to think life in the MN world as an adult is rather boring?

[ThereWasOnceAGirl]

Definitely not everyone but it feels to be a large percentage feel that -

You only should celebrate your birthday until you are 10. Anything after that and it's odd.

Why are you buying Christmas presents for adults, only buy for children? So not adults aren't allowed presents at Christmas.

Going out on a Saturday night even for just one drink seems very frowned upon and

Life as an adult is pajamas on at 7 every night of the week, not celebrating your birthday and not getting presents at Christmas.

What I DO see however, are posts whining about not getting a present.

Maaaaaybe I'm placing meaning on it, but I don't think I am. But I might. Possibly.

But what's wrong with that? If you are talking about a bunch of people that normally give each other gifts, why not complain if all you're going to get is a broken saucepan or mouldy sock etc? It's disrespect/pure meanness wrapped up with a bow, I can see why people would get upset about that.

Or getting the wrong present. Or getting a present that wasn't as good as they'd like. Or not getting enough presents. Or the fuss made not being big enough. And you can't say those posts don't occur, because you know they do.

And I'm sorry if you disagree, but to my mind, that IS bloody childish and deserves contempt.

Alright, I'm with you there, but the broken saucepan, c'mon.

Yes, a lack of money means buying a real tree is out of the price bracket of many, or bigger presents. And if you are really strapped, any presents for DP, etc. But presents need not be big. I gave DP a sherbet dibdap as a present. I think we would always try and give something to each other as a token.

And I love Christmas. Going to our local switch on off the Christmas lights, putting up decorations, going to the local churches carol service, I find it all exciting.

And yes, some adults do act po faced if you enjoy Christmas as an adult.

The mn way does at times remind me of les Dawson. All hoiking judgy pants, bosom hoiking/pushing, cats bum mouths and pearl clutching. For the life of me why you want to grow up and become THAT I have no idea.

Me? I'd like to be more fun tbh. I'm not giving my birthday up although my age is starting to be stagnant and I'm not over forty!

I like to sport them though and be all 'FOMO'/'OLO'and so 'totes amazeballs' on their threads. And obvs u don't write properly either. Really winds them up. ;0)

I'm not trying to oppose the fun. I'm ALL about the fun! Christ, if we didn't have these little occasions to look forward to, life would be such a colourless drudge....

BUT - there have been plenty of posts on here that are little-girl-denied-her-dues wah wah wah! Sometimes it IS a case of grow up isn't it?

YANBU. I've also noticed on mumsnet, you are supposed to be really friendly with your SIL, and spend most of your social life with family.

I must be wicked, because I spend 99.99% of my social life with friends. I married my DH, not his family!

(I suspect this may have something to do with the birthday thing though)

I love socialising with friends. My SIL is nice enough, but she isn't a friend.

pictish - Yes I agree with that.

We all need more fun in our life, not less.

I think Christmas is for everyone and people who think it's just all about the children are ridiculous. Does that mean that people without children or people whose children are grown up shouldn't enjoy Christmas? That means for most of your life you won't have a reason to enjoy a magical time of the year.
I have to say I don't really get adults who want to make a big fuss of their birthday every year or take a day off work for it. To each their own, but I'm not fussed about birthdays and hate the pressure to feel I should be doing something special to celebrate.
And one of the advantages of getting older, for me, is being able to stay at home in the warm on a Saturday night, drinking wine and watching SCD - instead of heading out into the cold in some skimpy outfit to stand around a packed pub for hours unable to hear anyone talking, and then heading to some overpriced nightclub before getting to queue for an hour in freezing weather for a taxi.

There is a difference between enjoying celebrating your birthday, and throwing a child like stop because it can't be on your ACTUAL birthday and your best friend can't come...

Having grown up in a house where neither birthdays nor Christmas were even acknowledged, you can fucking bet I celebrate them! But then DD had the gall to be born on my birthday, so now I have to share it. DH does make an effort to make it a nice day for me too though, and not just all about DD.

We do only buy Christmas presents for the children in the family, as there are lots of nieces and nephews and there simply isn't the money to buy for everyone. We tend to make a bigger fuss of birthdays for that reason, as they are spread throughout the year.

DH goes out most Saturday nights, I don't tend to as I'm just not that bothered. I don't mind going out the odd time, I do drink a bit, but I really don't enjoy being drunk. I used to go clubbing lots, dressed in very little, and loved it (didn't drink much, preferred other substances at the time), but those days are behind me now and I'm fine with that. I remain dressed until I actually go to bed though, unless I've had a bath or something.

And no, I don't change what I do at all because of what MN might think - I just pick and choose what I divulge :)

OP - I find it interesting that people can view it so differently. I find (both here and in face-to-face life) that most people presume - or at least portray to presume - that adult socializing involves alcohol and going out and that if you don't make birthdays and Christmas super amazing for everyone then you don't have any magic in your life, depriving yourself and your kids, and everyone absolutely loves them and wants to take part.

I may be boring socializing without alcohol mainly having our friends over playing games and telling stories, but we enjoy it. We do do birthdays, but we have a fantastic holiday cycle that brings celebrations far more often and my kids quite enjoy magic and delightfulness without Christmas ever being involved (and adults always get presents for their occasions - connecting and celebrating is for everyone).

Personally, I think the over emphasis on Christmas causes a lot of people a lot of unneeded stress and if we could socially spread it out a bit more it would be more fun and less stressful and isolating for a lot of people. Knowing more fun is just around the corner puts a lot less need to get everything ideal and easier to roll with it.

Even with children it all gets rather joyless- I will bet that there will eventually be a thread by the people who put up their tree at the last minute and get it down on Boxing Day because 'they can't stand the mess'. There will be those who see magic as 'telling lies'. I could go on if I had the time! A thread at the moment throws up all those people who 'can't stand being pampered'.
I love it all!

Spork - I drink alcohol, my DP doesn't. I really enjoy doing stuff like having friends over to play board games. Fun and socialising doesn't have to involve alcohol.

I know that, I'm saying how it portrayed in popular culture and often on the internet.

I agree with the no Christmas pressies for adults, Christmas is for kids really and you just end up with a load of crap you don't want if you do adult presents. However, I think birthdays are special, adults should get presents and celebrate if they want to. Going out on a Saturday is fine too IMO. Drinking wine at home is much less hassle though.

I think what ever other people think about me, is none of my business, so don't tend to live my life taking other people opinions as to how to live it.

I do feel a bit sad when I see threads that go beyond 'DC needs come before adult wants' and almost into 'adults don't matter at all'. Frankly as someone with no DC it scares me!

I don't think it's wrong to want to feel special as an adult. It's just that as an adult you can want to feel special while recognising that you are not the centre of the universe and shit happens.

Having said that, I can see why you would have a no present rule if large family (or obviously if totally skint). We don't have many to buy for, which helps.

Oh and I am in my pyjamas drinking while DP is on a work bash. After a tough work week, clubbing sounds like hard work Having said that, I found a full on job & early starts killed my Friday night clubbing while I was still in my mid-twenties. These days a serious drinking session with friends is on a Saturday and starts at 8pm (or after the ones with DC have put them to bed) rather than 10pm. Friday night socialising tends towards a two drink max immediately after work, followed by a fair amount of yawning...

I agree that the last minute ones who leave it up to 12th night are the sensible ones, but I bet you there are the ones who have it up for a couple of days- there always are!