To think its normal for a 2 year old to throw toys

[scoobysnac]

For those of you who have not read my other thread I was a advised on Monday but my sons ht that my son is not allowed to take part in the christmas nativity along with 5 other children of ranging ages as they have short concentration spans.

The HT spoke to me whilst my son was in the same room so he was fully aware of what was being said and he takes everything in. hT also said son runs around too much etc etc and generally being negative about him. Anyway for last 2 days he has refused to go to the nursery and has been in terrible form, very emotional and upset.

Following collection of my son this afternoon I was advised that my son had thrown a toy which had hit another child. This was an accident (the toy making contact) and my son was extremely apologetic and knew he had done something wrong. The HT asked me to speak to my son about this which is fair enough etc etc but them she asked whether he there's toys at home which I said yes go course he's 2 - don't all 2 year olds !!!!
Apparently none of the other 2 year olds in my sons class throw toys only balls and beanbags wtf .

I think I must of sent my son to a parallel universe where all the children sit quietly, don't throw toy and follow directions. Or these are the only children allowed in my sons nursery. That explains the outstanding that ofsted gave them.

Please aibu in thinking its normal for a 2 yr old boy to throw toys. I do obviously tell him not to but he's just at that age isn't he?

what the ...

your son who is a BABY of 2 years old is NOT allowed to take part in the nativity?!

i would be furious - of course he has a short attention span - he is 2

and as for the chucking of toys - yes all normal

what nursery is this?? because frankly it sounds the opposite of nurturing

I don't think them regularly throwing toys is normal at all, the few times DS did throw toys it was quickly stopped - toys removed etc.

I think it's normal for them to try to do it,but it was something I didn't allow (ie I would remove the toy from them if they had been told not to and they did it again).
I don't think it's enough to simply tell them not to at two.
Because they want to test you at two,and they'll do it again,and see if they're stopped,and if they're not,they'll continue to do it.

It's a real shame though if they can't find him a role in the Nativity - I think they're being a bit precious if they think nursery age kids will give an Oscar-winning performance.

It's part of the enjoyment for me,if one gets bored and wanders off picking their nose,and another is hooping around from foot to foot because they can't keep still......

Your nursery sounds crap, I would think most two year olds throw toys. Even if they know not to children of that age generally have poor impulse control.

Excluding his from the nativity is horrible as well. My son attends a nursery for children with additional needs and they attempted a sort of nativity play last year. My son is autistic, he wont wear a costume, he wont stand on stage, he doesn't speak and generally wasn't interested and they still included him. That is what good nurseries (and schools) do, include all the children. It is the way it is supposed to be.

Sirzy - we do remove toys when they are thrown. In fact the confiscated box has more toys than the toy box. We remove for a week snd then reintroduce them for good behaviour.

DD (2yo) knows she is not supposed to. She sometimes does it anyway but she knows not to.

I disagree that throwing toys is normal, 2 is NOT a baby and should be able to understand your only throw balls or bean bags. That is something taught at my DCs nursery also. It may be something children do at one point or another but definitely not normal or ok. Also the majority of children do not just run around at pre school at 2.

I also diasgree re the school play, all children should be part of it in some way, we always gave the tiny ones a part at the end so they wouldn't have to sit through the whole thing getting restless. It is normal for 2 year old to nonot sit still always.

It is normal but they are learning ..so you teach them not to. He threw a toy it hit a child .. Your son should have been told not to, made to say sorry and then onto the next activity.
i would ask for a 1 to 1 with the school without your ds present to be honest.

Well it is normal for 2 year old children to throw toys IME. They don't call it the terrible 2s for nothing! Not necessarily desirable but yes it is normal. They should have an event which is appropriate for all the children.

I think they should all him in nativity as they should be working on him sitting still and concentrating for these types of things

Throwing toys however doesn't happen here. 2 year old probably hasn't thrown a toy since 18 months max, and knows he will be removed from the toys if he did. If he threw them all the time half would be broken.

I do think children do things at different times but surely things like patience and concentration you have to teach? What does he do after he finishes food does he just get down from the table or do you encourage him to wait for everyone to finish? What about on a bus, would he not sit? On plane? What about if you need to go somewhere and he needs to not run/ throw for 5/10 mins? If you sat him down with paper and craft how long would he sit?

Sorry I have worded badly, not normal as in accepted behaviour from a 2 yo as they are old enough to be told not to but normal in the way that 2 yos sometimes do throw toys.

And I also wouldn't call a 2 year old a baby. A baby is a small child who needs help to do most basic things. My 2 year old can eat by himself/ go to toilet/ wash hands/ basic getting dressed/ undressed/ can play/ walk/ run/ talk/ paint/ help cook/ ride a scooter/ play games/ basic swimming/ climb a tree etc etc. he is a small child capable of many things, and would be horrified if someone called him a baby.

I would say it's not normal for a two year old to throw toys. 1, yes, but then they're told no, and so don't again. By 2, they should know it's not right and adhere to that. And, 2 is not a baby. Worlds apart according to my 2yr old!

There has to be a cut off where a child can be expected to behave in a reasonable way, my 15 month old nephew understands no when it comes to touching things and not throwing things, doesn't mean he doesn't try and of course you do have to make excuses sometimes as he is still little however my friend always said 'ah he's only little' with her DS, at over 3 he still hits, throws things and is generally destructive as he has always had excuses made for him as he's just a baby.

He's a 2 year old but physically like a 6 year old. He is fully aware he should not throw thing but is a testing child without a doubt.

Clover Children are all different. What makes them different is complex. It is not all simply down nature or nurture. So you cannot just blame the parents....or say there is no hope for them from 2!

On your other thread you say he has delayed speech ... Was he acting out of frustration???

I think obviously a 2yr old should be told not to and be able to listen, but they still try and that's normal! It should be dealt with as it happens.

If he is aware that he shouldn't throw things then it is right that he is sanctioned if he continues to do it.

However, excluding from a nativity for poor concentration is not so acceptable.

I would make an appointment with the Head of the Nursery.

I would actually want to know more about what they are saying -

1. Just what exactly is the nature of the problem? What are their concerns exactly. Are they suggesting something underlying?
2. What are they doing about it positively at nursery? What are they expecting you to do.
3. Tell them exactly how you feel about conversations in front of your son - its a big no-no. If they are concerned they should present the information in a professional way.
4. What their policies on inclusion / exclusion are?

It doesn't really matter what 'normal behaviour' is - you could spend years comparing one child with the next.

It very much sounds like, for whatever reason, this nursery is the wrong fit for your son.

He is two years old. That's a baby. And yes, two year olds do throw things every now and then. I think you are feeling that they are reacting negatively to everything he does?

I expect if a 2 yr old had umpteen toys and you remove one, still leaving loads to play with, it wouldn't bother them much.

I commented on your other thread that I thought the nursery was wrong.

I think so even more now.

Some (most?) 2 years olds throw things sometimes. TBH DD1 and DD2 didn't really do that but DS who is 2.5 throws something he shouldn't at least a few times each day. Often when tired. I always tell him not to. And he knows its wrong. But at 2 their impulse control is not very developed.

It really doesn't sound as though this nursery is the right setting for him. Dear little chap.

All children have urges and its really up to the carer to identify them and re-direct the energies. I think its perfectly normal for a child to want to 'throw' something but I don't think 2 is too young to re-direct the throwing urge from throwing toys to throwing something else (that is perhaps a bit safer!).

Here is quite a good introduction re schemas and children's play if you are not aware of them www.dorsetforyou.com/357248

DD is 2 and knows very well that she shouldnt throw things. Doesnt mean that she never does it, often out of anger or frustration at not being allowed to do something dangerous!

The more I read about this nursery the worse it sounds. Have you considered a child minder or could you run to a Nanny? Perhaps a lower child:carer ratio would work for him?