Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think postman should not be changing tyres/ talking at length with people on his rounds?

690 replies

Nomorepat · 28/11/2013 12:49

Waiting for an important letter which is dependent on what time I receive it today. So go for a stroll to see if postie is in area. There is he is in the next street changing some girl's tyre for her-I know this is not his car and ours is his last street. He then proceeds to chat to this girl for about 10 minutes, then another woman for about 5 minutes.

I am peed off about this. AIBU?

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/11/2013 09:48

What do you want, OP? Do you honestly think that if you keep banging on about this long enough, we will all come round to your point of view, and agree that the evil postman should not have done a deed of altruistic kindness when he should have been delivering your frightfully important letter?

Ain't gonna happen, love. Just because two posters have agreed that YANBU, doesn't mean the majority are about to change their views. We are just mourning the fact that there are more people out there who don't want altruism and kindness in the world - not if it inconveniences them!!

Original poster
Nomorepat · 29/11/2013 09:50

Sirzy no it's not daft at all: there is a difference between getting injured doing what you are employed to do in this case perhaps postie slipping on the pavement during his job and getting injured doing what you are Not employed to do i.e. changing tyres.

The former is unavoidable the other most certainly is avoidable.

Bowlersarms how do you know he wasn't? Anyway, he may not have been nevertheless the point remains, if he was in his eyes he'd be being kind.

OP posts:
BarfaStewart · 29/11/2013 09:51

My postman has just been, he gave me my letters, then we had a really nice chat. Next he will go around the sheltered bungalows around the corner, in our small, not terribly well-connected village. He will chat to every person he sees, and make some very lonely OAPs very happy.

Thank god there are more like him!

BarfaStewart · 29/11/2013 09:52

And of course it doesn't matter who it was. It is still a good deed, regardless.

Sirzy · 29/11/2013 09:53

but he could change a tyre after his shift and get injured - so do you want to provide postmen with a list of what they can and can't do at any time incase they get injured and mean you have to wait for a different postman to be free to deliver your post?

Preciousbane · 29/11/2013 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Nomorepat · 29/11/2013 09:54

BarfarStewart seriously? So if he was having an affair with this woman, it would be OK in your eyes, then? I don't buy that for one second. Sorry.

Everybody's got their different views on acts of kindness, don't they? Postie gets carte blanche to do acts of kindness.

'Sorry, boss, only being kind to my bit on the side'.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 29/11/2013 09:56

what relationship he had with her if any is irrelevant. Someone was struggling he helped her. He was kind, you are simply carrying on showing how self centred you are.

I hope if you ever have a flat tyre the postman walks past and leaves you stranded. Wouldn't want him stopping being kind incase people complained or assumed you were having an affair with him.

Original poster
Nomorepat · 29/11/2013 09:57

Sirzy I don't want to give anybody a list: not my place, but I'm pretty sure 'changing tyres' is not on an approved royal mail list.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, isn't it? Pretty young girl flashes eyes at postie, he changes her tyre, gets injured, and 20 people don't get that important letter.

OP posts:
BarfaStewart · 29/11/2013 09:58

Having an affair wouldn't be ok.

If he was popping in for a quickie, it wouldn't be ok.

But he wasn't. He was changing a tyre. Regardless of whose it was, it is still a good deed. There is nothing for you to "buy", your view is different to that of others. Don't assume that other people have the same ethics and vision of what constitutes a good deed. If I say "it doesn't matter to me", then it doesn't matter to me.

CaptainSinker · 29/11/2013 09:58

OP - have you considered masturbating more often? I really think this could be the solution.

Original poster
Nomorepat · 29/11/2013 09:58

I hope he leaves me stranded, too, seriously, I'd rather he got on with his job.

OP posts:
BarfaStewart · 29/11/2013 10:00

And actually, the road to hell is built on mistrust, selfishness and indignation.

One good deed deserves another.

Spartak · 29/11/2013 10:01

So lets turn around the "having an affair" scenario.

What if he was changing the tyre for someone who needed to get to hospital to see a dying relative for the last time. Would he still be an arse then?

Why are you avoiding answering the question about what was in this important letter?

BarfaStewart · 29/11/2013 10:02

Maybe it was a job offer from the Royal Mail? Grin

Original poster
Nomorepat · 29/11/2013 10:02

BarfaStewart you have no idea what his motivations were for changing that tyre, nor do I.

And this is kind of the point: it appears kind to you, but maybe he was just trying to get inside her underwear.

The bottom line is this: employers cannot allow people carte blanche to carry out subjective acts of kindness or we'd never get any mail.

OP posts:
EauRouge · 29/11/2013 10:02

He must have been delivering you a new kidney the way you are carrying on.

Mckayz · 29/11/2013 10:03

He changed a bloody tire, you got your post so why the fuck are you still going on??

Unless the person posting the letter pays for before 1pm delivery, Royal Mail say that post is not late unless it arrives after 4pm. So he wasn't even late.

FFS

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 29/11/2013 10:04

Erm...
This is the Royal Mail you are talking about? You'll be lucky if you get your letter at all! "They aim to deliver 93% of first class mail the next day", yeah, 93% of what they don't steal, lose or send to completely the wrong area!
My postman turns up whenever the hell he likes, leaves all of his parcels in the depot and just sticks a card through the letter box!
If he's doing something positive for somebody then so what? There's more to life than being a fecking jobsworth. If your letter is that important, then it should have been sent special delivery!
Get a grip and stop being such a misery!

fluffaduck · 29/11/2013 10:06

Good morning postie lovers Smile

Just read the latest posts and have I missed one?
Is the postman now having an affair?
Has OP admitted she IBU or is she grasping on to the 3 posts out of 300 that agree with her?

Original poster
Nomorepat · 29/11/2013 10:06

Never thought there might be a connection to your postman turning up whenever the hell he likes and him doing something 'positive' for somebody, SaggyOldClothCatPuss?

Maybe your's is like mine: doing 'good deeds' all day instead of delivering the post.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nomorepat · 29/11/2013 10:09

Spartak because I've been told that what was in my letter is irrelevant by the posters here. That's why. Because his doing 'good deeds' is more important than my peace of mind (or any other poor bugger waiting for the mail).

OP posts:
Sirzy · 29/11/2013 10:10

If the postman was having an affair surely they would have disappeared inside for a quickie rather than standing outside talking?

BarfaStewart · 29/11/2013 10:11

It doesn't matter what his motivations were. If you didn't receive your post, I would have more sympathy. But you did. And he helped someone in need. Whether it was so they could rush to hospital, go shopping or meet their lover in the lane for a quickie, it doesn't negate the good deed.

It's the action that matters, not the motivation.

EauRouge · 29/11/2013 10:12

What time did the letter arrive, OP?

Swipe left for the next trending thread