To leave DCs home alone while I go for a run?

[Borntorun25]

I'm a long term lurker and have gleaned much good advice and also amusement from Mumsnet, but this is my first post. I suspect I am BU but would appreciate objective opinions please.
2 DCs, aged 11 and 9. Off school for 5 days hols (schools, not mine!). DC currently away from home for work.
I love running, have been doing for 8 years now and has majorly helped both physical and mental health. I get seriously twitchy if I miss.
I am self employed and arrange my hours so I can usually fit a run in during school time. If not possible I get up early before DH goes to work. Neither option possible currently.
DCs do sometimes run with me but neither want to today. We spent most of yesterday on beach and they just want to chill and play minecraft, etc on iPads today. We are going out this afternoon anyway so they will get fresh air then.
I would be gone for 40 mins. Have never left them this long before. Have only ever driven to nearest shop for paper/milk, max of 15-20 mins alone before. They would happily play on iPads for hours if left to own devices.
I suspect IABU, it's just such a lovely day here and the road looks sooo inviting.......
They are too young really, aren't they? Happy to be told so, then I will settle myself down!

I started running at the beginning of the year and I have left my kids (same age as yours) on their own for 30 / 40 mins to go out for a jog.

At weekends, some times DH and I go out jogging together and leave kids at home for similar amounts of time.

Kids are fine with it, they're usually settled with a book or the nds or the tv. They know not to open the door or answer the phone. We have our mobiles with us, so they can phone if they need to (they never have done yet). I'm usually back before they've moved an inch from their lounging place!

But we do have have plenty of neighbours and friends down the road, so I feel that there is back-up should I / they need it. But then I never run so far that I couldn't be home fairly quickly.

Try a shorter run (20 mins, intervals perhaps?) and build it up from there, if they're not used to being left for long periods.

Of course it's fine! There are really people out there who would not leave reasonably sensible 9 and 11-year olds alone for 40 minutes? What do you think will happen? House will spontaneously combust the second you're out the door?

I think 9 is too little for 40 mins personally.

DD used to walk to and from school (a mile each way) and be home alone for several hours after school aged 8. Honestly, they'll be fine. Enjoy your run!

go ahead if you think it will be OK, just be aware that were anything to happen while you were out you would be held legally responsible and it would be regarded as neglect.

(according to the SS leaflet on neglect, that is).

I'd say that it depended on when you went.

I wouldn't take that risk, myself. But, realistically, two boys that age should be capable of holding the fort for twenty minutes. Obviously it's different if you know that one is a pyromaniac or whatever. They're your kids, decide for yourself.

And- be prepared to talk to Social Services if you find you have a nice helpful, caring, curtain-twitching neighbour who reports you.

quite

Can' t you run near the house and pop in and check every now and again. Might be a bit boring going round the block but you could build up the time gradually til you are all used to it.

I wouldn't but partly because someone I know is currently being prosecuted for leaving a 13 yo home alone, she's also facing an investigation by ss. I also know of people who have lost their jobs due to similar circumstances. I happen to believe my dc would be safe but on the off chance something cropped up I'm not willing to risk their future on someone else's decision.

Depends on the children, some of mine would be fine, other the dynamic wouldn't work,

If I leave any child (some of mine are older), I tell them my route, when I will be back, and the other parent(or another adult), knows I'm out of the house, and is available on the phone, and we have various neighbours who are always in, we live in a small hamlet.

Mine often cycle with me, but both mine can out run me now, but they are into junior triathlon.

Why shouldn't an 11 year old answer the phone (in the shower, can I take a message? Or Hello Gran, nah mum's down the pub?)

I can't understand any reason not to leave them at home - or indeed to shove 'em out the front door and tell to go and play somewhere...

I would not give it a second's thought if it's just 20 minutes. Can you take the mobile with you?

I doubt Social Services would be interested in two presumably sensible and well-behaved youngsters left while their mother has a quick run. And it's nobody else's business (unless they are nice neighbours and you can tip them the wink, just in case).

Sorry, same for 30-40 minutes. Tell them not to answer the door. Have a code that if you ring, you will first ring for three rings, then ring again, so they know it's you. Otherwise tell them not to answer the phone. This is my anti-nosy neighbour routine.

"I doubt Social Services would be interested"

"I can't understand any reason not to leave them at home"

some people are living in cloud cuckoo land, I swear.

Go. Lots of children walk to school on their own at 9. I had a key at that age as Mum worked until 5. They will be fine.

Er, for me, no way. It's a risk. They are still children and 40 mins is a long time. If it was an emergency I would do it, but otherwise, no.

I think it's fine. Does depend on the circumstances tho - happily engrossed in TV/iPad - fine. Mooching around board and restless - not fine.

Mine are 9 and 12, and I do this. I have my phone, they can call or text. They are sensible, and mostly kind to one another. I mostly do this when they are busy, too - either on screens, or otherwise occupied.

I won't go swimming though, as that takes longer, and I can't take my phone in the pool.

I think it would be fine with precautions.

Vary the time you go out ( hard I know as a runner it's nice to stick to a set time) so that it isn't always the same time of day - maybe that's overly paranoid, but I'd rather than than any thing else.

Make sure they know what to do in an emergency - particularly a fire so they know to leave the house straight away and phone the fire brigade. Keep your mobile audible at all times -bum belt rather than pocket at back so you can definitely hear it even if you have headphones in.

Maybe go for a shorter run, you can do quite a lot in 20 mins if you do sprint intervals.

Our neighbours son is 10 and he gets the bus back from school then is alone in the house for about an hour before a parent gets in. At first I was but then I think if they believe he is sensible enough - he is a good kid, then why not.

Xmasbaby
How will your DC develop independence and coping skills if they aren't allowed to be alone for short periods/walk/cycle/bus to school/walk to corner shop ?
These are perfectly normal ways to introduce your children to increasing independence and confidence.
Assess the risks - discuss them with your children, discuss what they would do if xyz happened and then discuss after the event - how did they feel, did it go well etc?

Children with no coping skills are far more at risk than those who are allowed to develop them.

I sometimes leave mine (10 and 5) while I pop to local supermarket as far less stressful than taking them! To be fair, whole round trip max half hour including queues. The rules they have are:

• don't answer the door/phone (no point in them picking up phone as won't be for them, that's what the answering machine is for)
• don't cook anything (the 10yo)
• any concerns, call me; in an emergency go to a neighbour (they know which houses)

I agree mrsosbourne, sadly SS doesn't - mine were at home alone at the age of ten for approximately one hour while i went to look at a car, (which we were all happy with) during which time someone phoned and as soon as they heard I was out, they phoned SS. I then received a stiff letter, and unpleasant and judgemental phonecall, and a leaflet on neglect.
Just so you all know.

My dses are exactly the same age and I've gone for an hours run and left them alone without any incident.

I have no concerns. They are both sensible children, they know what to do in an emergency and because I run in a loop I would never be more than 25 minutes from home.

Mine walk themselves to school, their independence is developing slowly and I think that's the best way.

at someone being prosecuted for leaving a 13yo alone - what are the circumstances? Can only see it being neglect if we are talking overnight/longer. As a child I walked home and let myself in from about 8 years old.

Has anyone started the doom-mongering on this thread yet that usually happens on these threads, about how you could be critically injured in an horrific accident and your poor children are left alone for days?