her latest 'allergic collapse' apparently necessitated CPR, heart massage, defibrillator etc. but she was home posting about it on Facebook the next day. AIBU to think that you'd be kept in longer for such a huge event and therefore it can't be true?

OP posts:
CrapBag · 03/12/2013 14:47

Beyond I also worry that's how people see me, then I think that I don't really care what others think as long as those closest know, although I am fairly sure they still don't 'get' it.

However even though I am in that camp, I am still convinced that the person I know is putting it on to a degree. I think she does have something but I would put money on it isn't anywhere near as bad as she makes out. It just doesn't fit (given that we have the same illness, apparently) and I know more than many how this illness works.

Grennie · 03/12/2013 15:20

I would never think this of anyone generally. The people I know who have faked illness

  1. Went to prison for fraud because of it
  2. Admitted to me he had faked it
  3. Told so many lies and contradictory stories that she was either faking it, or very strange.
tolittletoolate · 03/12/2013 16:15

My friend that I have mentioned earlier on in this thread has got MS, I know he has because I used to be his carer and I have read his medical notes and been to the doctors with him.
He isn't dying even though he tells everyone he is. It's like being in a wheelchair isn't enough for him it has to be worse!
His own family even think he's faking not being able to walk :(

Mumstheword1976 · 03/12/2013 16:16

I knew a woman just the same. It was very draining to be her friend through her copious mystery illnesses. Then her child started getting random illnesses too. Always needing medical care, and she claimed her child was special needs though seemed fine to me. She was investigated by ss and her child removed. I am no longer in contact. No arguments just deleted her number and fb. Couldn't deal with the drama.

Grennie · 03/12/2013 16:19

My Auntie said for 40 years that she didn't have long left. She didn't fake an illness, she just used to claim that every Christmas would be her last. She died at 87.

Grennie · 03/12/2013 16:25

Another friend told me about their ex DP, who I have never met. Apparently her DP used to end up in A and E with terrible abdominal pain demanding pain killers. She was there when staff accused her DP of faking, and she was outraged. It apparently took her a while to realise her DP was actually addicted to strong painkillers, and so faked illnesses to get hold of them.

I always remember being in A and E about 25 years ago. There was a man sitting in the waiting room holding his abdomen and groaning loudly in pain. I, and others in the waiting room, were concerned that he was just being left there. Eventually I went to talk to the receptionist, who looked bored and just said, we will see him later. I thought they were awful. It is only when he stood up and walked to the toilet without much sign of pain, that I wondered if the hospital knew him, and that he was in fact faking it.

Elfhame · 03/12/2013 16:44

I knew a woman like this. She was the most selfish, manipulative person I have ever had the misfortune to know. Always wanting attention for her latest drama or illness but never giving a shit about my life. She is a deeply damaged person but has made no attempt to change. She loses friends and then just moves on to the next person she can manipulate. I, and quite a lot of other people, no longer have anything to do with her.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 03/12/2013 17:40

I know a woman who claims to have fibro who actually doesn't, but fakes it so she doesn't have to work - I'm one of the only people who knows this. To read her facebook you'd feel terribly sorry for her, when in fact she's very active, has a great social life and has none of the pain she claims she has. Which is terrible really as I've worked with real fibro sufferers and it seems bloody awful. Especially as there's no recognised diagnosis or treatment.

LowLevelWhinging · 03/12/2013 17:46

how do you know she's faking Baubles ? Just nosey

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 03/12/2013 18:08

my relative has two ways of moving: his performance when he thinks someone is looking (think standing/sitting like someone very old/in pain) and when he forgets...

...which is like a normal thirty something. it is really obvious. that said, he does have a real MH problem

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 03/12/2013 18:55

She told me lowlevel. I'd mentioned how I thought she was amazing the way she handled everything so well, think I may have guilted her into telling me the truth.

deepfriedsage · 03/12/2013 19:10

How interesting three of us on this thread with PoT s

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 03/12/2013 19:16

To be fair I do think it's bloody horrible when people think you're faking stuff. I have both mental and physical illnesses that make it hard for me to go to work and college sometimes. I get comments like 'I wish I could just not bother attending and not get into trouble for it'. They just don't realise what it's like at all, because on the outside I seem bubbly and happy.

LowLevelWhinging · 03/12/2013 21:01

bloody hell baubles

what exactly do you do with that info? I mean on a personal level, never mind grassing up or anything!

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 03/12/2013 21:06

lowlevel I honestly was gobsmacked and couldn't say anything else to her. I've barely spoken to her since. It infuriates me. The time, the resources spent on her. The pity she gets.

She's had a stairlift fitted, has had her bathroom specially adapted... all sorts. All this stuff that some families have to fight tooth and nail to get.

deepfriedsage · 04/12/2013 08:39

There is something wrong there getting a stairlift etc when not needed. I watched a program once, I guy got hoists in his flat, pretended he couldn't move to get benefits, they caught him out, one bit of evidence was the hoist was unused. I would report her, there will be people out there who need an adapted home if she doesn't own it, it can be given to someone in need.

Jinty64 · 04/12/2013 13:56

I know a girl who had seizures as a teenager. She could apparently "bring them on herself". Extended family, teachers and drs said it was for attention. Turned out she was being sexually abused and had been since she was very little.

No happy teenager would do this. You should feel sympathy not annoyance.

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