To think people should just accept the fact I talk loud

[ALittleBitOfMagic]

I have a loud voice . There is nothing I can do about it I know I so it but deep in conversation I am unaware of it and try so hard to speak quieter but the more into a discussion I get the louder Iget .

Everyone is constantly on my back about it . I constantly get told to be quite or "gonae stop shoutin" as it's so eloquently put here my sister is the worst for it . Sometimes she will just get up and walk out the room if I am speaking .

I know this probably sounds so trivial but it's beginning to affect my confidence . I feel like they should all just accept the way I am . I had glue ear constantly as a child my hearing was really bad . I think I've had to shout as a child and just never shook the habit (my hearing is actually still not that great)

Am I being over sensitive ? I actually feel a bit daft now I've typed this all out .

I am the opposite, I have a really quiet voice, I have been in meetings at work and been advised 'Loud voice Con, thats it LOUDER' but I just can't, I feel my throat is hoarse. I know I annoy people as I see them havign to crouch closer to me to listen. So in a way I envy you. But at the same time, I can't stand being in a restaurant or bar whatever and hearing every single word of a conversation someone is having with a friend or phone call at the other side of the room. If they ever allow mobile phone calls on planes I will never fly again.

Actually I watched that really crap film Pitch Perfect and in that film is a really quiet voiced person I think could possibly be based on me.

My boss has the loudest voice in the world. I have to say I find it really disruptive. She is in the office next door and even when both our doors are shut I can hear her word for word on the telephone. I can hear her confidential meetings and am aware that others can hear mine too when I'm with her. I am not sure if she realises but it has the potential to be quite serious.

Depends. Are you getting louder because you are convinced you are right? Are you justifying yourself unnecessarily? Do you talk over people? Shut them down?

Maybe it isn't your voice per se but how you use it?

My mum is a very domineering, narcissistic type who talks in a loud stage voice in even the smallest of rooms/cars despite knowing how stressful it is for everyone around her.

It's horrible.

If you know you're doing it and you care then learn not to.

Otherwise, you deserve what you get. Deliberately shouting during conversation is a form of bullying.

Hearing test. Yep.

I have a very loud voice and 75% hearing loss. My 3DDs all speak very loudly because of it and people are constantly telling them to be quiet. I have to explain a lot that I need them to speak loudly.

I try to help them differentiate, but they find it difficult.

I also agree with hearing tests. I tend to find my voice creeeping upwards in volume but I have an auditory processing disorder. I can't distinguish between sounds, so background noise means I don't hear properly and my volume gets louder in response.

Im definitely not loud enough that you would hear my conversation in a restaurant. If I was dh would never take me anywhere
And I'm definitely not talking over people . Quite the opposite actually I love to listen to people nosey on everything really I love hearing other peoples opinions and stories . That's one of the things I like about mumsnet I lurk on loads of thread because I like to hear what others have to say .

I do sympathise OP, it must be difficult. But I have a work colleague who speaks loudly and it is really quite bad. If I have a meeting with her I feel like having a lie down afterwards while my ears stop ringing. Perhaps you're not as loud as she is though - you'd definitely overhear her in a restaurant (and the restaurant next door, tbh!).

If people (note, more than 1) are commenting on it though I would try to work on it for your own sake. It seems you can control it if you start off quiet. Difficult though it will be I'm sure, you need to sort this out. Could you try stopping during conversations and checking your volume for a couple of days?

Or maybe consider a career as a opera singer

I too think I have a loud voice. I dont get comments all the time and no-one's actually said I shout, but there has been the odd time when Ive said something in what I thought was normal sound and been told I was too loud.

Im not aggressive and never take over a conversation, I usually find I can't get a word in edgeways as other people are usually talking too much and I lack confidence.

This thread has upset me, not because anyone has said anything wrong, but because its made me realise that there is something wrong with me. I didn't realise that there was. Now, going foreward, I will try to rein it in all the time. You never know my life might improve from it.

This is like a friend of mine. She's really loud, all the time. Doesn't know how to whisper! Some people think she's being aggressive, her own family sometimes and it does cause arguments.

It's worse when she's had a drink. I'm with her most days and think its quiet funny. When it's really loud I just chuckle and she goes a but quieter.

It's who you are try not to let them affect you

My DH is loud. He sings too when out and I cringe with embarrassment everytime I'm with him because I'm a very quiet person. I have to accept that's the way he is, but he does make an effort to be quieter when in quietish places like restaurants or shops so I don't think it's a hard task. You could make an effort too if you wanted for the people you love.

I've got a earache just from reading your post

Seriously tho. I wear earplugs around family that I know is loud. helps me quite a bit

I think if you're going for the PGDE, it will be really helpful to have more conscious volume control over your voice - there may well be times when you want to be speaking quietly, as well as times when you want to be loud.

If you're having voice lessons, you might also want to work on how you physically produce a 'loud' voice, so that you don't risk voice loss. I've been to classes on this (organised by my work which was very nice) which were very useful.

To all the people saying 'you can correct it': you try talking in a French accent and see how long you can do that without subconsciously slipping into your natural voice.

I think a lot of people on here are being really nasty, some people have loud voices, some people have squeaky voices, some people have husky voices. To pick on a personal characteristic is horrible and akin to bullying.

If people's ears are so sensitive they find a loud conversation distressing they need to buy earplugs.

Of course you can change it. Can you whisper? Can you shout? If you can do either of these things, it proves you can alter the volume of your speech. I hate it in pubs when I can't hear the people I am with due to someone with a loud voice on the other side of the room. I don't want to hear you.

I've had this. I can be loud especially if I am excited or very involved in what I am saying. Then my voice gets louder. My friends regularly tell me when I need to tone it down and so I do. The only times it has caused ructions is on two occasions when I was telling someone something emotionally important and they interrupted me to tell me to lower my voice - I was hurt that they were more interested in the decibels than in what I was saying.

Angelos try whispering continuously. You won't be able to do it for long at all as at some point your voice will subconsciously modulate back to what it naturally is.

It's almost impossible to keep up a false voice for any length of time. The vast majority of the time people speak in their normal tone which they don't have to consciously modulate. It's incredibly, incredibly hard to use a false voice every time you speak when it's not what we as humans are programmed to do.

I work with several loud people, it's annoying. Even when they are having private phone conversations with family they talk loudly. There is no need, get your hearing checked rather than affecting other peoples!

If you're so loud that people constantly tell you to lower your voice and have to leave the room, then you are definitely talking loud enough to be heard in restaurants and every other public place, you're just unaware of it. Unlike your family strangers will generally be too polite to inform you of the fact and tell you to shut up. Your husband is probably so used to you that he doesn't notice it as abnormally loud anymore or perhaps he's half deaf too.

A hearing test is a good idea but you'll also need to develop an awareness of when you're upsetting, disturbing, irritating others and consciously lower your tone. You can't expect people to accept that.

Another vote for a hearing test.

When your glue ear cleared up didn't you find everything, including your own voice, sounded very loud and clear ?

Im definitely not loud enough that you would hear my conversation in a restaurant.

Well if that really is the case then I don't think you have that much of a problem. When I read your OP I thought of my SIL who can get VERY loud and shouty and there have been a number of times when we have all been out for family meals and I can see people at other tables turning to stare because her voice carries so far!

But it might be worth exploring the suggestions here just in case.

BTW I am another one who finds mumblers annoying and I am pretty sure I have good hearing.

I am loud of voice and I can't help it. My best friend and her husband are the worst for taking the piss about it after a few wines but I just try and shrug it off. We've all got our faults. At least you'll never lose me in a crowd

My DH has a loud voice - it has always been a running joke. Fortunately, he tends to be a man of relatively few words so it isn't hard to live with.

His mother, on the other hand, has a loud voice and never stops talking. That does get intolerable, but it is the drivelling on combined with the volume, not volume alone.

My DH is a secondary school teacher, & his big, booming presence is an asset in the classroom - no discipline problems.

One child is loud, like him, but talks a lot (more like me) so that is challenging. Other child is quiet and hardly speaks. Both are annoying, to be honest.

It is difficult.
I have a loud voice, and S&M also blessed with what is quite possibly the most sarcastic tone in the Western Hemisphere. Can I help it? I do try to, as a northerner living in the south I've had to, but it will creep in at regular intervals.

I second the ENT appt, and was impressed by the suggestion of singing lessons upthread.

As for your sister....any chance she's just being a bit of a cow and using your voice as an excuse? Are there shades of gender stereotyping present....should you be piping and lisping delicately instead?

Good luck, OP.