Adults fussing about presents

[jumperooo]

People who make a big fuss about what presents they get (Christmas, Birthday). Making lists for people to choose from. Getting annoyed if they get something they didn't ask for. Choosing expensive things all the time to get their monies worth. Placing value on how many things bought, how much is spent in return. Even making a fuss about bloody Secret Santa at work, because they don't want something silly or £5, they want something good.

God, BORE OFF. It's embarrassing for adults to act like this. Why do they care about having all this bloody stuff?!

It winds me up. Yes I expect I am being unreasonable. Thanks for the rant!

I'm not grateful for shite presents. There. I've said it.

I just cannot bring myself to get excited at opening yet another shower gel/bubble bath combo. Not even if it comes with body puff!

I have amazon lists of books I want too, but they only get shared if people ask, I use them as a memory aid for myself. Same with my Pinterest boards of things I'd like.

Yes, I agree with the fuss aspect. I think giving pressies to children can be nice but adults should buy their own stuff really! Bah humbug

It really comes to something when not only buying presents for loved ones becomes a chore, but receiving them!!!!

Are grown adults that precious?

It's all very well saying Christmas is just for kids, but that makes it a pretty plead time for those of us without! There are literally no kids in my life (a combination of my age, small family and most of my friends being a certain sort of mid - late 20s who haven't hit that stage yet!). We need to maintain the gift giving culture to be able to indulge in the joys of obscure present selection! My best buddy's present literally just came in the post today from the states and I am super excited because it's cool! I will also be excited by whatever she gets me as I know she will have put a load of effort in, though it wouldn't bother me what she actually gets. If we didn't do presents,mid have nothing to shop for, nothing to wrap and no present giving Christmassy joy at all . That is not a world I wish to inhabit!

Bleak. A pretty BLEAK time. Thanks iPad!

It's like wedding presents. You don't ask for them or expect them. But if people ask what you'd like, it's fine to give suggestions.

However you don't count the cost (it's the thought that counts) and if you receive a surprise you accept it with thanks. It's just good manners.

Don't get me started on wedding gift lists, baby showers and baby shower lists, christening lists. Endless bloody lists. The height of grabbiness.

YADNBU Everyone's said it already.

But it can't be said often enough that there is nothing 'fun' about work Secret Santa. Everyone's busy and money's scarce. Nobody needs another present to go out and buy,especially for someone they hardly know and might not even like.

Our office SS is something for £1 from Poundland. It might be only £1 but it's such a waste. It either gets eaten immediately, thrown in the bin or left in a desk drawer all year. I am alone in refusing to have anything to do with it though.

My family all do lists of things we would love. We don't expect anything but if we are going to buy a gift for someone it is good to know it is money well spent, will be gratefully received and won't be consigned to the bottom of the wardrobe. And because I would personally rather receive nothing instead of a generic "gift set" - nothing says "I was thinking of you" like grabbing the first thing in the gift area in Boots!

Hmm I disagree to a certain extent.

Most of my family make lists of things they would like (but we do make sure to have things for all budgets on there). We just create Amazon wish lists (and you can add items not from Amazon too).

People have to work hard to earn the money to spend on gifts they are going to give me. I would much rather that money was spent on something I really liked and wanted rather than something I wasn't that keen on and would (discreetly) recycle or charity shop.

Equally say I spend half a day working to earn the money to buy my sister something I want to know it is something she will get some genuine pleasure out of and is a treat.

We all throw in surprise presents if we see something we know the recipient will love and we certainly don't expect anyone to stick to a list (it's there for ideas) but I don't think having a list is a terrible thing ... unless you attach expectations to it and purposely list high-value things, putting pressure on people.

Secret Santa at work can be a nightmare in my experience - though DH seems to have some fun with it at his place, because they buy silly stuff for each other. Doing it any other way seems crazy to me and asking for trouble

Totally agree, it's pathetic. I work up north and was told I was being part of Secret Santa with my office down in London last year. We were spending £20 Bear in mind I'm in London for about five days a year, I'm not exactly besties with anyone.

Yes, yes, yes

I think I would just feel a bit silly on Christmas Day opening presents like one of the kids. I love spoiling them and seeing their little faces, but with other adults it's more about sharing a meal, having a glass of wine and enjoying being together.

I DO think giving someone a list they haven't asked got is really rude and I won't buy anything from it on purpose.

I really think YABU though.
We can't win.
Christmas is for children but don't dare buy them anything more than a fair trade tea bag or your spoiling them and ruining the sentiment of Christmas.

You can't give people tat, it's a waste of money and only contributes to land fill but you have to receive it with a festive grin and be grateful.

You can't even say "Oh Thank you so much for the crocheted mankini and same Chocolate fondue you have given me three years running, it's just what I always wanted"
Donate it to the Church tombola and come on here and moan to people who don't know you anymore because it's grabby.
Even though you spent hours trawling the internet looking for a copy of their favourite childhood book that they really did always want because you wanted to get them a nice present.

seems crazy to me.

List writer over here hides

My birthday is close to the holidays so I write one just cuz' DM is no spring chicken , If left to her my presents would consist of things she thought were nice :O.
And is used as a get for birthday/xmas off here, anything I don't get though I buy with the money I get.

I do agree with you too Salty that lists in themselves aren't the problem, they can be a good idea and can be good to say/know what people would really like instead of just getting each other more generic gifts or choosing a bit randomly/ making a stab in the dark.
I think the high streets have had it too easy for years at Christmas with rather random gift selection, and it's a good thing if people are now tending to give it more thought/ say what they'd actually like.
But it's all about the attitude isn't it?
People can become a bit grabby and lose perspective.

We do lists as a general agreement because we all prefer to buy things the recipient would enjoy. We definitely cater for all budgets though.

I also do a list for DD for relatives who ask for it - usually books, craft sets etc.

I actually couldn't care less about receiving presents but I would receive anything - even if it was the worst present imaginable - with as much good grace as the best present ever.

Oh, I don't know. I really don't. My parents and in-laws worked their arses off in shitty jobs all year round and it broke my heart to think of them wasting their hard-earned cash on a bizarre ornament or jumper for me and DH. Oddly enough they would ask what the DC might like, which worked out much better for them. And tbh, I'd rather have been given some ideas about what they'd have preferred, rather than the annual 'See to yourselves - don't go wasting money on us', which is no help whatsoever and probably results in many another bizarre gift in the eyes of the recipient.

Princessy grabbiness is vile, though.

I always feel that families that give exact lists might as well agree that they just go out and buy themselves X number of things they want.

I see very little enjoyment in either giver or receiver to be told exactly what to buy.

It is different if people are stuck sometimes and ask, or if people give general ideas that the giver can choose price and actual item. But the exact down to link on internet might as well give money. And those who tend to do that ime also tend to give "ideas" that are price-y.

Someone once said to me that they tell people what they want and where to buy it from. Isn't that just like a shopping list?

I think presents should be given only if the giver wants to and should be something they like and think the recipient will like. Presents should be received graciously with thanks, even if you loathe it and will sell/regift/chuck it afterwards.

The grown ups in my family do £10 of scratch cards as b'day gifts, and at Christmas we have to make sure we've a present from santa each aswell (to stop the kids getting suspicious).

A guy I used to work with told me he'd only ever got his wife one anniversary card (for their first anniversary), he re-uses the same one every year and adds a new message every year so that his wife has something to look back on (I thought that was quite a nice idea actually).