To think this is the most stupid substitute I have been sent to date.

[Bunraku]

I ordered an electric toothbrush on sale in my tesco delivery. The toothbrush was out of stock and so they have sent me the replacement heads.

This thread is making me cry! In a good way obviously. Only I'm sitting in Asda cafe so I probably look like a right weirdo!

I was very upset when tesco once substituted my lovely on offer wine, with wine that I hate. I mean, don't they know?

LittlePrincess - maybe they thought that turkeys are vegetarians, so that counted?

Does anybody know whether the item picker decides what the substitute will be or is it a random computer generated type thing?

Wasn't there someone on here last week who said sainsburys had none of her chosen tampons so they substituted it for dairy milk.

That's the best I've heard but love the little wooden owls

About two years ago, first time shopping with Asda, I ordered prawn crackers to go with the chinese stir-fry dinner I was doing. They were substituted with Asda own-brand prawn cocktail shells (aka cheaper version of Skips). My face was ... the thought of scooping up a stir-fry with Skips makes me feel a bit queasy.

My favourite so far has got to be the pregnancy test/condoms substitution!!

Years ago before a computer did it and a real person picked subs my local (at the time) Sainsbury's was famed for substituting tampons with cotton balls and string…

My favourite one was a friend who had pre ordered a massive Christmas turkey and they sent her 4 pints of milk. She kicked of big style and they ended up taxi-ing one up from Devon to London in the middle of the night.

My ex ordered a bag of lemons from Sainsbury's and got lemon scented bleach instead.

These are brilliant! I have a chest infection and I'm sitting here shoulders shaking and wheezing just like Mutley from Wacky races.

Had this with yoghurt. I ordered low fat yoghurt and got NOTHING as a substitute. Yes, according to tesco there was not another yoghurt on the shelves that they could have supplied. Either something went wrong with their shelf stocking that day or there were a LOT of ladies with thrush......

This wasn't tescos fault but I needed 1 tbsp of semolina for a recipe once, I duly ordered said semolina after looking at the picture but not reading the description. The biggest bloody bag of semolina in the entire world arrived.

Hector, I did that with cumin seeds! I got a huge tub that took years to work through. I did it the other way with Christmas crackers. I got some from Ocado which seemed surprisingly cheap. I found out why when they arrived. They were miniature crackers, about 3" long. Gave us all a good laugh anyway.

My exercise ball punctured when I was pregnant so I ordered a replacement with the weekly shop as was relying on it due to bad spd.

When the delivery man turned up with a substitution of a hula hoop we both had a chuckle as I was 34 weeks at the time and no hula hooping would be going on any time soon :) I'm not even sure the hula hoop would have fitted round me

I ordered pasata the other week, which normally comes in a carton which is a pretty good size for recipes, we got hundreds of tiny, tiny cartons with about 20mls each in them. I can only assume all the big people had bought the one I usually get and they had to send out to the elf branch of ASDA to stock us up.

We had Oilatum bath stuff substituted for Vaseline.

Other than that it has generally be pretty sensible.

My favorite was when something was BOGOF and we ordered 6 and they only had 5. Dh took the order and didn't realise until I looked on the receipt. He phoned them up and they gave us them all free!

My tesco delivery driver used to roll his eyes at some of the subs as he had to manage the customers. He told me the worst one was an apple instead of some fags. The customer went ballistic. I can just imagine some nicotine deprived banshee shrieking "How the hell am I going to smoke this?" I would not be happy either with that.

Mine was some lamb shanks I had ordered for a special family dinner...substituted with value mutton mince hmm.. And another time 2 salmon fillets subbed with an entire enourmous side of salmon, which i happily portioned up and froze :)

I ordered lime curd and the substitution offered was lime shower gel

I'm sure there must be a competition between pickers for the oddest substitution!

I once ordered some chilli sauce and got tinned sardines in spicy tomato sauce.

The last one I had was 1 single pomegranate instead of the pomegranate and something or other scented Alberto Balsam shampoo and conditioner I'd ordered

I ordered some bayonet fitting light bulbs a few years ago and got sent screw in ones as a sub.

I want an owl.

I either get one carrot or one billion; this is down to user error though.

I had an awesome over-ordering of shopping when I came in from a night out. I ordered bread, milk cheese and all the wine. When the very clinking delivery arrived the next morning, I had some great subs for wine offers which had been substituted with some lovely, much nicer replacements.

At the pregnancy test/ condom substitution!

I once ordered a chicken and got southern fried chicken burgers instead, not so great for Sunday dinner!

Generally I find Tesco to be the worst for their substitutions. Asda seem to give you better stuff IME.

Whilst pregnant, I ordered pregnacare vitamins which got substituted with a box of tampons

Have also had Smash instead of potatoes, and carrot cake instead of carrots!

Never had any myself but someone on here once posted that they order Halal chicken and got bacon instead!

My sister ordered bog standard Tesco sparkling water and got San Pellegrino sparking water instead. Nice!