To find it a bit odd that DP's ex still wears her wedding ring?

[purpleroses]

That's it really. They've been divorced over 4 years and she lives with new DP too. Seems rather strange to me

So they'll not only be 2 Mrs (DpPsurname) but we'll both be wearing rings he gave us.

At least it's not the same ring, now that would be worth getting worried about.

It's her jewelry, up to her if she wears it.

Maybe she doesn't want to be seen as an unmarried mother.
Maybe she's just so used to wearing it, it hasn't occured to her to take it off.
Maybe she just sees it as a ring, no sentimental attachment.
By the sounds of it she's not hankering after your husband, so i wouldn't worry about it too much.
I'm sure if her DP proposes it will come off in a jiffy.

I think it is exceedingly tasteless!

Bonsoir , tasteless how?

Maybe she can't get it off? I've out on some weight since my wedding and although I could probably get my wedding ring off as it is bigger, I can't get my engagement ring off and that is in front of it.

I suppose she could get it cut off though in that situation.

Or maybe she just hasn't given it a minutes thought? I don't even notice I'm wearing my rings, so of DH and I split, I would probably continue to do so without realising.

Ooh how awful to be seen as an I married mother! Better to pretend you're still married to the guy you left.

She is odd op.

Unmarried!

I kept my name, same as dcs I also married pretty young,so married name is also my work name. Also my other surname is pretty unusual have a very common one now. I still have my wedding ring it was my late grandmothers.

I think it's weird.

I can understand that you may have memories, want to remember the life you had etc...in which case I can see why someone would keep the ring.

To wear it though? I can't see any reason for it. Tbh if df's ex wife kept wearing the ring after divorce i'd be more inclined to feel pity for her than jealousy or anything else.

Think some are being a bit harsh on the opening poster: she's getting married and her head is caught up with wedding and all it symbolises.
Also, if rings don't matter, why have them in the first place?
You know if rings really did mean nothing, why do people bother at all with having a wedding? Why not just sign the register and not exchange rings at all (damned sight cheaper!)
It could very well be that the ex still hankers after her ex-husband and, if so, the opening poster is right to be concerned about it. It's easy to say 'secure in the relationship' but life isn't that simple.

I suggest trying to get on good terms with the ex and ask her directly: if it's innocent and it means nothing, then the ex will say so. If she's not a bitch, she'll just say, 'Oh it means nothing. Honest'. She'd have to lack empathy to not at least realise why the opening poster is a tiny bit concerned and that will be end of it.

If it does mean something still, it will be written all over her face.

Maybe she likes it? I am wearing an old engagement ring currently, (on my right hand) as I couldn't get a decent price to sell it and I genuinely like it.

I think it's weird that my husbands ex still has his name (although we don't have it now anyway because he took on my name instead ) and kept her wedding ring, the photos and the dress and all the other wedding stuff when she was the one to break their vows over and over again and has 2 kids by her long term partner. But you know what I don't give a shit and it's none of my business

Yanbu. I would find it a bit odd.

The keeping his surname bit I wouldn't find odd even if they didn't have children. It's her surname by law.

My former head mistress kept her ex husbands surname after they divorced, I think it's been the better part of 30 years now. It's a great surname. She might have had it 20 years already by the time they split.

I think it must be really difficult for some people to acknowledge that your partner has a shared past that was nothing to do with youyou really know nothing about and you could drive yourself crazy trying to analyse this situation. Lots if examples in this thread about people still keeping and wearing jewellery that was significant to them. She may off course just be wearing it to wind you up and it's clearly working.I couldn't give a flying part if DP's Ex walked about in her wedding dress,dripping in every diamond that he ever bought her. Because I'm secure in my relationship. The issue IS yours and you can chose to let it affect you.

It's her hand, her ring, her choice. I don't understand why you're wasting brain space over this. Taking the emotional attachment aside, it's just a piece of metal

Yes, what Gobbin said.

What concern is it of yours what rings she's wearing ?

My rings are gold which I don't like so I wouldn't wear them but if they were platinum I would as the diamonds are lovely and I wouldn't give it a moments thought

Why are people determined to paint the op as insecure?

She is asking if she's unreasonable to think this woman is a bit odd.

It's her hand, her ring, her choice. I don't understand why you're wasting brain space over this. Taking the emotional attachment aside, it's just a piece of metal

This. I really don't get why you have a problem with it. It's fuck all to do with you.

I'd find it moderately odd but you won't get many people saying this as on MN the first wife is ultimately right in all things don't ya know
Seriously it would give me pause for all of 5 minutes then I'd forget about it. When I marry DP next year I'll have same surname as his ex but I'll be Dr not Mrs. To be fair I always think of Mrs DPs name to be his mum!

Yanbu- I think many people on this thread are being deliberately disingenuous.

She is not married to your dp, a wedding rig symbolises marriage so se has no business wearing it. You are soon to be married to him and you are therefore the only person who should be wearing his ring on the wedding finger.

To most people a wedding ring is symbolic - it isn't just another piece of jewellery - the posters above who believe it to be just a lump of metal are the strange ones in my opinion. It is also not the same as keeping a name as there are many practical reasons for that course of action and unless the ring is actually stuck few for continuing to wear a wedding ring when you are divorced from your husband by your own choice.

I don't necessarily think it is anything to worry about though as judging by this thread there are clearly some people who don't believe a wedding ring has any significance at all.

OP didn't just say it was odd though. She said she had a problem with it.

There are perfectly reasonable explanations for why XW both kept his name (professional identity, same name as DCs) and wants to keep wearing her ring (it's one of the nicest pieces of jewellery most of us will ever get and it usually only fits one finger) - so I wouldn't worry about it.

Monet, I think I would continue to wear my eternity ring. It symbolises the birth of my children.

I still wear my eternity ring because it represents our children

How does it represent your children? Did they give it to you?

Thanks for the views - I'm not feeling insecure in my relationship over it, or have any plans to make a big deal over it.

I just asked because I always understood that a solid gold band worn around your ring finger was not just another piece of jewellery. It's certainly not one I would go out and buy myself just because it was pretty, or expect to be given for any reason other than marriage. Absolutely not the same as an engagement or eternity ring worn on a different finger, which would seem quite normal.

Does sound like a few people know of older women who hold onto them because they feel they've achieved the "status" of married woman and don't want to lose it. Maybe she's just rather old-fashioned. She doesn't show any other signs of having desires over my DP so will just have to live with it I guess. I don't know her well enough to ask her why, though if the opportunity arises might casually see if DSD has any insight into it.

womble I think maybe because eternity rings are often given on the birth of a child?