To leave DCs home alone while I go for a run?

[Borntorun25]

I'm a long term lurker and have gleaned much good advice and also amusement from Mumsnet, but this is my first post. I suspect I am BU but would appreciate objective opinions please.
2 DCs, aged 11 and 9. Off school for 5 days hols (schools, not mine!). DC currently away from home for work.
I love running, have been doing for 8 years now and has majorly helped both physical and mental health. I get seriously twitchy if I miss.
I am self employed and arrange my hours so I can usually fit a run in during school time. If not possible I get up early before DH goes to work. Neither option possible currently.
DCs do sometimes run with me but neither want to today. We spent most of yesterday on beach and they just want to chill and play minecraft, etc on iPads today. We are going out this afternoon anyway so they will get fresh air then.
I would be gone for 40 mins. Have never left them this long before. Have only ever driven to nearest shop for paper/milk, max of 15-20 mins alone before. They would happily play on iPads for hours if left to own devices.
I suspect IABU, it's just such a lovely day here and the road looks sooo inviting.......
They are too young really, aren't they? Happy to be told so, then I will settle myself down!

I wonder why some women have children when all they want to do is carry on their lives as if they have none

Wow LaGuardia you are quite judgemental!

Perfectly normal to want to do something for yourself, especially when you have been a parent for TWELVE YEARS!

I wonder why some women have children when all they want to do is carry on their lives as if they have none

That comment is simply bizarre in this context.

The OP is hardly carrying on as if she doesn't have children. She would like to go for a run, for 40 minutes, not bugger off on holiday for two weeks leaving the children with some rola cola and a truck load of pot noodles.

This entire thread is bizarre.
Feom the footprints all ober the pavements (do they leavethem as litter obernight or do they do the jjourney twice, once to lay out and once to collect in order that their childre do it once without them?) To the poster who leaves her 5yo alone to the people who have been prosecuted for leaving a 13yo alone...

Oh and the icing on the cake, the dont have childeen unless you are prepared to sacrifice every element if your life and identity to them for the next two decades

Laguardia
I agree Errol completely out of context with the thread .

DD1 is almost 9 I would never let her in charge of her younger sister but if she was comfortable with it I would leave her alone for an hour or so. She is not for now so I don't push it.

Can't believe this is even warranting a debate. Of course YANBU. Of course you can leave a 9 and 11 yr old in their own home without an adult for 3/4hr. Amazed that there is even any doubt from anyone.

My mother worked full time when I was nine. I cycled home from school (two miles), let myself into the house and entertained myself for an hour or so until she came home. It was seen as perfectly normal back in the 1970s - the class teacher used to keep house keys for us if we were doing PE and hand them out at the end of the day (most of us used to hang them round our neck).

At 11 DD1 used to go and visit a friend who lived 40 minutes away on a suburban train. She was fine with it - used to call when she had arrived. You need to allow them little bits of independence at appropriate ages - otherwise how will they ever do anything on their own? DD1 has a friend who is nearly 16 - she and her 14 year old brother have a babysitter when the parents go out in the evening. At that age I was babysitting myself! Friend is also not allowed to take public transport or walk anywhere on her own.

Unless your children are given to playing with matches or malicious damage of each other/your home... then go for your run! The most likely thing they'll do is raid your cupboards and fridge.

We are very different in the UK from most other countries. My cousins were over from the US and one of them routinely left her 9 yr old and 11 yr old alone - in fact they had a visit from some one from the school pretending to be a gas man to see how easy it was to get in the house ( their idea of teaching childrens safety).

I believe in France/Italy/Germany they have a laxer view of this as well.

Weird to criticise someone for wanting to run to help with their mental help as being selfish and uncaring.

I would. Having said that my DD is 8 and she doesn't tend to like being left home either with her DB or on her own which is fair enough so I don't leave her if she'd rather come with me. DS is 11 and he manages to use public transport in the city on his own so he's definitely fine being left at home! He'd far rather stay in playing X-Box or whatever than be dragged out with me to the shops etc (I don't run- shopping is my nearest comparison )

YANBU

My only concern is what would happen if something happened to you? Okay, it is unlikely, but you never know.
Would they know who to contact? Is someone they know nearby to come and look after them if you had to be taken to the hospital or something of the kind?

I was just going to post what timetoask said. I think you should go for your runs, and regularly if you want to, if you trust your DC to be alone.

However on the tiny chance that you twist and ankle, fall etc and are delayed getting home and have no signal, I'd talk through a back up plan with them. Just explain that they don't need to be worried - if they have run with you before they are probably aware you could sprain something and have to walk home - but to call or knock at a particular neighbour's perhaps?

I don't believe in planning for 'what if the car blows up' or any of those scenarios () but I think you injuring yourself and being much later how is a bit more of a possibility than an alien attack.

teddybare that was my experience in Australia growing up too. I walked to school with my friends from the second week of reception. my dd1 is 3.5 and we live about 200 metres from the school she will attend next year but there is no way she will be allowed to leave school and walk home the way I was. The perception of risk and capability these days is just bonkers.

I wonder why some women have children when all they want to do is carry on their lives as if they have none

Good grief! Much better at that age to have a mother who is a good role model-nothing worse than having one who gives it all up for you-a terrible millstone for a child.
If they are happy then I would go.

I have a 10 (yesterday!) and 11 yo (and a teenager). I'd happily leave them for that long (in fact I got mauled on here several years back because I was upset my mil left my then 9 and 6 year olds home alone!)

I think it totally depends on whether they're fighters or not.

I have an 11 year old who travels 18 miles on the tube every day to school alone. He negotiates alternate routes on his own if there is a "leaves on track" incident. I left him from age 8 alone while I went running - firstly round and round the block, telling him to come out on to pavement if there's a problem and I would run past in under five minutes. He has always been fine. I always make sure he is fed and happily playing with something, he's not allowed in the kitchen, and I leave water out so he won't be tempted to get a glass which may break. He loves it. It's safer than playing out alone which I have only let him do last week for the first time. You have to trust them at some point or they'll never be independent.

getting you let him travel 18 miles to school...but have only recently started letting him play out alone?

Yep. There are cameras on the tube and tfl workers keeping everyone orderly and helping kids if need be. By playing out alone I don't mean in the garden, I mean going to public parks where there are no cameras and no supervision.

Oh I see...:)

I would - I have left DS 1 (9) for that long on his own. He is very responsible and my Dad and sister live next door and I rang him every 10 minutes.

I'm a runner and def. get twitchy if I don't get a run every other day. I leave my 12 and 6 year old alone occasionally when I go. I run a loop where I am never more than about 4 minutes from our house and I take my phone. I set them up in front of the tv with a snack before I go.. And I am def back before the programme finishes... Usually about 25 mins. I'd like to go further and do an out-and-back run rather than a loop around the streets but this is a reasonane compromise.

My 12 yo is v sensible though. And grandma is 30 seconds away over the road...