To leave DCs home alone while I go for a run?

[Borntorun25]

I'm a long term lurker and have gleaned much good advice and also amusement from Mumsnet, but this is my first post. I suspect I am BU but would appreciate objective opinions please.
2 DCs, aged 11 and 9. Off school for 5 days hols (schools, not mine!). DC currently away from home for work.
I love running, have been doing for 8 years now and has majorly helped both physical and mental health. I get seriously twitchy if I miss.
I am self employed and arrange my hours so I can usually fit a run in during school time. If not possible I get up early before DH goes to work. Neither option possible currently.
DCs do sometimes run with me but neither want to today. We spent most of yesterday on beach and they just want to chill and play minecraft, etc on iPads today. We are going out this afternoon anyway so they will get fresh air then.
I would be gone for 40 mins. Have never left them this long before. Have only ever driven to nearest shop for paper/milk, max of 15-20 mins alone before. They would happily play on iPads for hours if left to own devices.
I suspect IABU, it's just such a lovely day here and the road looks sooo inviting.......
They are too young really, aren't they? Happy to be told so, then I will settle myself down!

Nigella in my friends case it was the police doing a door to door advisory service due to a break in locally. They reallised a child was in the house.

Oh and I've always got my mobile with me.

Can I just ask about the state of the German pavements at the start of the school year - are they literally festooned with competing sets of colourful footprints?

I agree DC need to develop independence, but to me this is a bit young to be left for that length of time.

OP - you've said your kids are sensible, therefore I think YANBU leaving them and going for a run. If this is the first time you've left them, then go for a 20 minute run and build it up.

My DS is 10 and he is left for 30 mins in house when I've left for work & before he leaves to go to school. It's a couple of times a week. He's a sensible lad.

Don't see the problem in this what so ever !

Yes I would. And have done.

I would - and have!

Run on a 'loop' though, if you can and go past your house a few times withing that 40 minutes. I used to do this at first and give them Playtstation time. As I ran past the house, I could see the tops of their heads.

Prosecuted for leaving a 13 YO alone? That's absolutely fucking ridiculous. I hope they get laughed out of court.

Surely there must have been more to it than that?
If not, there'll be a hell of a queue outside the court after the next INSET day at our local comp.

There is no legal minimum age, depends on circumstances - NSPCC leaflet just says that under 16s shouldn't be left overnight, and advises against children being alone after school for a couple of hours on a regular basis, definite no to little children/babies alone (obvious). NSPCC guidance so I wonder if the 13yo referred to above had SN, or there were family circumstances that meant he/she wasn't safe alone?

There was a prosecution of a parent who left a 14 year old alone, the mother got a 13 week jail term (suspended).

I would as someone suggested run on loop .
And in hobbling distance .
And have a friend or neighbour that the kids could go to if you are not back at a set time. In case you have fall and get hurt.
Also tell that friend or neighbour what you plan to do.

fred she left the 14 year old home alone for 6 weeks and went abroad, not 40 minutes while jogging in the neighbourhood. A little different.

'Anne I read it too but that's the persons decision to leave a 5 year old by themselves for 20 minutes so no comment from me.'

Fluffaduck saying that for me is just as bad as leaving a 5 YO.

So if I said I went out shopping leaving my 4 YO for half an hourish, would that be OK with you Fluff? Because I'd deliberately made the decision so it must be a sound one??

Is there no point where you'd think a parent was in the wrong?

That's taking competitive non-judginess to the limit!

YANBU OP, it's just on the borderline age of leaving them, I think DD was 10 when I started building the time up. A few shaky starts but that just shows how ready they are/not, and you can only test it out by doing it. There is no other way.

Enjoy your run.

FredFred - the only reference I can find to a mother being prosecuted for leaving a 14 year old is where he was looking after a 3 year old. Which is slightly different (although I still think that's bonkers if both children were NT/without behavioural issues)

There are silly and pathetic prosecutions going on all the time. It's more common than you think. The problem is that the law is vague but the onus is on the parent to prove that there was absolutely no risk and unfortunately that is simply not possible so if it goes to court the parents are normally found guilty.

Oh and the 13 yo was only on his own for a short while during the day. It was a fluke that it was when the police called round. The law is vague though and its down to someone's judgement and I'm not sure I trust other people's judgement for my dc

this one is abuot the 14-year old: news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7287429.stm

Some good points re building up independence, agree with MrsO. I haven't really given mine much before, we live rural area so they catch school bus and although I'm happy with them roaming around local small clutch of houses/woods the nearest village where most of their friends live is 6 miles away, minimal bus service, so they get driven to friends/ activities. I'm not used to leaving them alone and they're not used to it either. 11 yr old will be starting secondary school in August ( 45 mins school bus journey) and I guess his social life will take off geographically so I need to think about this.
Bit concerned re what has been said about SS but I do agree that what is appropriate for each child is individual to them and a sensible approach to increasing independence gradually is best.
I went for my run, checked in after 20 mins and they were still glued to iPads so did a further 10 mins. Much happier now and have stopped twitching
I think 20 mins is a reasonable time for us all to start with.
Many thanks to all for replies.

I read an article a few years back which gave a few examples. One was a woman prosecuted for leaving an 8yo with his 15yo brother while she popped to the shop (curtain twitching neighbour reported) The focus of the article was about rules re working with vulnerable people because the mothers concerned were no longer able to do their jobs one had been a nurse another was care in the community. Yes the prosecutions were stupid and just silly but they happened. If I can find it I'll link to it. It's shocking how things that we'd just do without a second thought have destroyed people's lives.

Of course. Every morning we get on the tube with hundreds of 11 year olds who navigate themselves across London to school ( and back). Most get home at say 5pm, make a snack, start homework and watch tv until parents get home at 7pm.

And yes when we lived in Germany many 5/6 year olds would walk home with huge rucksacks on backs alone. Many had keys to let themselves in also incase mum had popped to the shops or was delayed ( this was only 5 years ago).
Our neighbour used to do a yoga class 1-2pm daily, and school finished at 12.50pm. The 7 year old would walk the mile home, let herself in, eat lunch that had been left for her and play happily alone until her mother was home about 2.15pm.

Oh and what about very young mothers? If a 13 year old has a baby are they not allowed to stay home alone. Even though they are responsible for another child

Hazlenut but surely once you've thought 20 minutes is okay, it's just a short walk to stocking up the fridge and chucking 'em 100quid for chips? It's all a slippery slope!

Are the 11 year olds who are not left alone - and their appear to be a lot in this thread - allowed out to play?

There must be more to some of these prosecutions than meets the eye. Particularly vulnerable children or children with SN?

Frankly, if by the time they are 10 or 11 you have not brought up a child (with no SN/not hyperactive/not very anxious/no issues) to sit quietly, reading, studying or watching TV or playing on an iPad, etc, for 20 minutes in the house (assuming you don't live somewhere very remote or very dangerous), what are your reasons?

I do agree that what is appropriate for each child is individual to them and a sensible approach to increasing independence gradually is best.

You've got it in a nutshell, OP. Glad you got your run!