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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this person is faking illness

117 replies

BlancheDubious · 02/12/2013 14:49

I'm acquainted with someone who constantly has drama in their life, usually centred around their own health. This has been going on since she was about 14 and she's now in her 20s.

As a teenager she had 'seizures' which were investigated to the Nth degree and no cause was found. Her teachers and some immediate and extended family believe they were faked for attention.

Now she is claiming to have 'allergic reactions' which cause her to collapse. It is all on Facebook to make sure everyone knows. She manages to fly around the world on holiday but always seems to have to visit the local hospital wherever she is travelling as she has collapsed.

Her latest 'allergic collapse' apparently necessitated CPR, heart massage, defibrillator etc. but she was home posting about it on Facebook the next day. AIBU to think that you'd be kept in longer for such a huge event and therefore it can't be true?

OP posts:
pointyfangs · 02/12/2013 22:48

I am very [hmm} about your intent, OP. Because I have a close friend who is this person. She has adrenal insufficiency, which is a life threatening condition which will necessitate the call out of the blue lights with all the kit. And yes, she will be up to posting on FB the next day (though not up to anything else).

Don't be so quick to judge.

Grennie · 02/12/2013 23:04

That is the problem pointy. There are so many rare disorders which do cause unusual symptoms. So nobody wants to be horrible and wrongly think someone is faking illness. But the reality is that some people do fake it.

AngelaDaviesHair · 02/12/2013 23:04

No idea if you are right about the illness. But hange your focus. If the vulnerable person is paying out money s/hehasn't got, concentrate on trying to stop that.

newfavouritething · 02/12/2013 23:11

I've had several anaphylactic reactions - as soon as I got to the hospital and got treated I recovered really quickly and always went home the same day. And I did travel a bit about 12 months after the last major attack, but just made sure that I always knew where the closest hospital was and carried a couple of epipens and an adrenalin inhaler at all times.

newfavouritething · 02/12/2013 23:13

So yes, YABU - forgot that bit!

Valdeeves · 02/12/2013 23:17

Hi Blanche

I think you are writing about me!!
Ha ha. But seriously I have some help for alot of you on this thread: please see the website: SYNCOPE TRUST AND REFLEX ANOXIC SEISURES ( STARS)

Ok here we go:

Always poorly and hyper sensitive as a child, unknown fits for years
yet physically very fit - swimming, dancing three times each a week.
I extensively travelled, ending up in numerous hospitals around the globe!
Them finally in my 20's they found I had a rare condition that made my heart stop when under physical or mental pressure. Or both.
I had a pacemaker implanted, balanced my diet and back to normal.
Admittedly I didn't yammer on about it on fbook but I have done some TV and newspaper stuff to promote awareness.

ZombieMonkeyButler · 02/12/2013 23:24

This person DOES have an illness. If not a physical one, then a mental one.

An illness all the same.

Go easy.

Grennie · 02/12/2013 23:26

It is well recognised that some people fake epileptic seizures.

msmoss · 02/12/2013 23:33

So are you concerned that this person is faking illness in order to con a vulnerable person into giving them money?

lovefifteen · 02/12/2013 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LessMissAbs · 03/12/2013 00:00

If she always has to visit the local hospital when she is on holiday abroad after collapsing, it is likely to be untrue - because (a) she's making it very difficult to be verifiable and (b) her travel insurance would be sky high and probably prohibitively expensive for travelling. Even if the incidents hadn't happened in this country.

The UK is overtly pc about possible disabilities. Note that I say possible. Usually fakery involves "grey area" issues that are impossible to disprove. Munchausens can and does include acting and faking - such as self wounding and then rubbing dirt or chemicals into the wound to cause infection, faking urine supplies, etc..

Of course this then brings us to mental health causes - which again is over-diagnosed by amateurs and does no favours to those who genuinely suffer mental health concerns. I am dubious if it hasn't been diagnosed by a medically qualified doctor under DSMIV or the even newer, wider DSMV. If its that bad, then why has it not been diagnosed so that it can be treated?

Often overlooked is the people who have to put up with the possible non-disability attention seeking hypochondria - it can be exceptionally trying and stressful - so if we are going to be perfectly pc, you can argue that no-one should criticise your comments because the behaviour might cause you stress, which might result in a disability!

Others prefer to use basic common sense, instinct and make their own minds up, especially when its seems unbelievable that so many unbelievable happenings occur to one person.

Grennie · 03/12/2013 00:06

That is true about the insurance. As someone with health problems who has never visited a hospital abroad. my premiums are already high. Hers would be unaffordable.

SugarMouse1 · 03/12/2013 00:20

Well, she might well have munchausens.

You should still have some pity

Surprised her GP hasn't read all her records and put two and two together?

What kind of countries is she visiting? some foreign healthcare is awful! I can't believe she'd want that

Is she wealthy? I'm surprised travel insurance would keep paying out for all this stuff and going to hospital in the US for example, would cost a fortune.

If she is doing it for attention- don't give her any when she does it. Advise her family not to either. Don't ask her about her illness, send cards/flowers/chocolates/visit in hospital. Just business as usual.

PenelopePipPop · 03/12/2013 00:20

"It is well recognised that some people fake epileptic seizures."

In what sense? I have epilepsy and I'd imagine faking to the point you could convince a medical professional you were having a tonic clonic would be really hard. I can't even imagine faking one of my own seizures and I've had loads of the fuckers (though obviously unconsciousness would put me at a disadvantage).

On the other hand a lot of people suffer non-epileptic attacks, either triggered by dissociative responses to earlier stress or trauma, or for other physiological reasons like hypoglycaemia. These can look and feel like epileptic seizures, are not caused by too much electrical activity in the brain so are not epilepsy, but certainly don't count as faking. And they often cause injuries just as seizures do. Even worse some studies suggest people who have them suffer more disability than people with epilepsy.

It is dangerous and stigmatising to promote the idea that people commonly fake epileptic seizures. It is theoretically possible that people could consciously do it for attention but no one really knows how often that happens. It is certainly true that some people have symptoms which look like epilepsy but are not. But lots of serious medical conditions are defined in terms of what they are not (pseudo-tumor cerebri, pseudo-gout) but are not faked.

Grennie · 03/12/2013 00:24

Penelope - I did not say it was common for people to fake epileptic fits. I said it was well recognised that this does happen. And I have read quite a bit about it as I have a friend who when young faked seizures. He was prescribed medication. Several years later he admitted he had faked them to avoid driving a car his parents had bought him. So yes, it does happen.

AchyFox · 03/12/2013 00:26

But don't you want to talk to her about it, even if it is just to establish whether she has a condition or not ?

I tend to like people for who they are not what illnesses they do or do not have.

lougle · 03/12/2013 07:06

One person you know who faked seizures doesn't make it common!

When I was collapsing, I happened to be hooked up to monitors once. The doctor said 'if it's epilepsy, it's atypical' because my vital signs reacted differently than expected. You can't fake a lowering blood pressure with a rising pulse. You can only induce a rising blood pressure and pulse, or a risen pulse with no change in blood pressure, etc.

Grennie · 03/12/2013 07:58

Lougle - For the second time, please read my actual comment. I never said it was common for people to fake fits. I said it was commonly recognised by medics that some people do fake fits.

Original poster
BlancheDubious · 03/12/2013 09:27

For those on those thread who think I'm referring to them, well clearly I'm not as you actually have the symptoms and you know that within yourself.

She was checked for diabetes, hypoglycaemia, epilepsy, etc, etc, and nothing found. I do know too well about adrenal insufficiency and she doesn't have that.

I am just very hmm about someone who has an allergy to something as yet unknown which necessitates a defibrillator but is able to fly 24 hours to Malaysia. What if something happened on the plane? I still think it's utter bollocks.

She's not wealthy at all, other than what she cons out of the elderly which presumably funds the trips!

OP posts:
lougle · 03/12/2013 09:31

"It is well recognised that some people fake epileptic seizures."

You're splitting hairs, really, aren't you?

lougle · 03/12/2013 09:33

So cause it to hit the fan! If you feel that strongly, call her on it and hope that it's not true.

I have a relative who, for years was said to be a malingerer. No, it turned out that she actually had systemic lupus which had until the point of diagnosis gone undetected.

Weegiemum · 03/12/2013 09:58

I sometimes wonder if people think that of me Sad

I have had problems with mental health since my teens, suffered a very rare kidney problem in pregnancy and now have been diagnosed with an incredibly rare neurological problem. I also have RA and had a prem menopause.

While I've been ill some friends very swiftly vanished - and I've wondered if I'm saying I'm physically ill, but they know I have a MH problem, they just blame it on that.

Dumpylump · 03/12/2013 09:58

I am vaguely acquainted with someone who faked being in a coma for several days. She was eventually admitted to a psychiatric hospital for a spell, and seems better now.
She has a sister who now has nothing to do with her, a fact which she moans about to anyone who will listen (although she doesn't say why her sister is so "cold, uncaring, spiteful, etc).
Now, I agree that acquaintance was indeed ill - albeit, not in a coma - but I also completely understand why her sister no longer speaks to her, as I can imagine how distraught she must've been, how worried their parents were, how they rushed to support her dh and their children......and, it wasn't true.

lougle · 03/12/2013 10:12

I'm amazed that she was able to fake a coma, Dumpylump. She must have a very high pain threshold - the tests that are carried out to assess conscious level are quite brutal!

Grennie · 03/12/2013 10:20

She maybe was catatonic. People with catatonia do not react to pain. It is a psychiatric condition.

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