Is "I was pissed" a good enough excuse?

[neiljames77]

My DW has kissed another man in front of me (and the kids) twice now, once on holiday and once with my best mate more recently at a party at our house. Each time a bad row has happened but she said I don't shower her with compliments like other men do with their wives. When I asked for examples, all the blokes she named had cheated on their partners because they were gobby bastards with the gift of the gab. I've been with her for over 20 years and haven't cheated.
It's just a general wondering really. Does the truth come out with drink and really, she doesn't want to be with me?
I've had a drink which is why I'm asking this because I might not want to read your answers.

Does she ever go out with friends?
Do you ever wonder what she gets up to when you are not there?

Is the kissing just for your benefit, or is this what she does when she is showing restraint because of your presence?

You must feel so humiliated. Like she is making a mockery of you and your marriage. If I was doing this, my husband would be so ashamed of me, I dont think he could cope so patiently like you do. You seem to be a good man.

LTB

I think she's doing it as a 'me me look at me and how desirable I am' thing.

I think Relate would be a good idea so you can both get any problems out in the open and talk about them with someone else to guide you.

She may well feel horribly insecure about her desirability and have little confidence in herself because she sees you as the confident, extra friendly person in the relationship.

Good that she feels remorse and I'd say she's trying to put blame on you because she is ashamed and doesn't want to face up to the fact that she is the one in control of her actions.

I think this is fixable. She hasn't had an affair. She doesn't want you to leave her.

Some people just lose their inhibitions so much when they drink however she sounds childish and insecure does she really think they fancy her or that they are bored and she is making herself available. She needs to work on her self esteem and probably be a good idea to stop drinking for a while.

drink is an exacerbation, not an excuse.

sounds like you have bigger problems.