AIBU to stop visiting a friend who's mantra is 'if it's brown flush it down, if it's yellow let it mellow'?

[RoseRedder]

I feel really uncomfortable around people's/my own toilet usage in general.

I can only poo in my own house, hate the idea if I need a wee that people can hear me so tend to turn on the cold water tap when I go.

Friend only flushes her toilet after a poo, so if visting and I need a wee I'm more often than not faced with dead wee already in there.

This makes me open and the lid then gag and puts me right off of using it.

Also I could never leave a toilet without flushing.

I'd like to know if I'm being odd and this is a normal thing that people do, or do most people flush?

Just to add friend is in England and is metered for water, I'm in Scotland and we don't have water meters, so I am wondering if this is the reason, although she sites it more on a 'saving the planet' reasons

I would go in flush, then use the loo, then flush again personally. put some paper in the loo first if you worry about noise.

My parents do this.

I'm not on a meter but they still do it in my house.

Funny how people get about cleanliness/tidiness but don't flush away their own piss, isn't it?

If your cat pissed on the floor would you let it mellow? Nope. You'd have all manner of cleaning products out wiping it up. Human piss is no different.

Apparently if you have less people in your house than bedrooms a water meter is a good idea.

I often don't bother flushing after a wee, it just seems a waste. But I wouldn't expect visitors to adhere to any sort of flushing policy, and I always flush if using someone else's toilet. I can't imagine your friend would be bothered if you did as sparkling suggests and just flush before and after you use her loo. If it is an otherwise good friendship it seems a bit silly to stop visiting just because of this.

We don't have water bills here in Scotland, it's built into the council tax

Tell her to stick a brick in her cistern

I do what your friend does, mostly because our flush is a bit duff and very loud. I suggest that you flush once when you go in, then do your business, then flush again. I wouldn't be bothered if anyone did that in my house.

Or if you feel so strongly about it then say something. She'll probably be surprised that you care so much (since she clearly doesn't) but if she likes you/is a nice person then she'll make an effort to have it flushed when you go round. I'd do that for my friends.

I do this since getting a water meter. I wouldn't get upset if you didn't but would be annoyed if you flushed before AND after. I'd be really upset if you stopped visiting though. It's very difficult to keep on budget with a meter. I appreciate you find it very difficult but it isn't going to leap out of the loo

You shouldn't be listening for flushing Kundry. And i daren't ask what happens when folk have their period.

We're mostly the same as your friend.

I'd make sure it was flushed if we had a visitor though, & wouldn't expect them not to flush.

We don't tend to pee on the floor, only in the toilet, so that it doesn't need "wiping up"

I think piss on the floor is rather different from piss in a lavatory MrsK. And some people might not want to waste litres of laboriously treated drinking water flushing away a single pee even if they won't be charged for it personally.

However, I agree that this is not nice behaviour when you have guests. OP, I suggest you just have a word with your friend. Avoid using the words "dear heavens that's so gross I can't believe your total lack of standards" or similar, and tend to the phrasing "look, I hate to say this, but I happen to have a bit of an OCD thing about toilets, and your otherwise admirable environmental stand brings me out in hives, so could you please humour me by flushing when I visit - sorry to be such a pain". Treat it as if you were afraid of spiders and asking her to hide her pye tarantula in the spare room when you came to visit - the matter of which of you is actually being unreasonable is beside the point - the important thing is for you to be able to visit a mate without throwing up.

My eldest son (15) does this sometimes no particular green or saving money angle. Just lazy!

I feel your disgust.

plus, it is my son. God knows how rank it is having to deal with others urine!

Not unreasonable at all.

Thinking about it a bit more I'd like to add.

Those that leave it, must be totally unaware that it stinks?

It makes the whole bathroom smell like a park toilet!

We do this at night so as not to disturb anyone else with the sound of the flush.

my sons and dh are guilty if this, horrible especially the early morning pee that's a bit strong!

yeuk. yanbu.

YY teen boys' wee.

I think she IBU. Guests/friends should be made to feel comfortable in your home and part of this is sparing them your bodily waste.

We live in a country where water is metered and very expensive. We 'let it mellow' in our en suite bathroom but NEVER in the guest bathroom.

I would be very unimpressed at someone running the water whilst they had a wee though!

We leave ours. It's a horrendous waste of water to flush every single time. If we have people coming round we flush before they come. If the toilet at your friends was skiddy and smelly I could understand your reaction.

My mum does this but if she has visitors she'll flush and even I will flush after I've been no mater what her policy is. I don't get offended or grossed out by it though, just don't feel comfortable doing the same.

I leave mine through the day but there's only me in the house and I wee in the upstairs loo. I always flush the loo if someone is due round and keep the downstairs loo flushed in case of unexpected visitors. It is such a waste of water to flush every time.

But then I'm in the MN minority on that, judging by a recent towel-washing thread where loads of people wash their towels daily! Seems no-one is that bothered about water usage... Oh and I'm in Scotland so don't have a meter.

I can't look at old pee.

Old pee also smells.

I flush all the time. I don't care about the stupid saying, having old piss in a toilet stinks.

I normally flush every time downstairs. Don't in the middle of the night upstairs though, due to the awful noise it makes.

I'm hanging on to our Water Rate status like grim death, most other people I know are metered, and once you've changed to a meter you can't change back.

Dsis no.2 is in a metered flat, she's notoriously tighter than a gnat's chuff, she has the 'mellow' thing as one of her mantras and her bathroom pongs even though she does keep it clean.

We don't always flush neither, but always do before visitors.
If its only the dc as well, it is more environmentally friendly to not flush every time.
I wouldn't expect others to though.
If I were you, I wouldn't lift the seat but flush on going in and flush on coming out, as another poster said.

YANBU how disgusting.

Dear God, what would have some of you lot have done in 1976? Actually the more I think about it, if we had that kind of situation now, the country would be in much worse trouble because people have become so squeamish and irrational.