Spending very little on your kids at Xmas

[quirrelquarrel]

I don't have kids but I know aroundabouts what my parents spend on me and it's usually between £40-100. Some people spend more some less.
So I was wondering, would you ever only spend £10 on your kids each at Xmas, and what would you get them if so, and how would they react? Would you feel guilty or like you'd let Christmas go by that year.....?

absolutely not trying to offend or be all self righteous or whatever, just curious.

Disclaimer: Usually for younger DC though and the key is to not ask them what they want.

showy - absolutely loving your Christmas.

We spend roughly £20-30 each child. Not as resourceful, so element of compensating for lack of organisation there!

My 4yr old has only asked for a doll, it's a specific type of one she's eyed up unwaveringly for months - and that is less than £10. Just getting that would make her so happy.

6yr old hasn't even asked for anything so far - to her, it's the whole festivity of Christmas that she loves, she likes getting a visit from Santa, leaving a mince pie and a carrot out etc etc. Spending family time together, the 'party' atmosphere, wintery trips out - rather than what she can get. Both children also get presents from other family members too, so it's not like they're deprived - they will each get a little pile to open. Bigger presents like scooters, bikes - tend to be bought for birthdays, when we can spread the cost more!

I would have no problem spending £10 on a DC for Christmas but it is amazing how little that buys you!

This year DC1 is getting some train track and carriages, a DVD set he really wants and dc1 and 2 are getting a play kitchen between them. However all of this is second hand, which I don't feel bad about as I have checked everything and it is all good as new but I know some people would hate to give second hand for Christmas. New brio, DVDs and the kitchen would have cost me at least £100, second hand it was £34.50.

If I had startd thinking about Christmas earlier and absolutely HAD to budget I probably could have got much more for much less.

My DC are still quite young so prefer lots of small gifts rather than one big one and the only way to realistically do that is to buy secondhand, I dread to think how I would feel if they were old enough to understand that their gifts were not new-in-pack or wanted something high tech and v expensive!

I also do stockings for DC, lots of little things from the pound shop but also a pair of socks, some chocolate coins so probably the best part of a tenner in there!

I have gone way above what I can afford this year and am cutting back wherever I can to buy them what they want/need and will be skipping a few bills until after Christmas.

But We have had an awful few years and will be just me and my 3 DCs and this is the only way I can seeing them actually smiling on the day tbh.

I am getting my amazing 13 yo DD art stuff and a graphics tablet (it half pice otherwise I could not get it) as she wants to be an artist/animator and although its costing over £100 I think is an investment in her future. I was in pain paying £4 for one pen though

One thing I can't do is not spend the same on my other children though (2 & 6) and will be doing everything possible to spend the same on them. I'd feel so guilty and like I was favouring my eldest.

I won't spend much on dd(6). £10-20 sounds fine. There's certainly no question of an iPad - I wouldn't fork out that much on myself - and she doesn't really want much by way of toys. I will spend money on experiences - we're going to a Christmas party type thing where there will be a lots of old-fashioned games, and we're also travelling to visit my family.

We have a maximum of £50 a child (6 between us both) and stick to it. That includes stockings. People often comment that is a low amount. But really they all play with each others stuff (apart from the 16 year old)

I don't understand people spending hundreds on each child. But each to their own.

If £10 is all I had I would be getting creative.

We only spent about £10 on DS for his first christmas.

He was a few weeks old. He really didn't need anything.

This year we will spend £60 buying him 1 present that we have chosen. He is now 2 and again, he doesn't need anything else so why would we spend more?

Not sure what i could do with only £10 but if that was all i had then i would have to. With younger kids i would probably be able to get 5 or 6 small presents in wilkos for a tenner. A couple of 99p craft sets, small pack of crayons for 29p, colouring book for under £1 and maybe a small buble bath, sponge and bath pencils.

For a teen it would be pretty much impossible to get anything that looked half decent so would offer them the tenner cash with a promise of a treat when i could afford it.

Lucky for me i am in a position to be able to buy them what they have asked for plus a few surprises on top but when i was a child christmas was a pretty lean time so i know how hard it is for many.

yup when ds was 1 I spent about £5 and even that was from taking the pennies from my penny jar. I had just left a violent relationship so we had absolutely nothing. I took the penny jar with us and spent £5 on food and £5 on a toy for ds to open. If you think about it, it was 50% of all the money I had in the world so relatively speaking it was a massive amount.

As it happened we spent that Christmas with my aunt and uncle who took us in and when we woke up on Christmas morning they had half filled the room with gifts!! Not all toys, in fact most of it wasn't. Lots of clothes and things we both sorely needed. I will never forget that Christmas because as guffy as it sounds it was the first one where I had hope and a feeling that everything really was going to be ok.

We don't spend that much. I can afford to, but we chose not to.
Some years I spend more, some less. Sometimes I have spent £20 or £30 on both ds's. Other years more.
They get tons from 2 grandma's and 8 uncles and aunts.
This year we have going to spend £150 on a joint present.

If it was all I had to spend, then it would be all I had to spend. I would probably go to charity shops and sales of work to get stuff. If it was older kids I would explain the situation, if it was small kids it either wouldn't matter as they wouldn't notice or I would just have to manage their expectations and come up with some story about why Santa couldn't bring whatever it was they wanted.

Maeve Binchy used to often tell the story of how her parents had bought her the blackboard she had asked for from Santa. Then on Christmas Eve she suddenly announced she wanted a Dolls' House instead. Her mum and dad spent hours trying to make one themselves then gave up and wrote on the Blackboard, Dear Maeve, couldn't get the Dolls House down the chimney so have brought you the blackboard. Love Santa.

She was so chuffed and excited to get a message from Santa it more than made up for not getting the doll's house.

Kids are adaptable and when needs must most parents can think creatively around things.

Someone I know who is very rich only gives her children one token gift each (maybe £4 each). No stocking from Santa either, as she wants the children to believe in God not Santa. The children are both lovely. (And her house isn't filled with tat!)

We buy a few things second hand. Lego from ebay. Fab bikes from the occasional car boot sales for tenner or £20 that are almost pristine and are worth £200-£300, says dh. We buy these things throughout the year.
So when we get to Christmas, my kids need nothing. Mostly want nothing either.
I normally struggle to think of anything they want. They struggle to think of anything they want.

Mostly they get given a tenner. which goes straight in their bank account.

These kinds of threads stagger me. Because i can't relate to a lot of what some people feel.

We just buy one main present, although could afford more.
Luckily father christmas brings them a stocking too!

That's a really touching story, Cocacolamum

"I'm more talking about only £10 even if you could afford a substantial lot more than that. As in token presents to add the day but not be the purpose of it."

No, i couldnt spend that amount if i could afford more. It doesnt buy very much and i personally dont like charity shops or ebay.

We spend a decent amount on DS, i think Christmas is a lovely time of year. I love a mix of family time, nice gifts and good food. Its once a year.

It all depends on your beliefs and set up though, we dont do the "pay half towards an item" and dont do pocket money so DS gets things throughout the year. We dont have to wait until Christmas for something we wnt so treat him the same. Spending money doesnt equal spoilt, its the attitude and behaviour that does that.

If you can't afford to spend more then fine, do what you can. If you can then be generous. Imo it's one time of year when you do what you can to make it magical for your children. My children get tons of stuff, I spend about £300 on each and save all year to do so. My children don't expect much the rest of the year, they don't ask and will save pocket money or chore money to get the things they want. Spoiling them at Christmas does not seem to have prevented these values from being instilled. I actually find these threads quite annoying, the competitive frugality just for its own seek just comes across as so smug to me.

For DD's first Christmas we got her a Jellycat Rabbit for £12.00

Its still her favourite thing in the whole world.

I'm spending £15 per dc. An they're only getting one present each. And no stocking. we're spending Xmas abroad and I can't be lugging lots of crap across the wod and lugging it back! They're getting an iggle piggle/ upsy daisy goodnight friend dress up doll each. Got it cheap off ebay for £15 instead of amazons £30. I think too many presents means they don't appreciate what they have! We only ever had 1 present each growing up and really treasured them.

Come clean, BEFORE Christmas. "Little presents this year, I'm afraid. But when money gets a bit easier and there's something you really need, we needn't worry if it's Christmas or not."

I assume if you were spending only £10, that is all you can afford or your dc have absolutely everything under the sun.

We have never spent more than £50-60 for dd (5). This was our budget and yes I felt guilty especially after reading how much some mumsnetters spend

Despite dd having lots of aunts and uncles she receives very little from family. They either only care about their own dc make no effort or are in a bad financial situation.

Dh and I stopped buying each other gifts years ago.

They're 2.5 & 5 (both girls) and I will spend about £30 on each. My MIL will spend hundreds and I can't stop her, so I have decided that Christmas is when they get masses of presents from Grandma, rather than a general deluge.

When they are older I won't mind spending more for specific things, but as it's just a general Christmas gift and they have no fixed desires for anything, I'm not going to spend just for the sake of it.