Spending very little on your kids at Xmas

[quirrelquarrel]

I don't have kids but I know aroundabouts what my parents spend on me and it's usually between £40-100. Some people spend more some less.
So I was wondering, would you ever only spend £10 on your kids each at Xmas, and what would you get them if so, and how would they react? Would you feel guilty or like you'd let Christmas go by that year.....?

absolutely not trying to offend or be all self righteous or whatever, just curious.

£10-£20 on a toddler who will be getting plenty of presents from the rest of the family, definitely. We're barely buying anything for ours this year. They'll have no idea. But even when they do it won't often be more than £50 all in apart from years where something bigger is 'needed' - as in, if it's a bike or a scooter etc, then electronics when they are older.

Neither me nor DP come from families that spend a lot of money on presents. Adult presents are in the £10-£20 range normally. So while we can (sort of) afford to spend a few hundred on DC's presents, we certainly won't just for the hell of it. If it's a year where they don't 'need' a bigger present, I can't see me spending more than £30-£100 on a few toys. If all DC had asked for was something that cost £20, I wouldn't go out of my way to spend another £80 just for the hell of it.

Christmas isn't about the money. I think it gets very difficult when you set a budget for each DC, then you might feel you have to spend it. So whereas one DC needs a bike and gets £150 spent on them, you feel you have to spend equivalent on other DC and then they get £150's worth of random toys, which just isn't value for money.

tombaker I think colourful stuff and books are much better than bits of chrome and money. If you think it's cool what you got (and it is) I'm sure your kids will too.
Half the fun when I was a kid was knowing that my mum was so excited to watch me open stuff. She often gave me stuff that had been free or was obviously secondhand and could have afforded a lot more. All my Christmasses have been amazing and rosy and I never felt like I got less than my friends who got shiny tech stuff and big cheques and expensive makeup.

tombakerscarf it sounds as though you have a brilliant Christmas planned for your kids. Don't feel down because your friend is wealthier, cars, ipads and ponies are beyond most people's purses!

I suspect that a lot of the differences even out over the course of the year though, and may also depend on how many other people are buying gifts for your dc. In some families there are 10-20 adults buying gifts for the children, in others there are only say parents and gps. Some families postpone what I think of as "normal spend" and put everything into Christmas, other families will buy gifts for their children as and when the need crops up.

I think that it is lovely to come up with ideas and traditions for your own family. Fortunately many of our family traditions are around people we see and activities we do.

We've never really done big presents in my family. I don't know why as none of us are poor but it's just never been a big thing.

I spend less than £10 on everyone except my own children. I probably spend about £30 - £40 on each of them.

I don't think I'm mean and I have money - I just think there are better things to spend it on than presents (eg we go to the theatre a lot over Christmas holidays, always go travelling in the Summer and I spend a massive amount of money on dance, drama and music stuff.)

Quirrel - I think I've discussed this with you on another thread .

I can afford to spend a lot more than I do on presents. I prefer to save money for DS's pension (yes, we have started a proper pension fund for him ) and I would feel I was spoiling him if I spent loads of money on him. He is 12 now and for example he wanted a PS3 - we told him he had to save half and we would give him the other half as his Christmas present. Yes, I could easily write out a cheque for the full amount but in my opinion (and I understand that everyone is different in this view ) it would have been a vastly extravagent present & I didn't want him to be spoilt and entitled about the sort of presents he receives.

I know the concept of 'spoiling' a child is contentious - but in my view, my child would be spoilt if he received a gift costing more than £100.

really Ragwort? which thread?
sorry, my memory sucks atm!

I spend about £20-£25 on each of my children. If I could only spend £10, I would make them something, like a playmat, with a set of peg dolls. And probably have enough left for a second hand board game. Or get a big box of craft stuff each, so there would be loads all together and they'd have hours of pleasure from it. I'd visit charity shops and pound shops, I'd also try ebay.

I don't have much money this year, but I don't feel bad about it. Why should I? I am spending as much as I have spare, which is very little. I've done the stockings for about £15 each and will buy one thing as the 'big' present but this may be for about £15 again! The a couple of books. That's it.

We still have to buy for other family members and for the children to spend some on their school friends- so that won't be less than £80-100 for the entire family, even at £5-10 per present.

I still think we'll have lots of fun, but I can't be going crazy this year.

We've never spent very much on the children – when they were babies, we re-wrapped what they'd got for their birthdays as they were only interested on the wrapping paper anyway!! We have also combined things they need with presents (i.e. 2 year old got a bed one year – with all new bedding – she was over the moon – H assembled it whilst they were playing with something and then we took her upstairs for the present Father Christmas had put in the wrong place ;-)!). DS has had new football foots etc. They've had 2nd hand bikes, 2nd hand desks – that we've bought months in advance and painted / cleaned / upcycled etc. Also we've done "Gift Certificates" – for a day out ice skating, an art lesson etc, things that they'd enjoy etc. This year, we've bought more "stuff" but not necessarily expensive (a packet of the 42p finger lights as stocking fillers etc). Its hard when their friends get Ipod touch / Ipads etc. But they get lots of presents from the extended family and I don't want them to get spoiled plus its very expensive now with 3 children and I am desperately trying not to feel forced into keeping up with the Jones'.

Weirdly the best presents last year were 2 blankets I got the girls (4 and 6). I had sewn on their swimming/gym badges etc. They LOVE these blankets - they are on their beds, they play with them, take them on long journeys. All the other toys forgotten but a year later the blankets (£8 each) still going strong!

I'm doing ok for my three this year because there's a Christmas Club in the local toyshop chain, where you can pay things off weekly, starting in September. I know it's the same as putting money aside each week, but I'd never get round to doing that (or I'd spend it!).

It's meant I can get them some half decent stuff, and the shops seem to have loads of choice, plus sales on all the time. Went in for a look today and found something perfect for my Pokemon-mad 8 year old at half price.

I'm not spending loads though and they're all getting about £100 each (including a main gift for half of that), including lots of books and arty/crafty stuff. I don't think I've paid full-price for anything. If I see something I like in a shop, I always hunt it down on the internet to see if it's cheaper (but only if free postage is included). My three are 12, almost 9 and 5.

I do think boys toys are more expensive for what you get though. As someone said, it's about £15 for a shitty little action figure, whereas you could buy loads of girls sparkly/glittery shit for that

Have to say, I'm loving some of the ideas people have on this thread too. All the personalised stuff and gift vouchers for treats and stuff. Inspired!

We love the run up to Christmas as much as the day itself, I think.

DD's birthday is 30 November, so we get that done and then that night I hang traditional advent calendars for them (the cardboard ones with the little pictures) and also a felt one with pockets for little chocolates. We had the cardboard ones when I was a kid and I love seeing my three compare which pictures they've got each morning. I like giving them all a little chocolate too, but this way, I can choose which chocolates I buy. Is it just me or are the chocolates in the character advent calendars really cheap shit? (Unless you buy the Cadbury or Lindt ones).

We go to lots of Christmas fairs/bazaars/markets, meet lots of Father Christmases (not the real one, obviously, helpers he sends out to spread the word and gather intel ). We love the big lights switch on (new place this year, so even more exciting) where we usually see reindeer (and real penguins last year!) and have hot chocolate. We go to carol services. Enjoy all the school stuff.

And we start with the Christmas films about midway through December. We watch, every year, without fail, Elf, Home Alone 1 & 2, The Santa Clause, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Miracle On 34th Street, The Box of Delights and Muppet Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve before bed. For the last three years we've all settled down to watch the newest Julia Donaldson adaptation on BBC3, on Christmas day, with a little cake or something, before DS goes to bed.

I've bought some of the Christmas Tree crumpets from Asda and stashed them in the freezer for DS2 (a crumpet fiend) for Christmas morning as a surprise and have two tins of chocolates hidden too. I'll get some biscuits and that's it for Christmas food, really. We eat the chocolates/biscuits when we watch the films!

This year will be a bit odd because we're not living with my ex for the first time at Christmas. We're in a new town, a new house. But we're by my family and going to my parents for dinner on the day. We're all so excited!

Sorry for the epic ramble - don't know why I've written all this down!

I think, especially when they are very young, opening lots of presents can be very overwhelming. I always remember my nephew going into full on meltdown, having opened loads of presents and not getting the one thing he wanted, Mousetrap! That's when it is easy to economise.

I spend a lot now but a lot of their presents are things they actually need, for example, DS needs new t shirts and he likes expensive skate branded ones, so they double up as his present. He's getting a new phone as his old one (a hand me down from DH) is on its last legs. Dd is getting her riding lessons as part of her present because they are bloody expensive and, by making them a present, I think she can appreciate that more than us just paying for them as a matter of course.

DS2 informed me this morning that he needs new school shoes (he doesn't, the sole is slightly damaged) but it's ok because 'he'll as Father Christmas for some'!

TheZeeTeam - that reminds me of my worst Christmas ever, we did get my DS the game of 'Mousetrap' and it took ages for DH to put it together - I can remember sitting there with a strained look on my face thinking 'is this what Christmas is going to be like forever now we are parents' . It is the most pointless game ever and I think DS only played with it once until I lost it somewhere .

To me, it isn't so much about "my child would be spoilt if they had a gift exceeding x value" or "my child wouldn't have a real Christmas if their gifts were only worth x"- it's more about the things I actually want them to have (and what I can afford).

My parents usually gave us a few books. But at some stage during our childhood my brother and I both got a camera; not the same Christmas, not because we had to have gifts costing the same amount, just because individually we were at a stage where that was a good gift for us. My other brother got a woodturning lathe for his birthday one year.

Atm I am putting most of dd's gifts, birthday and Christmas, into things that will support her chosen career: books on the right subject, tickets to shows she needs to see, a railcard. In her case, I think this is more important than a pension fund later. There's no general principle behind it: just what I think is right for her now.

We have a £5 present limit in the family. I do stretch it a bit for the children but I don't spend more than about £15 max on them. I do most of my shopping in charity shops too. This is nothing to do with making a point or being miserly. In our house the presents are a tiny, token part of the day. We do so many other things that are free and all go towards making Christmas 'special'. We go to light switch ons and wander Christmas markets, free open air theatre, pine cone and holly leaf collecting, wreath making, making decorations, baking etc. This year we borrowed a children's book of carols earlier in November, with simple music from the library and DD and I have been learning them on the piano and recorder. We are going to put on a show in Christmas Eve for grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. DS bangs his drum and we all sing off key. We will also make reindeer food and send a letter up the chimney, we will make saltdough biscuits and we will visit friends. We volunteer in soup kitchens and we bake goodies for people and deliver them on Christmas Eve. This is a tiny fraction of the celebrations which will happen over the next few weeks.

If you ask dd (6) what she likes about Christmas, it's all of the above. The presents come way down the list. Currently, she's excited about the Christmas market which is coming to town. We're going to go and collect cones on the beach beforehand, wander round the market and then come home and make decorations. It's all she can talk about. If you ask about presents, she'll tell you what she's making for her friends, about how she's saved her pocket money to buy a book for her brother. She genuinely asks for little for herself.

I feel I'm on borrowed time tbh. I know from playground chats that her best friends are having a kindle fire and an ipod (dd has never heard of either), other dc are getting hudls and ipads and piles and piles of stuff. We have neither the money nor the room for these things but more importantly, Christmas is very special to me and I know that so far dd adores it for what it is, not what she gets given. I adore it with every fibre of my being. Our whole family does. None of us spend much and we don't buy for adults but we do all come together for 4 or 5 days. We eat and bake and drink and sit by the fire. Children stay up late, music is on the whole time, the food is awesome and all I can remember of Christmas really is how loved and happy it makes me feel. I see dd feeling all that too and it's bog all to do with money and value of presents.

This year I have bought the following for dd:

8 books (£2.40 from the charity shop)
A new coat (£4.25 from the charity shop)
A melamine Ninja Turtles bowl (99p from ebay)
A tube of Fruit Pastilles (99p from Asda)
A jigsaw puzzle (50p from the charity shop)

I will also knit and crochet a few things (couple of jumpers and am making her a Gryffindor cape), paint her some pictures and put together some craft activities. One of the books will arrive on Christmas Eve with some new pyjamas (yet to buy) and I'll make her some special bath oils, all to be delivered by an elf on Christmas Eve.

DS is 2 and wants 'a cake'. This I will bake nearer the time. I've bought him some socks too (much needed) ad a chocolate Father Christmas.

I've also ordered some fabric and I'm making them a couple of small Christmas sacks, embroidered with their names and stockings. My parents, ILs and siblings have got some small gifts to put in the sacks(flannels, toothbrushes, socks etc) so they'll have the joy of opening stuff in the morning and the grandparents and aunts/uncles will also give them a few things to open on the days we see them. Over a period of 4 or 5 days they will see 4 grandparents, 5 great grandparents, 2 great great grandparents, 3 uncles, 2 aunts, 3 cousins and many friends, all of whom will give them a small, well thought out gift. Spread over the days, the gift giving is more than enough and they appreciate each separate item more I think because it's not a massive pile in one go.

I might not spend ££ but don't mistake this for not putting in effort, thinking of the dc and what will make them smile over the whole period not just on the morning of the 25th and don't think for a second that I don't put in a lot of time and effort.

I think that presents shouldn't be the focus of Christmas and it would be great to have a wonderful family day full of games and food and fun

We will have fun and a wonderful family day but it will involve shed loads of presents because my children would have kittens if at the rip old ages of 10, 12 and 15 I stopped getting them presents

It is a lovely idea though

it is a sad sign of the shit that goes round in our society when someone starts crying because someone else's kids get a lot more for retailmas.

if you feed, clothe, educate and love your kids, that's all that matters. Sparkly tat is just waste.

go second-hand and charity, more fun!

Cory - I think that is a good point about giving presents that you want your child to have. It can be difficult when children ask for something that you feel is entirely inappropriate or just tacky. We are not keen on technology (luddites) so for us it was a big deal when we got our DS a mobile phone* when he was 12; equally that was the reason behind him having to pay half towards a PS3.

*particularly when I cocked up the whole purchase thinking I could get it with Tesco points and getting into all sorts of difficulties with the network etc - all things I just didn't understand

showy that truly sounds wonderful

Happy Christmas

I've spent. £27 so far on DD, she will have a stocking though.
£5 gruffalo costume from charity shop
Baby Annabel for £13 in sainsbos
And a monsters inc onesie £9

DS on on the other hand will cost me about £100+ stocking

She is 3 and he will be 11. I'm saving on DD while I can.

Stockings will be things we would buy anyway but are trying to last til Xmas without needing to buy.
Hair clips for DD
Hair products, Lynx etc for DS
Wellie socks
Character pants
Pjs
Bubble bath
Art stuff etc

I feel like martin Lewis.

It is very possible, if you attend some car boots throughout the year, do freecyle and go to NCT sales that you can have a full bag of very good quality toys for xmas for a tenner!