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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to speak to the school about this?

156 replies

Queen0fFlamingEverything · 27/11/2013 11:22

DD is in Yr 6 at a small village school. Every day, almost without fail, her class are at least 5 minutes late out of school. The other classes are generally out on time, and on the one day a fortnight that her class has a different teacher to the usual class teacher, her class are also on time.

They are meant to finish at 3.15 but the earliest her teacher has ever let them out is 3.19. Most days its more like 3.25 and several times it has been 3.30. DD says this is because the teacher insists on everyone standing silently before anyone leaves.

There's no shelter in the playground and its pretty unpleasant waiting with smaller children. I often just turn up at 20 past now, but for people with DC in other classes thats not an option.

More seriously though, DD wants to start walking home on her own. Its a 15 minute walk over fields with no major roads to cross, which I am otherwise happy with her doing - but I want to know when to expect her back and when to start worrying if she's late...

OP posts:
Original poster
Queen0fFlamingEverything · 27/11/2013 11:24

As in - I'm happy to allow 20-25 mins for dawdling home but then how am I meant to know if she's 15 mins late because she's been in an accident or whatever, or if she's just been let out 15 mins late!

OP posts:
Lonecatwithkitten · 27/11/2013 11:25

I have to admit I always want them to be late as it means teaching has probably gone on till last minute and then faffing about occurs after the bell. But that may just be meGrin.
Unless there is a well lit path home I wouldn't let her walk it though.

noblegiraffe · 27/11/2013 11:25

Not acceptable. You'd be criticised if you were late every day, and 15 minutes is ridiculous. People have places to go and activities booked.

If the teacher's routine is making them late, then she needs to start it earlier. Or get better at it.

curlew · 27/11/2013 11:28

Or parents should tell their kids to stand quietly when they are asked to? Then they won't be late out..........

MidniteScribbler · 27/11/2013 11:28

Parents should teach their children to stand quietly then shouldn't they if getting out on time is so important. The sounding of a bell does not mean school rules no longer apply.

uptheanty · 27/11/2013 11:29

I don't think it's unreasonable of the teacher to ask for silence before the children leave, in yr 6 they should be able to follow instructions.

TBH i suspect YABU, it wouldn't bother me waiting but then i don't have small children.

Maybe it's time to let your dd come home alone but maybe get her a phone (with limits) that you can check on her as she sets off.

riskit4abiskit · 27/11/2013 11:29

Agree with curlew!

volestair · 27/11/2013 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

capsium · 27/11/2013 11:33

If you are concerned, and it sounds like you are, I would speak to them. It is the only way to resolve this issue.

It is not unusual though. My DC's often late out, I suspect for similar reasons. I think it is unfair too. Discipline should be established in school's time. It sounds like silence is beyond the classes capabilities. Whole class punishments are also unfair generally, especially since it seems to be the only class let out so late.

I don't make a fuss because I will put up with waiting and I don't want my DC to worry too much about this. It also happens in secondary, from what is said on here. However I do not have younger children to worry about.

BitOutOfPractice · 27/11/2013 11:34

Vilestair what a bonkers idea!

Op this would annoy me too. My DDs' guides always comes out 10 minutes late. Apart from the times I decide not to turn up till 10 past, when they come out 5 minutes early!

BitOutOfPractice · 27/11/2013 11:35

Sorry, vole not vile!!

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/11/2013 11:36

Yr 6? So aged 10/11.

Good grief they should be able to stand still for five mins. No wonder it's still going on if parents are getting hacked off with the school as opposed to ensuring their kids behave themselves.

Nanny0gg · 27/11/2013 11:36

Perhaps not practical in reality, but I'd be tempted to say sod it, and tell your daughter to just walk out of the classroom at 3.15. School is over.

As long as you're happy for the teacher to walk out of the classroom at 3.15 and not be available for children or parents.

After all, school is over.

OP- have a quiet word with the teacher if it's really a problem for you.

volestair · 27/11/2013 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

capsium · 27/11/2013 11:39

Giles I have said this before and I will say it again. It is up to the school to establish discipline in their own time. Parent's cannot be expected to parent by remote control. Neither can they be expected to be responsible for class control. That is up to the teachers.

Some children may not be capable of silence at that age either. Why should the incapable ones be singled out or the capable ones be made to suffer?

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/11/2013 11:44

But they were let out at 3:19 one day. So clearly they can and did do it.

capsium · 27/11/2013 11:47

3.19 is not 3.15. School should do all this establishing silence business in their own time.

capsium · 27/11/2013 11:49

^It obviously is not a secure skill yet...

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/11/2013 11:50

So on the sAme note you'd be happy for your kid to come out half dressed at 3:15 if the pe lesson was last thing because the teacher went "times up"

MidniteScribbler · 27/11/2013 11:52

It's all of this 'it's the school's problems' that is why there are so many discipline problems. If more parents accepted that following through on behaviour and consequences is important, instead of being an imposition on four of their precious moments, then the students would realise that they actually need to do what they are told.

noblegiraffe · 27/11/2013 11:54

I'm a secondary teacher and I would be rightly disciplined if I was constantly letting kids out of my lessons 5-15 minutes late because I was trying to get them quiet. In my case I would be disrupting the next lesson, or causing kids to miss their bus.

I don't see why it should be any different at primary because it is 'only' the parents being inconvenienced.

And I would worry about a teacher who regularly took that long to achieve silence with a class they know well.

In Y6 presumably there's no handover to parents so ones who are quiet could be allowed to go, thus only wasting the time of the actual miscreants for a start.

CoffeeTea103 · 27/11/2013 11:55

If more parents supported the school then maybe there will be less discipline issues. Not being able to stand silently is a discipline issue.

volestair · 27/11/2013 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Queen0fFlamingEverything · 27/11/2013 11:56

Pretty sure it's not my DO that's incapable of standing in silence for a minute! There are a couple of children whose names come up frequently . As being the noisy ones...

OP posts:
capsium · 27/11/2013 11:57

Glies The teacher should know how long the children take to dress and adjust timings accordingly.

As I have said I do give leeway,to teachers and my child. I do not want my DC to worry overly about this, so I will wait. However some people so not have the same luxury to be as flexible as I am for a number of reasons.

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