To think this is the most stupid substitute I have been sent to date.

[Bunraku]

I ordered an electric toothbrush on sale in my tesco delivery. The toothbrush was out of stock and so they have sent me the replacement heads.

I ordered that really easy garlic, would have been happy with own brand similar product or just actual real garlic. Really easy ginger is what I got, and what I still have intact in the cupboard. Let common sense prevail, Tesco staff!

I've had the no substitutions available for bread too. What Tesco, you didn't have a single loaf of bread, nothing?! Drives me mad. I now make sure I write if the type of bread I want is not available send me any other whole meal or brown loaf. I shouldn't have to though, surely it's common sense? Obviously not.

I remember someone on here ordered six eggs from Sainsbury's and got a small wooden owl instead.

I use a well known brand of hair dye in a light brown / dark blonde shade, have done for over a decade. Out of stock so Tesco substituted it for a different colour, jet black.
That's alright Tesco, I'll just completely alter my whole appearance?!

I'm sure a picker was on here once and said they don't see the original choice, only the suggested substitution, so don't blame the staff!

The computer programme clearly needs some work though.

I remember someone on here ordered six eggs from Sainsbury's and got a small wooden owl instead.

Brilliant!

Ordered a chicken and got 2lb of mushrooms instead

I got sent a pack of nappies instead of sanitary towels once & one unfortunate shop I had a kilo of peppers (we really don't like them that much ) but just one lonely carrot. It dawned on me later that, in their place I would briefly wonder why someone might want just the one extra large carrot and that my conclusion may not be flattering.

I really would have preferred a small wooden owl!

The eggs/ owl substitution is brilliant.

Who are these substitution picking people and do they not eat/ live.

Ordered a pint of fresh turkey gravy

Got- a tin of dog food - turkey chunks in gravy.

And this is why I'll never do online shopping

Though I might not complain about the wooden owl...

Didn't someone the other day get sent a bar of chocolate in place of sanitary towels? Genius.

What a Friday afternoon treat.
My cheeks were already aching when I reached the eggs/owl and then I got to the hair dye

I ordered some butternut squash soup and got a whole butternut squash as a substitution - DIY soup.

Surely the owl eggs one can't be true!! :o

My tesco delivery driver used to roll his eyes at some of the subs as he had to manage the customers. He told me the worst one was an apple instead of some fags. The customer went ballistic.

Ordered thyme, got coriander. You can just see the shelf picker going 'well, it's smelly green sh*t, isn't it'...

Ordered a luxury Taste the Difference swiss chocolate birthday cake for FIL; got 6 Cadburys swiss rolls...

Hester
'Surely the owl eggs one can't be true!! '

I don't even care if it isn't it's so funny

If the picker doesnt get to see the orignal choice, then how the hell are they meant to pick decent subs, let them see the original and see if they have an sense.

The eggs/owl one is class, and i would like to know that link was made.

Tesco, ten years or so ago. I ordered a tub of pistachio nuts. I got a packet of rich tea finger biscuits. I wondered if ginger nuts might have featured in somebody's thinking at some point in the process.

This thread has some marvellous examples (I think my favourite is Sleepingbunnies' tinned tuna being substituted by a Yom Kippur candle).

Most of the time they're fine, and I'll take the odd odd substitution in favour of actually having to go there myself. I quite like ocado substitutions as they'll occasionally upgrade me and you pay the same price.

OTOH, I once ordered veggie mince, got cow mince. Veggie burgers similarly were swapped, not for some other vegetable-based patty concept (such as the other type I had in my order, which were part of the same deal), but turkey burgers.

I once received a leek as a substitute for white seedless grapes! Not quite sure how they thought it was a good substitute? I mean apples/pears I could understand.

I ordered a pregnancy test and my substitute was condoms. A bit like closing the door after the horse has bolted (so to speak...)

Sainsbury's eggs are billed as "woodland" eggs, so we all theorised at the time that it was the "wood..." bit that had been picked up. Sadly original thread seems to have been in Chat.

Pre DCs I often used to buy one large carrot.

To grate into spagbol. (I don't much like boiled carrots, so did't want lots)

Now I have visions of tittering till staff.